Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 11hYou're telling me the rabbit's name was Buster?! Get real. 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Idea for a murder mystery porno called "The Slot Thickens" 010
Reposted by Carpe Denimputawomanincharge.bsky.social @putawomanincharge.bsky.social · 11/10/2026 205100121493
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Do professional women's athletes grow a "playoff beard"? and by "beard", I mean bush. 🧐 110
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I present my new reaction photo for any mild inconvenience I may encounter: 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026An unignorably sexy picture of a plesiosaur. We'll call it Lapras. 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I now rank among the global elite with unwaveringly good taste 💅 @beetlemoses.bsky.social 0582
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Nobody's wife is safe at the farmer's market. Not when Barb is manning the peach stand. Which is what she calls going down on your wife. 000
Reposted by Carpe DenimFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Me: If Hulk Hogan got cloned would they call him Hulk Hoagain? Interviewer: I meant questions about the job 59939
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Sneezing so hard that you briefly see God. And she's pissed. 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I'm eating an irresponsibly, morally reprehensible sized corn dog this week. Stick and all. 020
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Not enough wearable dishware in these here parts 😒 021
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Shave that big toe, girl, we're going to the fancy gas station tonight 👑 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026"Hey, I called you for assistance with this thing." "Okay, do this." "No, Im doing something different. Now I'm angry at you." 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Homeward Bound 3: The Incredible Journey of 6 shots deep Jessica (who lost her friends and her phone moving between bars) 000
Reposted by Carpe DenimDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/10/2026*flicks cigarette* yeah i know the muffin man 1560159
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Don't wash your balls before Scuba diving, so the whales don't swallow you again. 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026My @beetlemoses.bsky.social book will be here tomorrow morning!! 🥹 010
Reposted by Carpe Denimʟʊʟʊ ȶɦɛ ɢɦօֆȶ (ɮɨʀɖ ʍօɖɛ) @soundwave187.bsky.social · 09/10/2026static.klipy.comGremlin Bride in Wedding DressAlt: Gremlin Bride in Wedding Dress 3226
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026So did the Beast use a human toilet or did Belle make him squat in the yard? 100
Reposted by Carpe Denim🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Dearest lover, timing is our bitter enemy. If we should find our way back to one another, if we should be able to realize our fate, if we should survive this parting of a million cuts, meet me at 17531104
Reposted by Carpe Denimmolly @bugmom.bsky.social · 07/10/2026how it feels when you finally decide to look for a new job 0563
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Trebek might have been the oldest of all the Alexes and now we have to start all over 120
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Reading ad copy for viagra in the gender neutral bathroom produces mixed emotions 010
Reposted by Carpe DenimSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I didn't choose the thug life, it chose me. Just kidding, I came in late to career day and it was the only thing left. 517060
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 08/10/2026The stud in camo cargo shorts at the grocery store was wearing the same hiking shoes as me. 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I want Mark Summers to feed me pumpkin pie while he tells me deep cut Double Dare stories 000
Reposted by Carpe DenimTiny @telephonesis.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Making relatable observations is cool because people will be like “hey I noticed that too” 1191
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Stumbled into the blumpkin patch by mistake and you won't believe what's going on out there 😳 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I went to Garfield-con and all I got was pregnant 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Laying down wet playing cards because I got a royal gush 🤴 010
Reposted by Carpe DenimSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Even if you've only done the Macarena once, you're still a carrier 27572182
Reposted by Carpe Denimϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 02/10/2026call me a nature valley bar the way I'm crumbling 210143
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 02/10/2026The wet has returned. Just in time for your various outdoor recreations. A pity... 010
