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Andrew Rendel
@andrewrendel.bsky.social
272 followers 1.4K following 352 posts
Live in Lewisham, work in climate/cleantech finance. Hardcore centrist dad.
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm)
![[Scene is a guy with beard and glasses reading a poetry book in a pub. A screen showing football is behind him]
PRESENTER [TALKING TO CAMERA]:
It's a harrowing sight.
An unsporty person, trying to adjust to a world of sport.
[Show everybody else in the pub watching the World Cup on the screen].
But at one rehab centre in East London, there is hope.
[Cut to interior of a SPORTS HALL. The Presenter is showing us round as coaches try to throw balls towards bookish-looking patients].
PRESENTER:
Here, the chronically sports-repellant are given the skills they need to integrate into society.
[We see a woman in a cardigan waiting for the ball to be thrown at her to catch]
[She stand unmoving as it bounces of her forehead]
COACH:
Nearly
[Cut to a to-camera interview with a UNSPORTINESS THERAPIST, sat next to a pot plant and on the wall are framed pictures of different types of ball with directional instructions - a tennis ball - HIT - a football - KICK - a rugby ball - THROW].
THERAPIST:
We have seen a sharp spike in admissions this summer
People come to us suffering the long term effects of being goths, studying arts degrees or just being shit at P.E.
We try to coach all our patients in basic rules and banter skills.
[Cut to a coach in tracksuit sat at the bar in a pub, on the stool next to him is the same poetry-reading bloke we saw earlier].
GUY:
"Ooh he's hit the woodworm...
COACH:
Woodwork.
THERPIST [V/O]:
And when you see them reintegrate. it just makes it all worthwhile.
[The guy again, still reading poetry while all the other people look at the football, reacting to a missed goal opportunity]
EVERYBODY IN PUB:
OOOOH
GUY [a beat late]:
Ooh... woodworm.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie3dswiesz6z7dvxadltu7gpoql3f4ak4b3s52ieumamvsl34jlyu)
