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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz

@bigtittygarfield.bsky.social
652 followers 69 following 9.8K posts

im 50; ungender woman [ ze•r•self // вони ] 👇 my art • music • newrotica (21+) archive.org/details/@melodyjane69

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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 4h
i'm scared from all the fun i'm having, sweet deal in life ;'3
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
running freeeee 🎶 running freeeee 🎶 running faaaaaaggot 🎶
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
watching a Doug Stanhope special from 2002 and, like...he's pretty based for a total skeeze. Talking about how butt-fucking men should be revered, "homosexuality is completely underrated in this society"
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
a pollen covered bee butt in a purple flower, little legs hanging over the edge.another bumblebee butt in a different purple flower.a bumblebee with their little head pushing in a purple and white flower.an upside-down blumblebee in a daisy.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Robert Pattison as Chris Hansen: Have a seat over here. Robert Pattison as Edward Cullen: uhhhhhhh
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you could basically replace David Byrne in a concert with a stupid rooster and people wouldn't catch on for the first 2 hours.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
the Sega Leviticus had some fucked up games.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
the Sega Leviticus had some fucked up games.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i wanna meet a bro like "I've got a thing for feet" and it's his 200 mold-casts of potential sasquatch footprints in his garage.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i've got a thing for gals who don't know what to do with their hands; who want me?
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Larry Fine of the Three Stooges in the Boromir meme, text reads; One does not simply walk into more doors.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
one thing I learned from living in shelters is that they do not block access to @archive.org's dirth of vintage vhs porn. repost to save a life.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Larry Fine of the Three Stooges in the Boromir meme, text reads; One does not simply walk into more doors.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
who wants to come to my Chicken Nintenders party? they're the dino nuggets and the dino games :D
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"wait, they're making hitler a disney princess ????" - my biting satire on the state of the world.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
the health + safety department are the friends who blocked us along the way <3
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 02/10/2026
Still the absolute funniest "trailer remix" ever made -- as well as one of the very first of its kind, debuting in 2005 Every shot is perfectly chosen God I could watch this all day
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jam @socialistboat.dad · 01/10/2026
Caffeine doesn't replace lost hours of sleep, it only masks the fatigue signals to your brain so you don't realize how tired you actually are. You still suffer the cognitive and physiological deficits from the sleep deficiency, you just can't tell. Which is good actually and fine I've decided
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
a women's butthole always knows ;3
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
this is so fuckin' hot, i hope @aaron.bsky.team pounds me in the fuckin' ass while calling me slurs i've never heard of before as i "take the little doggy for a walk"
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
stand-up comics if donald trump was a woman: more like Orange Bush Jr.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
me, frothing mad about a joke I saw online with nobody to talk to about it in real life so i post through it instead: some stand-up comedians...need to sit down!!!
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
anyone who relates to this title should consider spooling it up <3 boxd.it/gxQwSD
boxd.it
A ★★★★★ review of I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017)
Lynskey and Wood are dynamite together in this film of an unlikely duo pairing up to "avenge thy neighbour" The comedy is driven by character complexity, honesty from the actors, and a damn fine scrip...
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised... – Gil Scott-Heron
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
onions
kitchen counter covered in halved onions.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
only keep one adaptation;
My Own Private Idaho
dir. Gus Van Sant
feat. Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix.10 Things I Hate About You
feat. Julia Stiles w Heath Ledger.Romeo + Juliet
dir. Baz Luhrman
feat. Clair Danes w. DicaprioThrone of Blood
dir. Akira Kurosawa
feat. Toshiro Mifune.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
i fucked up my onion stock... can I get a 'there there' 😥 ?
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
there's no top shortage, we're just sick of you chanting "Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond!" right before getting fucked.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
i measure my wealth in knowing that, should a fire break out in the house, i would grab my 10lb bag of onions and my 10lb bag of onions alone.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
'neo-pronouns' are a lot like juicing in professional baseball; it's a way better game to watch, and cowardly people argue it shouldn't be allowed advantages.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Phantom of the Operation Room (you work out the rest of the joke)
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Noctiflora 🌪️ @noctifloraa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I made a go-fund me to help cover the cost of replacing my professor/parachute rigger work tools. Anything helps. I will also put a venmo option in the comment below too. gofund.me/27da8ec40
gofund.me
Donate to Support Sophia After Vehicle Break-In and Theft, organized by Sophia Noir
Help Sophia replace her stolen professor work gear and car repair fees a… Sophia Noir needs your support for Support Sophia After Vehicle Break-In and Theft
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
'neo-pronouns' are a lot like juicing in professional baseball; it's a way better game to watch, and cowardly people argue it shouldn't be allowed advantages.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
do i have to have gone through world wars one and two to really appreciate WW3?
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
🎵 what's crueler than being cruel? (ice-o-lated)
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
utilizing AI to free-up my workload by relegating important tasks such as transforming my stupid normal face into the stupid graven image of a by-product god.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you could basically replace David Byrne in a concert with a stupid rooster and people wouldn't catch on for the first 2 hours.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
do i have to watch numbers 1 to 22 to really enjoy the number 23? or will i innately understand the hidden message intended for me (and me alone)??
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
get in [bitch], we're [dying on this hill]
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
incredibly disappointed that i flower-power moshed at the punk show last night (moshing barefoot) and *nobody* stamped my toes 🤬
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026
[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
#1 Chancellor Velorum Apologist.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
i haven't 'subscribed' to any 'channel' ever since TBS became dishonest.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
it's clear you don't abide by the 'horse rules' of life.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
my new year's resolution is November 12th. that's my neo-year, suck it.
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Jared Gonia @jaredgonia.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I'm glad nervous laughter is an option because constant screaming would get annoying.
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
you can't spell 'evangelista' without 'vaginal steel'
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
James Brown singing "Living in America" with a dancing robot on the stage. youtu.be/2kfhdKgjDZA?...
youtu.be
James Brown - Living In America - 1/26/1986 - Ritz (Official)
YouTube video by James Brown on MV
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🎶 Maudlin Schmalz @bigtittygarfield.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
i don't think book-banning groups push hard enough...let's get rid of the entire fiction section. I can't believe librarians have a whole category dedicated to lies and "make-em-ups"
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