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TukTuk

@coolysses.bsky.social
68 followers 190 following 153 posts

Do NOT follow. I will change your life.

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Reposted by TukTuk
TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Never thought I'd say this but it's 2026 and ghost reveries is better than blackwater park
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Never thought I'd say this but it's 2026 and ghost reveries is better than blackwater park
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What kind of chicken is Foghorn Leghorn
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
To cultivate a life where my death is understandable and accepted
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
So where are my facebook guys out here?? The old prompts! I love you guys thanks for showing up to the swarm on only 3 nanoseconds of notice. Seriously. Anyways, my ex was Linux ...open source (pulls digital necktie and sweats using math) No no seriously xy/(8$6..._(/;23hhh, amirite?
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Spent the night interrupting my gf dad to say my favorite quote is let there be light
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
If therapists gave a letter grade after six sessions then I'd id be.more focused on what they want to hear
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Drone that just buzzes someone's hair down the middle.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
What if I don't get it? What happens to me?
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
I feel like Judge Reinhold used to be in more movies
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another morgan @mheslin.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
no Robert Pollard? does quantity mean NOTHING? he's written seven songs since this article was posted. mathematically speaking, he's probably already written the exact text of this article in the form of lyrics in an album called Clown Miracles for Speaker Witches
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Reading @pftompkins.bsky.social posts as he gets grumpier and more crotchety over time is awesome. The funniest get off my lawn guy out there these days. Salute to the real one!
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
I'm no one but @bitshammer.bsky.social is smashing the retweets tonight. Whoever bits is they are on a tear. Warhammer be damned the truth remains.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
What the fuck is this fucking phone app about. I don't get it. Jerry Chen jokes. Who the fuck is he. Are you guys on computers? Are you on laptops all day? No jobs? Are you all Are you all?
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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
My sibling passed away suddenly. We all struggle with it and family events can be a bit somber now. The fess I realise speaks volumes about me is that I no longer try half as hard as I used to on Mothers Day, turns out I was mostly really generous just to be the favourite.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Reposting my own shit every day all day. Not for the likes. Why would you think that.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
I'm not the dumbest person ever but when is it gonna be on again to fistfight and it's not on video and it isn't for glory but it's for community When did giving somebody a regular ass whooping become problematic. When did getting your ass kicked become national news.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
Rooting my phone to change the clock to microwave clock time. Punk.
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Melissa Gira Grant @melissagiragrant.com · 26/02/2026
To do this, anti-trans lawmakers in Kansas moved fast to change the law, overrode the governor’s veto, and pushed for the legal changes to go into effect nearly immediately. That kind of power—to void gender on official documents, to compel gender conformity—is terrifying and it will not stop here.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
Whennmm you do t like my post you win. Except.that one time.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
Remember that U2 album that just showed up on your phone and everyone was like this fucking sucks I didn't ask for this and even U2 fans were like this album sucks. That's Ai. Marketing before content. Fois Gras style. Expensive. Wait what???? The financier?? What files!
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Status Coup News @statuscoupnews.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
🚨"This is nuts! What the f*ck is going on, this is insane! ICE is just trying to scare people; they tell you it's only immigrants—it's f*cking anybody!" -furious Minneapolis resident tells our @zdroberts.bsky.social after ICE shot a man in the leg tonight. LIVE NOW ⬇️
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Having tech is rad but sometimes I miss my brain
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
If the shoe was on the other foot I would keep the band together. Your mom gets me. Low key.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
I wear shorts that go almost to my ankles and I pull my socks up to my knees and I'm in front of you at Safeway. Sucks to be you, foo.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
You don't remember that time I saw house of pain live but you think it's cool to argue about ice cream in the store? That's on you.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
Me, yesterday, in postal service voice in my mom's basement snorting horse tranquiizers for the last three weeks....🎶so this is the new year
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
No matter how straight I am the guys I fuck think I'm I'm gay So I guess Churchill was right. With that quote he said.
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Sometimes I can get mad that the modern, upright suitcase with a telescoping handle and wheels was introduced within my lifetime
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
I'm sure it's been said but joe rogan needs to go to any local UFC gym on film immediately
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Andy Kindler @andykindler.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
Thank you Tom! Source: Aspecialthing Records share.google/Cln7v6aVcPuS...
share.google
Andy Kindler - Hence the Humor
“Kindler comes shuffling out of the gate, complaining and kvetching and generally hating everything about his performance, the audience, his career, and comedy in general. I’ve listened to this twenty...
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
Imagine how gay you have to be
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Brian Merchant @bcmerchant.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
Spotify is garbage on every count: Its treatment of artists, its ICE advertising, the CEO's investment in military AI, its leading role in the commodification and AI slopification of music, its terrible audio quality—you name it. So I quit, and put together a complete guide to getting off Spotify:
bloodinthemachine.com
How to quit Spotify
This Black Friday, here's a guide to finding the best Spotify alternative
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
@andykindler.bsky.social I've never lied about liking your jokes. Not once.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
Bleep bloop, you nerds. Bleep fucking bloop.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
@jyotimishra.bsky.social I cannot get a couple of your songs out of my head. Looked through your website. Couldn't find what I was looking for but do you still produce. How much for 3 songs. Sorry for just asking like this.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
Great!! My entire fucking shit is barfed!!
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
James Bond witticisms. It's the thing, now. Just right now. Won't be later. Won't be in five minutes. But I never let a bandwagon pass me. No. No,I don't. I'm posting. No one can accuse me of not noticing. I'm someone.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
I didn't even know Jesus rapped til I died and woke up in mid-tier heaven. But he does, bro. Hes way cool. And the apartments in heaven are chill. Back then, mansions/streets of gold. But really just apartments and paved roads. Either way, Jesus can rap. That's the point.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
I died and went to heaven and Jesus showed me around to my spot which was pretty nice (not like preacher nice but still nice) and then when he left he smacked me on in the butt. Like wtf? Jesus balls?
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Am I stupid or could this post use a fucking label? Something. I'm lost.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
Just became the 25,647th person to like a quote from AOC three hours ago. Gonna sit back and nurse my cocoa til she responds. Won't be long now. Just sipping cocoa. Waiting. Trying to relax. So excited for zooban.
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Bits @bitshammer.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
If they're really tracking me online then how come men in black haven't tried to hire me based on how fucking sick I am at this new game I downloaded on my phone. I put up fucking numbers, kid. Watching TV, too.
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
oh no oh fuck i was trying to REQUEST a hundred and thirty million dollars from the pentagon
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
I would post more but openai just sent me a cd rom in the mail and now my racist girlfriend is explaining how zero people like me. I guess I'm just in love.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Not getting blocked enough. Might try slick maneuvers.
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TukTuk @coolysses.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Me throwing feces around a restaurant, super mad: This is what you fucking get, you fucking assholes! Them: sir this is a fucking Wendy's Me, incredibly embarrassed, holding a poo: My bad, I thought this was Arby's. Them: we totally get it. Them: we understand Guy pooping in the fryer: happens
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