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Evan Zasoski

@codenameevan.bsky.social
171 followers 350 following 546 posts

I write code in Durham, NC. It is nice. You should come to visit. Opinions here are my own. Likes might just be bookmarks.

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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Quickly! Feel joy before something else happens!
Generic ballot time series showing a surge in Democratic support.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“To be or not to be…. Fuuuuuuuck.”
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
It will never not be annoying that in the year of our Lord 2026, I have to just restart Chrome every few days because my computer is running like crap.
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Ranged Touch @rangedtouch.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Manwë told me Melkor keeps harrying the Firstborn of Ilúvatar so I asked how many Elves he has and he said he just goes to Middle-Earth and invites more Elves on the Great Journey so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding the Quendi to Morgoth and then Nienna started crying.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I am in no way letting ChatGPT off the hook here, but it is wild the degree to which the solution here is what it’s always been for important documents: if an assertion load bearing, check the citation.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
It’s true. Strictly speaking he was pushed by the higher pressure air in the cabin towards the window. So it’s fine.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Love it when I put my hands off the home keys, type gibberish and wonder if I’m having a stroke.
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CNN @cnn.com · 30/08/2026
Several baby goats at a mobile petting zoo in North Carolina were infected with rabies, and authorities are asking anyone who had contact with the animals to reach out to health officials. Rabies can be deadly if people don’t receive treatment before symptoms begin. cnn.it/4zJSsXl
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 28/08/2026
Really hate this performative "youse" people use to appear more like large hired goons
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Whenever white supremacy comes up (as it is wont to do lately), I spare a thought for the fact that if you told an ancient greek person that he had more in common with some pants-wearing barbarian from northern Europe than with the storied and ancient land of Egypt, he'd punch you in the mouth.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
It’s just a big database. Of course it’s discoverable.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I've had to use the phrase "What a fucking asshole" so many times today, I've needed to mix up the emphasis to keep is fresh.
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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Later he returns as Darth Flation. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/jedi PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
1-panel SMBC comic update. A circle of Jedi (including Yoda) looking uneasy surround another Jedi speaking in the center. The lecturing Jedi says "Look, whether the ruling class is officially good space-wizards or evil space-wizards doesn’t matter. know what predicts lower infant mortality and greater rights? Gross domestic product per capita." The caption below the comic reads "Later, the dark and light Jedis banded together to cast out the neoliberal faction."
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Dave Dellecese @davedellecese.com · 25/08/2026
Superman vs the prediction markets.
Panel from Superman 8 (1941). Man of Steel says “be wary of unscrupulous operators of gambling games - they are always on the lookout for unsuspecting victims!”
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
This sounds like a pretty reasonable rationale for firing someone. Just “you said you were working on X and we hired you to work on Y” is enough. That X is Advanced Hitler Studies and Y is How’s Liberalism Doin’ is kinda just icing.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Cool Priest, sitting backwards in chair: I’d like to see more games in churches that *haven’t* been desecrated.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
A real challenge of writing good documentation for complex systems is that there really is a degree of "mess with it until your head gets around it" to a lot of technical work, and planning for that is legit hard.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Dammit, @bencollins.bsky.social, I want my trenchant observations of the absurd to make me laugh, not stare mournfully into the middle distance!
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Pretty wild that in the Container era of software development I'm just regularly downloading and installing literal gigs of data every time I want to turn on my dev environment.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
My dog, asking to go into the back yard and then looking at me with betrayal in her eyes when I let her out but didn’t also want to go to the back yard.
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Slate @slate.com · 13/08/2026
There is no male loneliness crisis. What’s actually happening is so much darker. slate.trib.al/pQW2V1A
slate.trib.al
There Is No Male Loneliness Crisis. What’s Actually Happening Is So Much Darker.
The data tells a different story.
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Derf Backderf @derfbackderf.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
By Mike Luckovich. In Caroline Leavitt's case, she want to spend more time with her kids and her creepy uncle...er... husband.
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Maj @lif3asmaj.blacksky.app · 02/08/2026
This is deadass every republican campaign ad here in the south. I'm not even REMOTELY JOKING.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
If you’re ever curious what a high trust relationship looks like, today my wife saw a mosquito land on my cheek, SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE, and I was just like, “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for all this.”
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Nose Stuck in a Book Blog @nsiabblog.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I feel attacked #booksky
You’re doing a lot of scrolling for someone who has a book to read
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
I will never understand how a soggy pile of hand towels became more fancy-coded than an air dryer.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
“Do you remember when 21 years was old?” - Phoenix
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Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 22/07/2026
Does Not Rhyme -through -cough -though -rough -bough Does Rhyme -pony -bologna
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
The goal is not to make driving impossible, it’s to make other things possible as well. I want my daughter to be able to *cross the street* to get to her friend’s house a block and a half away.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Always a question of how long to sit politely before leaving the room when my stepdad turns on Fox News.
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Dan Sheehan @dansheehan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I don't want to be dramatic but when a loud car or motorcycle wakes a baby, the parents' phones should be sent a push notification that allows them to decide if the driver will live or die
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I support this and generally all movements towards making it socially painful to spit a little bit of bile into the world just for fun.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The Stephen King shared universe implies a world in which people spend the next century debating about what the Hell happened to rural Maine in the 1980s.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Fuck you and your purple underlines, Gmail.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Not Cowboy Maloney’s Electric City. ANYTHING but Cowboy Maloney’s Electric City! www.wlbt.com/2026/07/09/i...
wlbt.com
‘It was time’: Longtime Jackson retailer sold to Minnesota-based firm
Cowboy Maloney's opened in 1952 and has been serving the Metro area and Mississippi since.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I DO NOT WANT A CHAT WINDOW WITH AN AI TO TAKE UP A THIRD OF YOUR TOOL EVERY TIME I OPEN IT.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/07/2026
Don Carnegie, 53, was loved, but not $32-million-in-Bitcoin-ransom loved.
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memento lessi @itsrealkeenan.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
diagram showing the eyes receiving visual data (the abbreviation "USMNT") and the brain's output of the same data ("United States Mutant Ninja Turtles")
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Star Trek Minus Context @nocontexttrek1.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Star Trek The Next Generation scene. We're "on the D" and see Picard in red uniform sitting on the bridge in his captain's chair. Looks like he's stewing about something. (Pun intended) Closed caption reads, "("Stars and Stripes Forever" plays loudly)"
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Mikhail Gorbaechev @mikhailgorbaechev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Collins looks like a Bill Clinton rip-off character in a second tier Rockstar game.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Man, fuck this guy. www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
Trump earned over $1 billion on cryptocurrency and coin ventures last year
In almost 1,000 pages of financial disclosure forms, the president’s earnings from crypto, settlements and resorts far outpaced his $600 million total income in 2024.
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Pete Buttigieg @petebuttigieg.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
This week someone targeted my family for harm with a false report. We’re physically OK, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t harmed. I am beyond furious. Whatever your politics, this is awful, wrong, and can never become normal.
substack.com
A Terrible Thing Happened to My Family
Even in today's climate, there should be one fundamental principle everyone respects: whatever you think about someone in politics, you leave their kids alone.
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Amelia Showalter @ameliashowalter.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Last year my team and I built a high-powered model to predict legislative results in Texas. We just updated the model and now we're estimating a 5% chance that Democrats take the State House in 2026, and an additional 4% chance of a 75-75 tie. Small numbers, sure, but non-zero. #txleg #txpol
A graph showing a bell curve of possibilities for the Texas State House in the 2026 elections, as predicted by Pantheon Analytics. The center of the bell curve shows Democrats getting to 70 seats out of the 150-seat chamber, which would be an eight-seat pickup from the current partisan breakdown.

Predictions for Texas House 2026
Chance of 61 seats or fewer: 0.1%
Chance of 62 seats or more: 99.9%
Chance of 64 seats or more: 98.8%
Chance of 66 seats or more 93.8%
Chance of 68 seats or more: 79.8%
Chance of 70 seats or more: 56.7%
Chance of 72 seats or more: 31.9%
Chance of 74 seats or more: 14.1%
Chance of tied chamber: 3.8%
Chance of 76 seats or more: 4.7%
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/06/2026
7-Year-Old Has Seen Way Deeper Deep Ends theonion.com/7-year-old-has-seen-wa…
7-Year-Old Has Seen Way Deeper Deep Ends
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
The Cat Returns posits a novelty cat butler figurine was made with so much love that it was imbued with a soul by the very universe itself.
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Ketan Joshi @ketanjoshi.co · 20/06/2026
DON'T SHARE THIS, IT'S AI FABRICATED It's fake - the media outlet almost certainly used generative AI to write this and it pulled from a "parody" acct (www.instagram.com/p/DZu8trmR89Y/) The more you share this, the more you help the pro-AI bros say this is all fake www.youtube.com/live/ho_Zmwg...
It text
HEALTH SOENCE
WORLD
EVENTS
THE SPEAKERS BUREAU
SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM
THEPRINT STORE
FAKE AS HELL
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos says human wa consumption is limiting Al's potential
Skipping fears of mass unemployment Bezas used his VivaTech paper to argue that an a creates more tasks.
ve alt textbpd.news
 
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TECH-DRIVEN EVOLUTION: Jeff Bezos has ignited an intense online firestorm following a highly controversial stance on how global natural resources should be allocated in the age of artificial intelligence.

“We have to look at the macro-picture of our planet’s future,” Bezos reportedly stated during a recent tech symposium. “Biological limits are real, but digital potential is infinite. If we starve our data infrastructure of cooling resources just to sustain baseline human comfort, we are actively delaying the birth of a super-intelligence that could solve all of our resource problems in the first place. Sometimes you have to prioritize the intelligence that will save us over the biology that slows us down.”

The striking remarks have left the internet deeply divided, sparking fierce debate over whether the statement represents a chillingly pragmatic view of technological progress or a completely detached tech-utopian ideology.

#ai #aidatacenter #datacenter #jeffbezos #politics
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Brb, screaming.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Under the jail. www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
washingtonpost.com
Millions in Secret Service funds redirected amid ballroom construction
The unusually large shift comes amid revelations that the president’s ballroom project will rely more on taxpayer money than the administration acknowledged.
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Evan Zasoski @codenameevan.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Taking a moment to appreciate that when creating an external table in BigQuery, Google can recognize some but not all of their own URL formats for Drive files.
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