Andrew Bowden 🐀
@andrewbowden.me.uk
167 followers 54 following 4.6K posts
Found where the Metropolitan Elite gather. Mostly Mancunian, bit Londoner, pos British, definitely European. Brews own beer. Likes the radio. Swims too much. All views mine, and only mine. He/Him. #RatVerified.
![[Opening scene is WESTMINSTER, LONDON. Over Downing Street a huge ALIEN SPACECRAFT hovers, silent, still, filling the whole sky a la Independence Day].
[Cut to INSIDE 10 DOWNING STREET. The (then) prime Minister DAVID CAMERON is looking out of his office window at the ship.]
VOICE FROM OFF-SCENE, BEHIND CAMERON:
Prime Minister…
CAMERON [addressing the person behind him, still keeping his eyes fixed ahead in dread at the spaceship]:
Yes?
[We see the speaker is MICHAEL GOVE, then Education Secretary]:
GOVE:
Let me do it.
CAMERON:
For God's sake, Michael, you're the Education Secretary! You've never flown a fighter plane in your life!
GOVE:
But I know I could do it, David. I could fly a fighter plane into the big space- ship...
...and shoot all the aliens.
CAMERON:
But you have no military training!
GOVE:
David
I haven't told you this, but...
I used to be a journalist. For The Times.
[Cameron reacts, turning to look at Gove with awe and respect, as if only now truly seeing him for the first time].
GOVE:
I wrote two articles about planes, David.
I've got strong opinions about aliens.
I know I can do this job.
[Cut to a title card panel]:
AND SO:
[Then cut again to Cameron on the roof of Number 10, watching a Michael Gove pilot a fighter jet up towards the spacecraft, and then completely miss it, careering towards Earth, as Cameron buries his face in his hands].
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreictdw36myuavccr5oqqgsfb2jzkicnjrxhcexhned7ux7ws6oq5ny)
