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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 23h

Seasonal familial estrangement is already in the air at Tell Your Cat I Said... so don't miss tomorrow's advice about a shitty dead uncle and telling your overzealous husband to fuck off! Subscribe at www.allmydeadcats.com for your weekly reading pleasure!

allmydeadcats.com

Tell Your Cat I Said...

Empathetic, friendly, and informative advice for pet guardians making end-of-life choices.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 28/09/2026

My advice column is weekly and always free! Need advice on grief, loss, and related matters for all species? Hit me up 👇

allmydeadcats.com

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 23/09/2026

I get a lot of challenging advice questions, but this one took a lot of drafts and thinking through; out of order deaths are so hard to talk about, especially when you are mourning a death AND family members' experience of that death, too.

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AmyRey @amyrey3.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

This one is timely for me! Just received a kidney from a deceased donor and need to write the family a letter.

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Cassie 🥞🍗 kween, expert opinion giver, super-duper genius, sigma @kweencassie.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I want y'all to go heavy with my meat shits posts.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 02/09/2026

This week's advice: A reader grateful for a heart transplant also mourns the life of the stranger who gave them an incredible gift. How do you grieve in this situation...and should you reach out to the donor's family?

allmydeadcats.com

How do I handle grieving for a stranger?

I'm literally carrying someone else's heart. Should I reach out to my donor's family to thank them? And how can I possibly write that letter?

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 26/08/2026

Up this week: A reader's family is fighting over what to do with their dead uncle's social media accounts, an object lesson to all of us to make plans for our social media upon our demise.

allmydeadcats.com

Cleaning up the social media graveyard

Half of us want to leave my uncle's social media up as a memorial. The other half want to take it down.

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Jay @jaybiiird.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

oof, an important one especially considering one of my three cats spent his first ten years with a friend. He lives with me now, because they left the country and international flights for a senior kitty are less than ideal. Luckily he's in good health right now.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 17/08/2026

Have death, grief, and end-of-life questions for any species? You can submit a question to my weekly advice column! Nothing is too weird (I promise) and this is a judgment-free zone.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 12/08/2026

I love questions like this—navigating the way our identities interact with grief and how we communicate about death can get so complicated. Sometimes you just want to be able to say 'my girlfriend died' and not have to do poly 101.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 10/08/2026

Tell Your Cat I Said... comes out weekly! You can submit advice columns about end-of-life decisions, grief, talking about death, and anything else on your mind (including questions about humans!) right here.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 24/07/2026

ICYMI: When it comes to participating in euthanasia, you have a lot of options.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 21/07/2026

I’ve spent six years working on it, and next week, my book on grief, American culture, who is allowed to mourn and how, and whether we can take up grief as a collective project will be unleashed on the world! Do yourself (and me) a favor and preorder now.

bookshop.org

All My Dead Cats and Other Losses: Practicing Good Grief in a Culture That Fears Mourning

"Both a grief book that doesn't read like a clinician's notes and a memoir wrapped around a bigger subject, All My Dead Cats takes grief from the taboo to the universal." — BooklistHave you suffered a...

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celli @aliascelli.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

#animaldeath #petdeath I found this to be a tough read because it's definitely a thing I worry about, but it gave me a bunch of options I didn't know I had. And it's written with all the compassion and care for both pets and humans.

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Laurel Krahn @windowseat.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Good advice in here (I didn't know some of this). Still kind of messed up over not really getting to say goodbye to Isbjorn or Ibsen (and this on the heels of not getting that with my folks and since then of course losing Kevin). (Maybe I need memorials for all of them.)

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Jenny with a Green Ribbon Around Her Neck @readingtheend.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

this is great advice. I was able to be present with my dog and my cat for euthanasia, but to this day it makes me cry thinking about it. it's very, very fucking hard and sad, and it is okay if you need to seek accommodations to make it a little more bearable for yourself.

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Khonri 🫜 @khonri.com · 22/07/2026

I still think about Hela often, especially now with Roku being a diagnosed Old Man that doesn't act like it (so hopefully it'll be quite a while before I have to think about this again). This article is... good food for thought and options we probably don't consider during those stressful episodes.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 22/07/2026

Many people feel really conflicted about being present for euthanasia. There are lots of ways to navigate whether you want to be there and how much you want to be involved!

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 22/07/2026

This week's advice: A reader wrote in about how intense and upsetting it was to be present for euthanasia, and wondering whether there's a better way to do this in the future.

allmydeadcats.com

Would I be letting my cat down if I didn't stay in the room for her euthanasia?

Being present, or not, at euthanasia can be a tough decision, but you should know you have a lot of options.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 08/07/2026

This week's column! Great question, especially in an era where so many of us are moving all the time because we're all facing rent that's too damn high and constant job changes/relocations under capitalism.

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Tristan Crane @tcrane.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

I currently am navigating my 16 year old cat who has kidney disease, dealing with ALL of the feelings; much appreciation for this column discussing pet loss, decision making, and the grief process. My heart has broken so many times while caring for my pets but I'm also so grateful for their lives.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 24/06/2026

This week's advice column just dropped!

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Goldstein (still not a pseudonym) @goldstein.latinsky.app · 17/06/2026

I did not end up adopting her, but after losing my cat, I wound up fostering a pregnant cat through weird circumstances (and eventually her 5 children as well) and that helped me tremendously. All six now enjoy good homes.

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Adam @itsnotmeadam.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

Close to my heart again. I would love to have a cat again but I am not in a place where I could handle it dying.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 17/06/2026

Up today: A reader who is thinking that they are maybe ready to adopt a cat after losing a beloved companion last year. Read about how to ease into that process while simultaneously navigating everyone telling you to "get another one."

allmydeadcats.com

How do I tiptoe into adopting a cat after loss?

I have some low-stress suggestions for exploring the possibility of adopting a cat without feeling like you're at a used car lot.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 15/06/2026

Need advice or information on pet end-of-life care and related matters? Submit a question right here!

allmydeadcats.com

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How to submit a question to Tell Your Cat I Said...

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 10/06/2026

'Sometimes the best way to express love is to know when to open that kennel door and watch a pet walk out into the arms of a person who will honor, care for, and spend the rest of their life with them.' Read more from me about volunteering and fostering...

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Martha Smith @mostlymartha.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

This is an extremely good question! Thank you @allmydeadcats.com!

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 09/06/2026

Working on this week's advice column, which is about life, not death, for a change! Subscribe so you don't miss it when it runs tomorrow...

allmydeadcats.com

Tell Your Cat I Said...

Empathetic, friendly, and informative advice for pet guardians making end-of-life choices.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 03/06/2026

Seriously though this is a question I am asked CONSTANTLY and I rounded up some good resources in this column!

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Andrea Grimes @andreagrimes.com · 02/06/2026

y'all @sesmith.lol is writing a newsletter about end of life pet stuff and i promise you will be better for subscribing now and reading it before you ever think you need it

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Suzi @suzisteffen.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Man, this is good. The JOURNEYS tool just helped me think about our blind and very loud 18-y-o kitty.

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Adam @itsnotmeadam.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Sensitively handled, as you'd expect.

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Tell Your Cat I Said... @allmydeadcats.com · 02/06/2026

Tomorrow's advice from @sesmith.lol is a frequent request: What the hell are quality of life tools, where do you find them, and how do you use them? Subscribe (it's free!) so you don't miss it!

allmydeadcats.com

Tell Your Cat I Said...

Empathetic, friendly, and informative advice for pet guardians making end-of-life choices.

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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 27/05/2026

Participating in euthanasia—even when it's the most compassionate, gentle ending—can be really scary to think about. But that fear, and care, are exactly that things that will make for a compassionate veterinarian. Read the rest of my advice for more on vetmed, euthanasia, and caring for ourselves.

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