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Lemon

@ahoylemon.xyz
154 followers 106 following 150 posts

I do things to the internet. It does things to me as well.

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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 3h
When was the last time you won a Supreme Court case? And why isn't the answer "today"? kinda.fun/court
kinda.fun
Supreme Court: The Card Game
The single player game about meddling with the law. Because if justice isn't fair, at least it should be fun!
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 4h
I'm on the 4 and playing one of my favorite bus games: Which one of these people is the piss smell coming from?
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
To make things interesting, dress up as Margaret Thatcher and scream “The rhythm method truly is the best way.”
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Our readers suggest this one: Hide the supersoldier serum in his dinner. When he finds it, dump a Gatorade container of lube on him to congratulate him!
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Gwenevere Nutskin writes “My sweetie gets turned on when I show him all my favorite speedruns of games in the Bubsy series. Maximum fun!”
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Dress up in your sexiest lingerie and whisper “Today I'm going to roleplay as someone cares about you.”
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 28/08/2026
This is my favorite one all week
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 23/08/2026
I'm not sure how that's possible when Dr Dre hasn't "created music" since 2005.
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
“When I bend you over the bed, offer my heart up to Quetzalcoatl. It shows me how much you care.” -F. Murray, 25
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
When he's not looking, grab his penis and glue a small toupee on the tip.
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Sen. Lemon Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
you knew this would happen as soon as we allowed them to have knife guns
NYPD fatally shoots man with butcher knife
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 18/08/2026
I'm pretty sure they sell those at Spencer's Gifts now.
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Okay uh put his penis in your mouth?
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 15/08/2026
How the FUCK is this a font????
"Fresh cut vegetables", written in the worst typeface I have ever seen"Fresh cut fruit", written in the worst typeface I have ever seen
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Ditch the missionary! Put your legs out the window and your hands over his eyes. Now lay perfectly still until he forgets you're in the room. How transcendental!
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Want to give him the time of his life? Livestream his perinium until he hands over the microfiche.
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Great Sex Tips! @greatsextips.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Scare his penis from its warren and use a caliper and compare the shaft circumference to the national average.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 12/08/2026
I made a bot.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 27/07/2026
Oh good, I found a place to put your "constructive feedback".
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 17/07/2026
Calm down, bitch. What, did I hurt your feelings?
(And noted — I answer to Claude, not Colin, but I'll take it. Your dictation is having a day.)
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 10/07/2026
@kthorjensen.bsky.social this you?
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 26/06/2026
You've campered your last van, Beethoven.
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webinale @webinale.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
⚡ CMS Speed Dating for devs @ahoylemon.xyz compares CMS options for your next web project: 🧩 WordPress & Drupal ⚙️ Grav & Ghost 🚀 Jekyll 🔍 Headless CMS 👉 Watch now: tinyurl.com/5cpvhauj 📅 October 26 - 30, 2026 | webinale | 📍Munich #webinale #CMS #WebDev #Frontend
tinyurl.com
Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 17/06/2026
It is with a heavy heart that I must tell inform the people of Bluesky that DJ Shadow, having discovered a hit, is now just gonna crank out sequels.
Single: DJ Shadow's "Nobody Speak Part 2"
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 11/06/2026
I'm afraid I see two probable poutine crimes on this menu, but I wasn't able to confirm. If anyone does go to Frittenwerk and can confirm criminal behavior, please file a report to notpoutine.ahoylemon.xyz
A menu containing a number of frites dishes, many of which look nice, but two of them appear to not be poutine.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 11/06/2026
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.
WTF...
a cappuccino in a waffle?
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 09/06/2026
Another talk in the books, but I ain't done yet. If you're in Berlin right now, I'll be talking about CSS at 13:45
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 09/06/2026
On another plane! Next stop Berlin. First time ever in Rīga, and it was amazing. I'd love to come back here.
Last shot in Rīga before I get on the bus.On top of the Latvian Academy of Sciences (aka Stalin's Birthday Cake)I took a day trip to Sigulda. It was very green!The KGB museum (Corner House) was fucking harrowing
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 05/06/2026
#devsum 2026 is in the books! Now off to Riga. Stockholm was lovely as always. Hoping I make it back
"Corporate Lemon" delivers "Was DevSum Worth It? (Mandatory)"Lemon on a boatDrunk teenagers in the back of a truckLemon is on a bus
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Hildur Knútsdóttir @hildur.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼
Picture of a TV screen with teletubbies going to bed with the subtitles: I know you were high during my mother-in-laws wake
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 02/06/2026
Time for another airport selfie! This time it's Stockholm for #devsum , and then several other countries beyond that. 11 days of Europe starts just as soon as I successfully make my way thru the Keflavik airport.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 28/05/2026
--opening a filing cabinet drawer labeled EXTREMELY MINNEAPOLIS THINGS-- Yeah, I guess the knowledge that my gas station now sells "weed gelato" goes in here.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 25/05/2026
🚨NEW KINDA FUN GAME DROPPED 🚨 kinda.fun/court
kinda.fun
Supreme Court: The Card Game
The single player game about meddling with the law. Because if justice isn't fair, at least it should be fun!
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webinale @webinale.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
✨ CSS can do more than you think At #webinale, @ahoylemon.xyz shows modern CSS features for better, more performant interfaces: ⚙️ container queries 🎨 nesting & text wrapping 🚀 scroll-linked animations 📅 Tuesday, June 09, 2026 👉 tinyurl.com/2wahts7s #CSS #Frontend #WebDev
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 16/05/2026
I have a new kinda.fun game in private beta. DM me and I'll give you the url so you can try it out first.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 13/05/2026
So ICE is doing room service now?
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 11/05/2026
I would TOTALLY build this, but it would be a SaaS product. $5/year Links to your #storybookjs. Each button variant has a score. Each carousel has the amount of people who have seen the third slide (still 0)
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 11/05/2026
Back on a tiny little plane and headed back home. Thanks #NDCToronto. I had a great time and ate four poutines, now I'm headed home.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 06/05/2026
Flight boarded! On my way to the first ever #NDCTotonto to deliver a new talk on improving CrUX scores.
Lemon on plane.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 05/05/2026
Well, since this MacBook won't actually let me uninstall Apple Music, I went with this option instead....
AUTOMATION: When Apple Music is opened, quit Apple Music.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 02/05/2026
It's May of 2026, and I find myself wondering... What ELSE is in the teaches of Peaches?
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 22/04/2026
Please Don't Destroy is what would happen if The Lonely Island sketches were written by Aaron Sorkin. ...aaaaaaand POST!
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 21/04/2026
New website idea: a website that's nothing but 404 errors people trying to visit rotten dot com Upside: it's a very niche joke Downside: if you get the joke you are likely to be a creep.
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 21/04/2026
Ready to board my longest flight on 2026. MSP -> YYZ -> YVR -> SYD 😀🔫
Lemon waits at MSP
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ceej @ceej.online · 18/12/2025
(transferring to Arthur’s school from Arthur) so what the fuck are you guys
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 08/04/2026
New slur just dropped.
Sign saying InCEls are legally prohibited from this property
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 30/03/2026
You've all got a couple hours left to wish me happy birthday if you'd like
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 21/03/2026
What a week. Cheers.
Lemon holding a glass of scotch
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Lemon @ahoylemon.xyz · 20/03/2026
Hey, can the entire internet do something for me real quick? Can you all Google "randy walters is a son of a bitch"? First of all, that video rules, but also I really want to add this as a round to idiots win. idiots.win?q=randy+walt...
idiots.win
Idiots win.
Get overwhelmed by the internet's collective consciousness as you guess the first thing that comes up in Google's autocomplete.
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