SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20hThere’s only so many ways to make a living that don’t involve crying out, "For the love of God, Montresor!", and writing is not one of them. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20hIt’s all vibes based and once you internalize that over thinking anything is on the level, that’s when things start to make sense. 010
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20hThis is what being an autistic only-child teenager without friends is like. The indoor child survives on kelp and multiplayer board games played single-player, and any and all media it can get its hands on. 010
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20hThe last thing I saw before I blacked out was Maureen Johnson coming toward me with a complete volume of unabridged Agatha Christie novels. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21hThere are many benefits to being insane, and they are all secrets that will never be shared. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21hThe Republican Party has been Jonestown for a decade and I’m pretty sure that’s not great news for us civilians. 001
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 29/09/2026Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com’s Wikipedia page had a section titled “Lawsuits Won by C. Casto Fangola“ and it went on for ages. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 28/09/2026@maureenjohnsonbooks.com’s new book is so good that even other publishers are promoting it. “It’s better than The DaVinci Code, and frankly anything else we carry, Penguin Random House said in a recent press conference. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 28/09/2026Dreamt Scholastic paid for the Knife Sharpening Truck to drive around midtown for a week during the promotion of @maureenjohnsonbooks.com’s latest Stevie Bell mystery, with the knife sharpener asking hungry bankers “What’s sharper than Velvet?” as he drove by. Correct Answers received clemency. 100
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026I am very much like a vampire. I must be invited into your home. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026@maureenjohnsonbooks.com have you ever wondered how I ended up in your life? We call this “intended consequences”, when you do something weird out in the universe, if you’re really lucky, the universe sends it back differently 100
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026Well, yes, I’ll be playing 3 Legs on every stop at bookstores before the Q/A, but I’m not a backing group because we share the same legal namestatic.klipy.comPaul McCartney of The Beatles with a BeardALT: Paul McCartney of The Beatles with a Beard 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026@maureenjohnsonbooks.com how does it feel to be on tour in America at the same time as Ed Sheeran with the same number of backup artists 120
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026If this isn’t the coolest shit in the universe then the universe isn’t on the level 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026Nobody means to invent email but the social web is doomed to repeat the cycle until there are no new names for startups in silicon valley 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026I am sad that I did not get a chance to ask who the muffin man is tonight 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026Did I miss it? Can I call you on FaceTime just to ask questions like, “Why did Han Solo buy stock in eBay?” 100
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026About confusion, grief, and power dynamics of famous people. I would call it TRANSOM RAIDERS 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026@maureenjohnsonbooks.com you ever write a joke tweet so fast and so good that you’re like “damn I would fuck with writing that for real”? 110
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026When the book comes out and you and your friend have one copy 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com wrote a 500 page novel about three teens who discover that a famous local public broadcasting TV chef is in fact a serial killer and a cannibal. They spend Junior year trying to figure out what to do about this while members of their community continue to go missing. 110
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneYashar Ali 🐘 @yasharali.bsky.social · 23/09/2026So what did Dolly Parton name the entity she established to oversee her estate, publishing interests, and legacy after her death? “She’s Alive LLC.” Absolutely perfect. 595577732
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 22/09/2026Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com told me to find her a lawyer so I brought her this guy and she looked me straight in the eyes and said “this is why I turn to you” 140
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21/09/2026dreamt I screen printed a flowy floral shirt with the words “it’s glam rock to read” and @maureenjohnsonbooks.com bought one to wear on her world tour from Ohio to St. Louis. The reviews came in strong: people fucked with it. The New York Times fucked with it. The Pope fucked with it. Reading fucks. 120
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21/09/2026I often feel like the premise of this second term is that America hired a strange former employee to stage traumatic events to teach itself harsh life lessons. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026getting bored and putting an abstract painting in my dns records 010
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026Someone would say localhost even, but those people have Androids without shit autocomplete that I pay a premium for 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026This is whatever, it’s fine, but I think they should take risks and put Mickey Mouse on the Cloudflare landing page and have him explaining to Goofy what the fuck a localist is. 100
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneSteven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise. 159191003840
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026Morny, the Batman IP from the original comics goes public domain soon and I’m going to publish a version of Batman where a YA novelist of urban fantasy fiction prowls Pennsylvania at night avenging the Right to Read 021
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneBlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 16/09/2026 "Take me to Mexico with you!" I yell out as the monarchs fly by me. They keep flying without answering. 08424
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneSnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 25/07/2026Here’s to fucking around against the current, and never finding out how our pool parties end. 001
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneSnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 27/07/2026like and subscribe, hit that smash button for more juicy ass content like my musings on the essentialism of community and stoking the dignity of others 001
Reposted by SnorklefishTobleroneSnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 27/07/2026The McConnell thing is totally going to be the “somehow, Palpetine returned” of 2026, isn’t it 011
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 19/09/2026I hear you loud and clear and you can all go fuck yourselves. 000
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 19/09/2026Dreamt I awoke to @maureenjohnsonbooks.com muttering “They don’t understand me. I’m the George Lucas of YA,” to herself in the corner of the office. “What?” I said, rolling over and half awake on the couch. “HarperCollins won’t let me spend three hundred million on production of my new book.” 010
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026You can basically be a known serial killer and publishing houses won’t drop you from their paid marketing at bookstores, so there’s that. 020