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zuzak 🦭

@zuzakistan.com
168 followers 237 following 1.5K posts

Glasgow based seal t.me/zuzakistan

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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 25/09/2026
blue going hooded seal mode
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Orona! @orona.red · 19/09/2026
can't unsee
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 20/09/2026
seduced by the Caffè Nero banoffee matcha latte it's tasty! but I'm using a free voucher and would not spend £4.95 on it lmao
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 20/09/2026
I had one of these yesterday but they aren't vegetarian we can therefore infer these are made from Mr Bobby himself. his flesh harvested in screaming agony or perhaps Bayne's sell his children? but the idea of a r-strategy Blobby brood is upsetting. I think that's the plot of the new Starcraft
pink-iced shortbread in a 8 shape, with yellow iced spots on the body and a poorly rendered iced bow tie and face, with the smile a carmine red, held against a Bayne's The Bakers paper bag
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 20/09/2026
hm do I get the ludicrous Steam Frame or a ludicrous espresso machine
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Mato @mato.riolu.tf · 20/09/2026
That one french game show
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 19/09/2026
thinking about how they just deleted half the building to make way for the railway
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 16/09/2026
reading the Count of Monte Cristo I'm getting the distinct feeling Dumas was paid by the line [he was]
'Waiter!' Danglars called. 'A pen, ink and paper!' 'A pen, ink and paper, Fernand muttered. 'Yes, I am an accountant: pens, ink and paper are the tools of my trade, and without them I can do nothing?' 'A pen, some ink and some paper!' Fernand repeated to the waiter: What you need is over there on the table,' the waiter said, indicating the items they had requested. "Give them to us, then." The waiter brought the paper, some ink and a quill pen, and put them on the table in the arbour.
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 14/09/2026
no kitten don't lock into a 200 cycle interval mandatory cleaning phase it's 9am and mummy needs her coffees
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ascalaphid @ascalaphid.com · 13/09/2026
Everyone In The Comments Being So Mean To Brother Ignatz Who's Never Done Anything Wrong In His Life And Is Basically A Saint
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 11/09/2026
the universal postal service is wild what do you mean I can pay for someone to walk up to my friend's house and send me a picture of their legs when they answer the door
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 08/09/2026
they're selling your brain. reduced to clear
reduced shelf in a Tesco®: several foil packets of smooth paté cat food
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 05/09/2026
hm my car oil light went on when coasting down a slip road so I checked the dipstick and it seems to be saying there's no oil in there but my MOT invoice says they added four litres and it's barely been driven since then do you reckon they just... forgot to add oil after the change
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 28/08/2025
hypnospace outlaw
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 02/09/2026
I genuinely cannot remember if we went to see the volcano one or just saw a trailer
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 29/08/2026
hello from Glasgow Furs where orin has left their umbrella
several decorative rainbow parasols suspended at height above a courtyard
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 28/08/2026
steve mould is selling a cool hooded seal plush toy with the balloon and everything but it's £40 ;;
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 25/08/2026
time to see if the meme is real
an unopened bottle of Jinro Shamisul fresh soju, held up to the camera
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 21/08/2026
we hard-pivoted into LLMs this week at work with a leadership void and a complete team rejig and the ensuing suddenly extremely ambiguous expectations is absolutely wrecking me but I don't know how to push back without sounding like a naysayer
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Will Quinn @willquinnart.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Daily bunny no.3415 is a semi-aquatic mammal
A bunny in a diving suit walks on the seafloor. They stare up at a small seal, who looks like they are about to put their nose up on the bunny's helmet. Fish and sea stars are also there.
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 12/08/2026
thinking about how clocks are clockwise because sundials are clockwise
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 07/08/2026
crinj dw i
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 03/08/2026
eric smith just emailed the hlds mailing list to let everyone know he's just updated day of defeat source in 2026
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 03/08/2026
meanwhile most of my photos were of signs
a "swans nesting" sign except it's degraded to read merely "swans sting"NO UNAUTHORISED VEHICLES BEYOND THIS POINT and a smaller follow up sign to patch an unintended side effect: IMPORTANT NOTICE DELIVERY ACCESS PERMITTED "do not trespass on the railway" sign affixed to an upright plank too narrow for it, so the precut holes for the screws in the corners couldn't be used and they've add to drill extra ones.  Also it's a picturesque coastal line immediately along the foreshore with a pier and the Forth in the background a parking sign specifying the specific statutory instrument that backs it
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 01/08/2026
went to a Caffè Nero deep in the bowels of a department store today so they put in fake windows
Backlit photographs of the Italian countryside mounted inside a windowframe in front of a café table upon which sits a cappuccino, a glass of watee, and a library copy of Walter M Miller's "A Canticle for Leibowitz".
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AuThom🎃🏳️‍🌈 @mongreldog.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
beward of this cognitive hazard. don't say i didn't warn you
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jade's gallery @gallery.oat.zone · 29/07/2026
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 29/07/2026
in a possible sign I've contributed to Openstreetmap around Glasgow too much, I somehow know exactly where this is
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 28/07/2026
whoops was too honest at the team retro again
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 19/07/2026
I like reading Wikipedia articles about football rules because they've always got headers like "Modern developments (1898)"
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 19/07/2026
I'm always surprised how different Greek yoghurt is to Greek-style yoghurt
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Orona! @orona.red · 18/07/2026
I had a minor Linux problem slightly out of my ability to fix at emf camp which is like breaking your leg in the car park of a hospital
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 11/07/2026
I like how they got the symbol wrong but fixed it before they hung the other sign
shopfront window: "PG Fast Food" with a superscript circumscribed C, with a perpendicular sign reading PG with a 
superscript circumscribed R
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 10/07/2026
claude cheerfully telling me to just get a computer with cheap RAM before googling it and slamming head-first into new knowledge about the shortage
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 08/07/2026
disco elysium
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🦭💫 Calen Lythra 🦭💫 @calenthropy.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
They're showing off! What a good catch :D #seal #seals #sealsky
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Sapphi @sapphiringore.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
catch!
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 27/06/2026
hello from the Glasgow furmeet where I'm stood in the corner adding the beer garden to openstreetmap
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wolfie 🔜 MFF @wolfgirl420.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
puppy bus on break
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 22/06/2026
hello from Blackpool Pleasure Beach where the rules are enforced by sniper
"No phones" "No standing" etc signs with a figure with a line through it but also their heads are Xes
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bentley ΘΔ @bentley.trashcan.lol · 20/06/2026
went to Blackpool for the weekend with @mokshadolphin.bsky.social and @zuzakistan.com it is nice
view from our hotel room over Blackpool Pleasure Beach which we will be visiting tomorrow lovely bold blue sky over the middle bit of the promenadesunset over the beach with some people frolicking in the dying light just after sunset looking back at the Blackpool Tower
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Olaf Falafel @ofalafel.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Sea Lions On A Shirt
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austin (e/accordion 🪗) @thebadcode.com · 10/06/2026
finally, we have implemented the massively parallel LLM torment nexus, from classic sci-fi novel
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 10/06/2026
i installed grindr again and it immediately asked if i wanted to put it into "madonna mode"
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 07/06/2026
sat next to a guy on the subway dressed as enjolras
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
I don't know what everyone's complaining about. Just go to settings > features > worms, then change the "worms pouring out of my phone" toggle from "yes" to "maybe later"
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Dominique Ramsey 𓃥 @dominiqueramseyart.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
One in a million
Illustration of a dalmatian head looking upward towards the sky. Some of the spots in it’s fur are numbers, with the numbers being 1 through 9.
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Haiko @erichaiko.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Our newest species of seal, a friendly face in freshwater! #picocad2 #lowpoly #seal
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James East @jameseast.online · 24/05/2026
I was responsible for this (it was literally my idea while I was Product Manager for Media Playout at the BBC) and it is still my proudest achievement ever
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zuzak 🦭 @zuzakistan.com · 25/05/2026
blearily phoning American Express at 2am only to be confronted with an extremely upbeat Californian on the first ring will never stop being jarring
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