iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 21/09/2026

Stranded hyperdimensional traveler lamenting the loss of fifth spaces in our communities.

Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 19/09/2026

Everybody talks about “I love you” / “I know” from Star Wars, but nobody talks about “I love you” / “What?” from The Usual Suspects

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 24/08/2026

First time dining with us? We serve our meals dysfunctional family style. Eat as fast as you can, and if anybody mouths off, we throw a ceramic napkin holder at their head.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 14/08/2026

Welcome to the Training Dojo. One fighter enters. Ten fighters leave.

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

oh you guys are into something? i'm more of a nothing guy

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orcus @goblin.news · 07/08/2026

One day I imagine each of us will find a porch, deck, abandoned van, or gap in some eaves or awning that looks just right and we’ll know it’s time to crawl inside and become a new, inexplicable smell.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 31/07/2026

The longer I’m alive, the more sympathetic I feel toward individual humans and the less sympathetic I feel toward humans as a species. Or maybe it’s the other way around, hard to say.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 31/07/2026

Reachers have discovered a shockingly simple trick to get a group of strangers to instantly bond: just make them think they’re all about to die.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 28/07/2026

Our parents never bought us video games. They felt it was important for us to realize that we could never truly escape the torment of our material reality.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 27/07/2026

My online spiritual advisor is quitting to become a cult leader, but she did offer me three months of remote cult membership free if I sign up for a subscription.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 25/07/2026

Had to go no-contact with my parents. They can’t fuckin’ stand me.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 21/07/2026

It’s a classic fish-out-of-water story. Highly distressing, thankfully short.

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Wizard Student @studyeroftomes.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Sorry boss I haven't left for work yet, still waiting on a favorable wind

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 18/07/2026

Pouring water on different people at the neighborhood block party to see who’s a robot.

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🔫 climp @climp.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

my drowning coach says I have what it takes to go all the way to the bottom

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erick (display name haver) @ericktheblue.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

They're not doing anything to me tomorrow

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 13/07/2026

First day of prison. I walk up to the biggest guy there and perform "All That Jazz" from Chicago. Everyone cheers. The warden calls it "a triumph."

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 13/07/2026

Don’t slouch. I can’t protect you if you slouch.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 09/07/2026

carpool home in crowded clown car. 32 clown kids huddled around kitchen table sharing one custard pie. clown wife says clown college tuition bill going to collections. cries into her endless handkerchief. balloon dog yaps. big top gang wants red clown nose back or they’ll cut off my big clown shoes.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 08/07/2026

On to tonight’s top story. They’re calling it Internet, and it’s the latest craze amongst academics, kooks, pornography enthusiasts, and defense contractors.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 06/07/2026

[Young Dustin is happily watching TaleSpin on TV. Suddenly, the picture snaps to a middle-aged man doing online tech support.] Customer: My product isn’t working. Old Dustin: I’m sorry. Can you tell me what’s wrong so I can help you troubleshoot? Customer: No. [The TV cuts back to Baloo and Kit]

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 06/07/2026

Whoops, an overnight power surge interrupted the simulation. I‘m going to have to delete all of you and start over. Goodbye.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 30/06/2026

I won’t stand for it! I also won’t take it sitting down! I’m in a defiant lunge!

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 25/06/2026

Thrill-seekers who ride barrels over Niagara Falls are doing reputational damage to those of us who have to commute to work in a barrel.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 24/06/2026

At the end of the semester, the professor walked in to the lecture hall with a jar, some rocks, some pebbles, and some sand. “Life is like this jar,” he said. “You’re gonna wind up with a bunch of stupid rocks and sand in it.”

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 22/06/2026

[sitting in the back pew at church, hair slicked back, sunglasses, leather jacket] Yo, teach! We ain’t never gonna use transubstantiation in real life.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 22/06/2026

Young people! Do not do affected “bits” as a teenager. Otherwise, you will end up as a middle-aged person who says “sure thing” instead of “no problem” and “so long” instead of “see ya later.”

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 22/06/2026

See ya later, defibrillator.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 22/06/2026

The villagers are pooling their millet and gourds to hire the Ghostbusters to extirpate the zeitgeist from their community.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 20/06/2026

I just heard about a cat who inherited ten million dollars. That’s absurd. A cat should be happy with one million dollars.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 19/06/2026

The city arborist just came by and sprayed a blaze orange “X” on my torso. I think that means they’re gonna fell me tomorrow.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 18/06/2026

“There must be a reckoning. A price must be paid.” - dramatic waiter

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 15/06/2026

Your review said “extremely rude,” but I think you just meant “rude.” It was a normal amount of rudeness. Rudeness can get a lot more extreme than what you experienced.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 15/06/2026

Meet me at the Ken Avery Memorial Birding Terrace.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 14/06/2026

Oh, you only got into this band after they became popular? That’s cute. I was into them before they were any good at all.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 12/06/2026

[Studying an abstract painting on the wall of a waiting room] Oh, I’ve been there

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 11/06/2026

They’re putting me in a group chat until I’m mature enough to chat on my own.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 11/06/2026

It's getting crazy in there! I'm in so many group chats! I have so many friends! So many inside jokes and I'm in on all of them! I am want for nothing in this life! It doesn't look like I've been crying does it?! It shouldn't! I'm in so many group chats! Why would I be crying if that were the case?!

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 11/06/2026

The grocery store moved an item I need to a different aisle and now my character animation is looping as I keep looking for it in the old spot.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 11/06/2026

In high school I was voted most likely to rig an election.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 10/06/2026

Captcha: Are you alone? Me: Uh. Yeah. Captcha: Kiss all the squares with butts in them. Me: What?! Captcha: You heard me. Me: [leans in to kiss the squares with butts in them] Captcha: LMFAO OMG I can't believe you did that

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 08/06/2026

I’m not picky. I just want to die on a hill.

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🔫 climp @climp.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

Every week I generate more and more trash but it’s never enough for those insatiable garbage men

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 05/06/2026

When you email me, the terms “ASAP,” “urgent,” and “at your earliest convenience” have no meaning. They’re grammatical garnish. I do not consume them. You may as well say “hmm” or “um” into the air as you type. You may as well emit a dissatisfied grunt.

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 04/06/2026

I like to schedule all my meetings in the morning. That way, my afternoon is free for impromptu meetings, or free if my morning meetings go long, or free if someone forgot to invite me to an afternoon meeting and needs me to hop on real quick, or free in case I need to go to the basement to scream.

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Busiaco @busia.co · 03/06/2026

Wise Man: I prefer not to explore my philosophies too deeply, in case they turn out to be wrong.

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Busiaco @busia.co · 03/06/2026

Wise Man: Advice? Eh... I don't know. Everyone's situation is different...

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Dustin ⛆✈︎ @chemtrail.club · 03/06/2026

Trying to impress the librarian by asking for a book by its ISBN.

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