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Brian Shea

@brianshea.org
591 followers 516 following 1.7K posts

improv comedian, content creator, jackass of all trades highwireimprov.com brianshea.org brianshea.substack.com

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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 07/09/2026
Coyote vs. Acme is the greatest piece of entertainment, history and self help ever created.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 07/09/2026
Adding my contribution to the kitty on Labor Day
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 07/09/2026
"That shot needed a curl. A soft curl, not a jheri curl." - announcer of a St. Kitts and Nevis league soccer match on FIFA+
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/09/2026
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (The fact that I just turned 58 and would love to retire early has NOTHING to do with this)
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 25/08/2026
I was behind a car today that had a Don't Tread on Me sticker and a British flag sticker. I have so many questions.
static.klipy.com
Meaghan Rath as Astrid: Pick A Side
ALT: Meaghan Rath as Astrid: Pick A Side
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 16/08/2026
It would be so simple to enact a rule about who gets to grab the ball out of the net after a goal. So fucking simple to stop these children.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 16/08/2026
Watford training ground has no trees
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 16/08/2026
It's almost as if Southampton doesn't know what to expect! lol
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/08/2026
Karoline Leavitt Slams Toddler Son Over Baseless Accusations That Caterpillar Very Hungry theonion.com/karoline-leavitt-slams…
Karoline Leavitt Slams Toddler Son Over Baseless Accusations That Caterpillar Very Hungry
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 13/08/2026
Said that recently to a (non-Baltimore) group for something far less troublesome. But I was not about to be misunderstood. Love the fewer fucks I have getting older.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 13/08/2026
I don't just get more Ted Lasso, I get more Allison Hammond? Fuck, yeah.
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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
An American interviewer asked me about my political beliefs. #VoteBinface
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Taskmaster Education @taskmasteredu.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
As we get older, worrying about what others think can get in the way of creativity, risk-taking and learning. Taskmaster Club says: Be silly. Get it wrong. Think differently. Work together. Have fun. 👉 Bring Taskmaster Club to your school and see what your pupils can do.
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Dan Why-Ner @danweiner.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Brittany Apgar who was born small right forearm, half of a palm and no fingers on her right hand and had 12 surgeries by the age of 4 got a new prosthetic this week and went 2-4 with an RBI in her Women's Pro Baseball League debut tonight (as a batter, pinch ran in the opener).
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 06/08/2026
And, for the record, I read one positive review which spent far too much real estate on the people who made hating Ted Lasso their personality and then remembered that I don't need permission to like what I like or praise for following my own tastes. You do you. Just don't shit on people's joy.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 06/08/2026
My "favorite" part about the return of Ted Lasso is all the critics who can't wait to tell people why they shouldn't like Ted Lasso even though a lot of people love Ted Lasso.
static.klipy.com
Bold Strategy Cotton - Dodgeball
ALT: Bold Strategy Cotton - Dodgeball
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/08/2026
The trade paralysis is such a weight on this team. They see fans still loving guys like Markakis and Mancini and fear they will trade away a future fan favorite.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/08/2026
"But these guys will make you win in the future" after a .652 July is gaslighting.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/08/2026
static.klipy.com
Michael Scott (Steve Carell) Says Thank You
ALT: Michael Scott (Steve Carell) Says Thank You
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
An utterly absurd pass from Chelsea Gray
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We're just normal men @wejustinnocentmen.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
We’re just normal men
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/08/2026
static.klipy.com
Charlie Day's Pepe Silvia Conspiracy
ALT: Charlie Day's Pepe Silvia Conspiracy
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 04/08/2026
We are being told that they aren't giving up on this year, yet not one person they got will be a meaningful contributor and we lost 3-4 guys who played/pitched regularly. I like analytics, but when they are used to gaslight me time and time again, I've got other interests in life.
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
Jennifer 🍄
@JenYetAgain@beige.party
in 2017 a popular twitter game was to type a partial phrase then see what your phone auto-completes it with.

this proved so popular that it is now the only business model in the US.
Feb 9, 2026 at 4:35:18 PM
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
Or at least trade them at the deadline for someone who can help right now for a change. That is what infuriates me. But I am on team #keepgreatplayers
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
static.klipy.com
The Wire: Makes Me Sick, Bunk
ALT: The Wire: Makes Me Sick, Bunk
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
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Dr. Creed Willems, PhD @nafer.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
i mean lol
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Dr. Creed Willems, PhD @nafer.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
Mike Elias (2023) Mike Elias (2024) Mike Elias (2025) Mike Elias (2026)
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
Niche crossover post
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
I don't want "a good return." I want this team that has so much talent and is close to a wild card to fucking win games the next two months.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
A downgrade at catcher and four guys who may never play for the team. What a fucking irresponsible clown.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
Yes, once again trading a guy who is good now for a guy who should be good in a few years is going to make us feel better.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 03/08/2026
Mind numbingly stupid
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The Dishwasher (a baseball blog) @thedishwasher.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Mike Elias has traded the Orioles only all star at 3 of the last 5 deadlines
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Eize Basa @eizebasa.baby · 03/08/2026
Just overheard this in the hotel lobby and it killed me. GUY: [inexplicably bragging about how he doesn't need to use deodorant that often] A stick can last me like two years. WOMAN: [bored] Crazy. Are you taking the cap off?
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 28/07/2026
AND NOW MY BROTHER IN CHRIST COBY MAYO
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 28/07/2026
ONE MORE TIME
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 25/07/2026
As Jesus intended
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 22/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Haley Joel Osment: I See Dead People
ALT: Haley Joel Osment: I See Dead People
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 22/07/2026
"How about therapy?" "What if I made an album about how people are fucking stupid if they don't accept my shittiness?"
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Molly Knight @mollyknight.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Everyone who lives and dies by this sport is sick. This is sick.
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 15/07/2026
My favorite team won
static.klipy.com
Bill Hader: In a Word, Chaos
ALT: Bill Hader: In a Word, Chaos
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Brian Shea @brianshea.org · 15/07/2026
static.klipy.com
George Costanza: Was That Wrong? Should I Not Have Done That?
ALT: George Costanza: Was That Wrong? Should I Not Have Done That?
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
the World Cup final will be between two teams that Cape Verde played even through 90 minutes
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Aisle424 Has Fallen @aisle424.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
So who the hell did I just have a 20 minute phone conversation with?
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ghost malone ergo propter bones @proptermalone.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
sometimes you get two bags of chips out of the vending machine I guess
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Giraud, basically @giraud.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I just had a 20 minute phone call with Lindsey Graham and he said he likes the ladies in a normal, sexy way
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