Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 15hYou're telling me the rabbit's name was Buster?! Get real. 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Idea for a murder mystery porno called "The Slot Thickens" 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 12/10/2026But then they say "Bush league" to mean bad? Much to consider... 000
Reposted by Carpe Denimputawomanincharge.bsky.social @putawomanincharge.bsky.social · 11/10/2026 205101161506
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Do professional women's athletes grow a "playoff beard"? and by "beard", I mean bush. 🧐 110
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I'll risk a knife gash below the knee to punt that little fucker into the sun ☀️ leave the trivago teeth, ya lil pokemon reject 110
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I present my new reaction photo for any mild inconvenience I may encounter: 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026What's my tell? I need to look good for a party later 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026An unignorably sexy picture of a plesiosaur. We'll call it Lapras. 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I now rank among the global elite with unwaveringly good taste 💅 @beetlemoses.bsky.social 0582
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Nobody's wife is safe at the farmer's market. Not when Barb is manning the peach stand. Which is what she calls going down on your wife. 000
Reposted by Carpe DenimFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Me: If Hulk Hogan got cloned would they call him Hulk Hoagain? Interviewer: I meant questions about the job 59939
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026With the flash of a gorlockian grin, they said the skies turned to blue from grey, as ol' Mr. Putin's heart grew three sizes that day 💓💗💖 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Sneezing so hard that you briefly see God. And she's pissed. 010
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I'm eating an irresponsibly, morally reprehensible sized corn dog this week. Stick and all. 020
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Not enough wearable dishware in these here parts 😒 021
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026The Harvest draws nearer, bröther. We must make schloeppeling to appease the Muellenfụschen in hopes of a handsome yield for the coming walpurgisnacht 110
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Shave that big toe, girl, we're going to the fancy gas station tonight 👑 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026"Hey, I called you for assistance with this thing." "Okay, do this." "No, Im doing something different. Now I'm angry at you." 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Homeward Bound 3: The Incredible Journey of 6 shots deep Jessica (who lost her friends and her phone moving between bars) 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I think I saw her getting on a train to Albuquerque 000
Reposted by Carpe DenimDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/10/2026*flicks cigarette* yeah i know the muffin man 1561160
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Don't wash your balls before Scuba diving, so the whales don't swallow you again. 000
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Can I volunteer? Ive always wanted to set off a movement 020
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026My @beetlemoses.bsky.social book will be here tomorrow morning!! 🥹 010
Reposted by Carpe Denimʟʊʟʊ ȶɦɛ ɢɦօֆȶ (ɮɨʀɖ ʍօɖɛ) @soundwave187.bsky.social · 09/10/2026static.klipy.comGremlin Bride in Wedding DressAlt: Gremlin Bride in Wedding Dress 3226
Carpe Denim @carpedenim.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Hobnobbing with Hobgoblins watching Hobbes & Shaw behind Hobby Lobby 000
