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cult papa

@cult-papa.com
9.7K followers 1.3K following 12K posts

not a cult just really obsessed streaming tuesdays and thursdays at 9:30pm est he/him my best posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:evlngincxz…

PostsRepliesMedia
cult papa @cult-papa.com · 17m
bruce willis in die hard crawling through the vents. edited to have a star trek communicator badge, and scanner
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 20m
no it’s fine captain picard by all means do that evasive maneuver while i’m shitlodged in the maintenance vents of this haunted hayride of a space fairing vessel like the constipated turd i feel.
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 4h
there's an evil in my phone that keeps making me look at things i don't want to see. maybe one more scroll will do it
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Reposted by cult papa
pork, cheese, broccoli rabe @garlicbuffalo.gobirds.biz · 5h
thinkin about makin a big ol ziti this weekend while watching some Prestige Television
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 5h
it’s time to rewatch the sopranos again
sopranos screenshot tony is reaching o er to christopher and the caption reads “you smell that? it’s fucking autumn.”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 7h
the doctor wrote the cool S on the prescription pad so yeah, i’m pretty sure i’m sick as hell
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 7h
it’s whimpering wednesday, just let out a fresh one upon opening my work email. first of many i assume
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 7h
the beast of sanity can’t catch me today because i am insane
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 7h
logging on
debbie from the wild thornberries holding open the door of the rv and saying to eliza “if you need anything from me, reconsider”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 29/09/2026
“no baby i swear it was my muse agent that messaged all those women. you have to believe me”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 29/09/2026
i’m jotting down my unwell wishes towards you in my pokopia ditto notebook btw
notebook with ditto in the corner. entry that reads “one thousand years of diarrhea”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 28/09/2026
STOP FUCKING WITH THE FOOD I WANT TO BE ABLE TO EAT FOOD RFK JR YOU LEATHER FEED BAG
static.klipy.com
Jake Gyllenhaal Angry Scream
Alt: Jake Gyllenhaal Angry Scream
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 28/09/2026
*horns blaring from above* IT IS TOO LATE taking concerta with an energy drink broke the seal! Your feeble attempt to quell the evil with 2 handfuls of cheez-its can do nothing to halt what comes next you’re going to be an asshole now forever Everyone hates you Everyone is being annoying on purpose!
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Reposted by cult papa
Olivia Messer @oliviamesser.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
in case anyone was wondering what happens if ants realize there’s sugar water in those waterpik flosser machines, the answer is that you shoot ants into your mouth WITH the water and don’t realize it until you spit them out into the sink
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 28/09/2026
a high of 57° all day? oh yeah baby that’s the shit i like
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 28/09/2026
logging on
0130
cult papa @cult-papa.com · 28/09/2026
logging off
meat clown. bologna with a clown face in it
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 27/09/2026
I WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAME. WHY IS THE DESPAIR SQUARE ROBBING ME OF MY TIME
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Reposted by cult papa
ceej @ceej.online · 27/09/2026
over the next few years you are going to see kids posting infinite variations of “millennials always wait until the end of the transaction to scan their card 🙄” and it is your sacred duty to not let that turn you into a turbochud
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 27/09/2026
logging on
a puppet dog holding a book that says "sweeps master plan for more attention"
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 27/09/2026
i'm tired of hearing about whats coming to fortnite. come to normal things like homegrown simpsons stuff
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brad [Dwigt Rortugal arc] @bradicality.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I LOVE READING THINGS ON THE INTERNET
Pim from Smiling Friends grossup, he’s dried up like a husk, eyes red, his whole head looks infected.  He has one hair on his head and it looks like a roach leg
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 27/09/2026
do you shit your post at us, sir?
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
you fight yourself, i fight the moon. we are not the same
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
I LOVE POSTING ON THE INTERNET
pim from smiling friends with his arms outstretched and his eyes closed
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
logging on
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
always sunny meme where they are throwing popcorn at a painting. i edited in the moon because that glowing pale bastard is interrupting my ability to sleep.

caption reads: “i’ve had enough of this dude.”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
man i’m so restless. i better not look on my weather app and see that it’s a fuckin full moon out tonight
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
logging off
newspaper clipping of two fix locked at the lips and the headline says “ONE WET SMACK”
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 26/09/2026
“wrinkle mcstinkle is the only one that has popping nipples because they’re too close together” is a sentence i had to say when describing why this particular fuggler keychain i have has fidget nipples
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
yeah the beast that eats me has consumed most parts of my fleshy vessel but at least it’s creators made it look kinda cute
030
cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
no you cannot seek refuge in my home you giant disgusting stink bug
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 15/09/2026
it’s too late i have already depicted you as the butterfly in the sky and i can go twice as high
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
i put your peen in a cats eye marble and now i got your dick by the balls send post
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
yes iphone. this is an important photo memory for you to highlight to me
iphones highlighted photos showing an unassuming deer(?)the deer has a screaming ass
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
girl are you ovulating or do you normally make snarling sounds of the beast from the tales
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
you cannot bait my rage for i am already too angry for this digital hell
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 25/09/2026
logging on
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 24/09/2026
a package that has always said it was coming on friday is still on time to be delivered tomorrow and i can't believe the audacity of it not showing up right now when i want it to be here
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 24/09/2026
sorry man the full nuance of your real opinion wasn't conveyed in your drive-by shitpost for the laff, so i have deduced you are incredibly dumb
090
cult papa @cult-papa.com · 24/09/2026
insurance companies watching me drive safe and not take risks while collecting their lion share of my paycheck
golden homer simpson
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 24/09/2026
LOGGING ON
two green skeletons boning with their boners
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 24/09/2026
i can’t be depression anymore. i’ve decided it
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Reposted by cult papa
Rob (the floor one) @floorisbed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
thanks. from there i found www.chrisbuck.com/blog/chris-f...
chrisbuck.com
Chris Farley, 1994 — Chris Buck - Photographer / Director
Flipping through the contact sheets after his death, the pictures depicted him as dramatic and sad that was not pretentious, but actually telling.
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 23/09/2026
you saw me molt 🧿👄🧿
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 23/09/2026
logging on
photo of chris farley wearing a crown and smoking a cigarette in front of a window
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 23/09/2026
it’s not ragebait i’m just incredibly dumb
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 23/09/2026
old boss insisted on everyone using ai. wanted us to use ai to write our self reviews. he used ai to summarize the ai written review. then he used ai to write his response based on the ai summary of the ai review. i’m sure there isn’t a total collapse baked into that or anything.
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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
my email finding you
the ring girl crawling out of a tv screen
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cult papa @cult-papa.com · 22/09/2026
the email found me.
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