Reposted by whatbryanCongressman Greg Casar @repcasar.bsky.social · 21/09/2026ICE wants to deport Wilber Rafael Garces Perez, a DoorDash driver who they just shot in Austin yesterday. The federal government can't shoot someone and then try to make them disappear to escape scrutiny. Wilber Rafael Garces Perez needs a doctor right now, not a deportation. 331219380
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 11/08/2026My biggest fear is that someone whom I consider an enemy speaking about how great I am while being interviewed for the documentary about my life, so Jim Breuer you better shut the fuck up when I'm dead. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Okay class today we're going to be discussing the transition from the McConaissance, where a deeper understanding of Martistic expression was explored, to the over saturation and decadence of the MocCoco period beginning with The Beach Bum (2019) 011
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 16/07/2026As someone who's getting through a case of cyclosporiasis I gotta say GET A BIDET NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE 000
Reposted by whatbryanBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Mainstream Respectable opinion is that people joking about a bad person's death represents a culture of cruelty, but really it represents a culture of impunity. It's a coping mechanism for watching someone do evil their whole life and never seeing consequences 114208745338
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 19/05/2026When creativity is your job (aka creation for capital and your own survival) of course you'd embrace a machine that will do that for you. 110
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 07/04/2026I wish my name was Pete so that when I left a room I could say "Okay Pete's out! ✌️" and after I'm gone everyone could resume their plans to steal my super cool new catch phrase. 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 18/03/2026a wrestler that's like a fat version of Willie Nelson and he has a move called On The Ropes Again where he bounces you against the ropes and hits you with an old guitar and his name is Full Nelson 010
Reposted by whatbryanBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 13/03/2026HOLY SHIT. A dark money group, hidden behind a bunch of shell companies, is paying influencers thousands of dollars PER POST to attack @katmabu.bsky.social on social media a month before her election. Thank you to the people who declined the money and went forward with this. So who's behind this?ms.nowDark money group offers influencers $1,500 for posts attacking Chicago Democratic primary candidateProgressive House candidate Kat Abughazaleh told MS NOW the secretive campaign is “filled with false and defamatory claims.” 767199747911
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Starving and had to eat a rotisserie chicken I found in that Wall Street guy's trash and now my poopfolio has gained significant liquidity 000
Reposted by whatbryanRadley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Every photo from Minneapolis looks like this. Cops decked out with guns and full tac gear facing off against people in bathrobes, parkas, and sweatpants armed only with whistles and cell phones. Yet every verified MAGA chode on X dutifully calls it a riot or violent insurrection. 239134314755
Reposted by whatbryanDisco @discosaurus.bsky.social · 21/01/2026This picture making the rounds on reddit, Columbia Heights. I'm not OK. 39161841907
Reposted by whatbryanJacob T. Levy @jacobtlevy.bsky.social · 21/01/2026A five-year-old boy seized on his way home in Minnesota and now locked up in Texas. His family didn't know where he was for 24 hours. 521881781
Reposted by whatbryanAshley Miller @amreports.bsky.social · 21/01/2026An observer arrested in Suth Minneapolis. Photo by Richard Tsong-Taatarii/The Minnesota Star Tribune 83486064952
Reposted by whatbryanWill Stancil @whstancil.bsky.social · 21/01/2026guys minneapolis is a living hell today. they've tear-gassed so many people, tear-gassed a park, beaten people up in front of me. greg bovino is rolling around to gas stations and posing in front of them, trying to cause a riot. 20668782581
Reposted by whatbryanJesse Raub @jesseraub.online · 13/12/2025if mike judge married judge reinhold his name would be mike reinhold 1675099
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 02/12/2025*scribbling into notebook* Cornbread, yes, banana bread, carrot cake, uh huh, zucchini bread, potato bread, yes yes, blueberry muffin, keep going you're almost there, sweet potato pie, tomato focaccia, pumpkin cheesecake, YES OF COURSE! THE EVERYTHING BAGEL! MR. HAWKING COME QUICK! 000
Reposted by whatbryanJason K Pargin, author @jasonkpargin.bsky.social · 01/09/2025Scatter my ashes at dick shooter creek 1020620
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 31/08/2025Characters for my new play about a thief who steals from the fridge and gives to the poor: - Robin Hood Vent - Kettle John - Air Fryer Tuck - KitchenAid Marian - Sheriff of Nottinghamdrawer 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 27/08/2025Some nights I find it hard to get to sleep, but it isn't because I'm worried or anxious, it's because my eyes are always open... to new possibilities. Hello and welcome to How to Win Friends and Influence People: The Musical 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 02/07/2025If you asked me who had the best drum sound of all time, I might say John Bonham. And if you asked me who had the worst, I'd have to say Pat "Jello with Wet Bread" Flompstein. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 01/07/2025THIS WEEKEND there are two priceless Labubus hidden in a pitch black high school gymnasium but one is filled with bullet ants. Do you scrounge down the easy road or take the path of pain? 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 30/06/2025I can't find my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica I hope it's okay *glass breaking sound* I hope that wasn't my Limited Edition Tom Bosley Signature Collection Uranium Glass Harmonica 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 29/05/2025For his next act Timothée Chalamet MUST play Dwight Yoakum I INSIST no one else could pour themselves into those hallowed jeans 020
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 28/05/2025I never thought I'd lose my job to a computer, especially since I'm the world's greatest computer insult comic. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 28/05/2025Carson Daly I'm coming for your job 🫵 So where do you work now? Oh really oh sick nice man. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 28/05/2025You can ask me how my day was, but know that if you do, you'll never recover. Because I live every day like it's my last. And on my last day I was crushed by a rhino butt. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 25/03/2025You think the guy who played the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz used Tinactin so his performance wouldn't feel so stiff? 110
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 07/03/2025They FIRED the LORAX everyone WEAR ORANGE tomorrow 03/07!!! 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 04/03/2025Y'all I forgot what "whence" means I don't know where or when or who to do 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 27/02/2025If they don't let us vape in the airport soon then democracy is done for 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Circus owners: If you can do a bunch of front flips call me I have a job for you. Must be weird, too. 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Mix flour and water and you get a glue-like substance. Mix flower and someone's daughter and you get two people stuck like glue. Happy Valentine's baby, the sincerity curse will wear off soon! 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 12/02/2025One day there will be a tool that will turn all of my creative desires into pure stress so that we can skip the middleman of time and joy and get straight to the moneyfunnel 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Put your soup in a Shamwow and squeeze it out while you're on the go today 100
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 08/02/2025I'll only watch the Super Bowl if they LET THEM PLAY! Injuries are part of the GAME! Larry CSONKA could remove a tight end's right leg and then SHAKE HIS HAND over a beer like a gentleMAN 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 06/02/2025JUDGE: You stand accused of egregious acts of horniness and face up to 30 years in horny jail. How do you plead? 😎: ...Guilty... Your Hornor JUDGE: Bailiff, restrain and gag him 😎: That's what she sa... JUDGE: ORDER ORDER IN THIS COURT 😎: Order? I hardly even know her. 010
Reposted by whatbryaneve6 @eve6.bsky.social · 06/02/2025Reposting me let's your followers know you like alternative rock 611816668
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Got my groin patted down at the airport and an onlooker came up and said "I saw a shirt on the Internet that said 'It ain't gay if it's TSA'" and I killed him 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 28/01/2025I'm on a tiny plane to Oklahoma City and the pilot and flight attendants are giving polycule energy I can't explain it any clearer but I wanna go home 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 27/01/2025ATTENTION TV PRODUCERS put me on Love Island as soon as possible I have an urgent message for Sierra OR Claire OR Bryony OR Jaylen 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Everyone sorta has to give their opinion on nazis and fascists right now and just so we're clear I think they should get punched in the head as hard as possible, but to be fair to both sides you can also kick them in the butt. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 21/01/2025History is cyclical. The time of hot dogs is at its end. The great turning to weird drinks with things floating in them is nigh. 020
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Helping an old lady cross the street to meet her dealer 010
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 16/01/2025I don't see color, politics, or gender. What I do see is spinach in your teeth, but I'm not gonna tell you about it, it's just something you're gonna have to discover on your own. 000
whatbryan @whatbryan.bsky.social · 15/01/2025Going to sleep thinking about all the times my shoelaces were untied and how many women who were going to ask me to marry them noticed and decided I shouldn't father their children anymore. 000