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SnorklefishToblerone

@tunafi.sh
240 followers 33 following 4.7K posts

I have been told that I am friend shaped.

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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
There’s only so many ways to make a living that don’t involve crying out, "For the love of God, Montresor!", and writing is not one of them.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
It’s all vibes based and once you internalize that over thinking anything is on the level, that’s when things start to make sense.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
This is what being an autistic only-child teenager without friends is like. The indoor child survives on kelp and multiplayer board games played single-player, and any and all media it can get its hands on.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Maureen Johnson coming toward me with a complete volume of unabridged Agatha Christie novels.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
There are many benefits to being insane, and they are all secrets that will never be shared.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 15h
The Republican Party has been Jonestown for a decade and I’m pretty sure that’s not great news for us civilians.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 29/09/2026
Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com’s Wikipedia page had a section titled “Lawsuits Won by C. Casto Fangola“ and it went on for ages.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 28/09/2026
Dreamt Scholastic paid for the Knife Sharpening Truck to drive around midtown for a week during the promotion of @maureenjohnsonbooks.com’s latest Stevie Bell mystery, with the knife sharpener asking hungry bankers “What’s sharper than Velvet?” as he drove by. Correct Answers received clemency.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
@maureenjohnsonbooks.com have you ever wondered how I ended up in your life? We call this “intended consequences”, when you do something weird out in the universe, if you’re really lucky, the universe sends it back differently
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
The energy I’m bringing into 2027
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
I’ve had many incarnations. My favorite is the wind.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
@maureenjohnsonbooks.com how does it feel to be on tour in America at the same time as Ed Sheeran with the same number of backup artists
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
When I ask my cat how our trip to the vet went
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
The word is bruchetta
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
The word cannot be replaced by monetization schemes.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
If this isn’t the coolest shit in the universe then the universe isn’t on the level
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 24/09/2026
Nobody means to invent email but the social web is doomed to repeat the cycle until there are no new names for startups in silicon valley
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026
When the book comes out and you and your friend have one copy
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026
Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com wrote a 500 page novel about three teens who discover that a famous local public broadcasting TV chef is in fact a serial killer and a cannibal. They spend Junior year trying to figure out what to do about this while members of their community continue to go missing.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 23/09/2026
Like Jesus Christ and the McRib, I will be back.
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Reposted by SnorklefishToblerone
Yashar Ali 🐘 @yasharali.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
So what did Dolly Parton name the entity she established to oversee her estate, publishing interests, and legacy after her death? “She’s Alive LLC.” Absolutely perfect.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 22/09/2026
Goodbye Madness
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 22/09/2026
Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com told me to find her a lawyer so I brought her this guy and she looked me straight in the eyes and said “this is why I turn to you”
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21/09/2026
Nobody means to start a podcast.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 21/09/2026
dreamt I screen printed a flowy floral shirt with the words “it’s glam rock to read” and @maureenjohnsonbooks.com bought one to wear on her world tour from Ohio to St. Louis. The reviews came in strong: people fucked with it. The New York Times fucked with it. The Pope fucked with it. Reading fucks.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026
getting bored and putting an abstract painting in my dns records
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Reposted by SnorklefishToblerone
Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 20/09/2026
Morny, the Batman IP from the original comics goes public domain soon and I’m going to publish a version of Batman where a YA novelist of urban fantasy fiction prowls Pennsylvania at night avenging the Right to Read
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Reposted by SnorklefishToblerone
BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
"Take me to Mexico with you!" I yell out as the monarchs fly by me. They keep flying without answering.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 25/07/2026
Here’s to fucking around against the current, and never finding out how our pool parties end.
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Reposted by SnorklefishToblerone
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 27/07/2026
like and subscribe, hit that smash button for more juicy ass content like my musings on the essentialism of community and stoking the dignity of others
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Reposted by SnorklefishToblerone
SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 27/07/2026
The McConnell thing is totally going to be the “somehow, Palpetine returned” of 2026, isn’t it
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 19/09/2026
I hear you loud and clear and you can all go fuck yourselves.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 19/09/2026
Dreamt I awoke to @maureenjohnsonbooks.com muttering “They don’t understand me. I’m the George Lucas of YA,” to herself in the corner of the office. “What?” I said, rolling over and half awake on the couch. “HarperCollins won’t let me spend three hundred million on production of my new book.”
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
What I actually look like when I’m posting online
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
I am one day my 70s glam cowboy country truth
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
@maureenjohnsonbooks.com im gonna buy this in your size (extra crispy) and iron-on a patch that says “join us at maureenjohnsonbooks.com” and send it to you
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
Can you feel the comments tonight? It is where we are.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
I can’t believe Maureen finally bought Maureen Johnson goes to the circus and frees the tigers dot com for her website
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
I heard they’re tearing down most of Neshaminy Mall, save for the Boscov’s, the Barnes & Noble, and the chain movie theater. At least cultural preservation is occurring in Pennsylvania.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
The one thing everyone who lives in The Villages lives in fear of their kids and grandkids telling them one day is, “Dad, it’s time we sent you to the Senate.”
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
Never let an idea get to waste. If it’s perfect it’s probably never getting seen.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 18/09/2026
Dreamt me and @maureenjohnsonbooks.com went to a music festival and we ate a mushroom pizza that turned out to really be a mushroom pizza. We sat under an oak tree and talked about how it only took a few billion years for the universe to invent the Beatles and how we get to be in the immediate glow
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 16/09/2026
I, too, will be departing the Ed Sheeran tour.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 16/09/2026
kids from the late 2000s when a @maureenjohnsonbooks.com book is coming
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 13/09/2026
One key wisdom of working within your genre is knowing when to adhere to customs and when to break the rules.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 13/09/2026
Dreamt @maureenjohnson drew inspiration from her biggest hero, the man eating a full rotisserie chicken every day outside of the New York Public Library main branch, when she said: “As a writer, your only goal is to show up as authentically yourself each time in a way that confuses your enemies.”
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 12/09/2026
Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com wrote a book she pitched as ”basically, if the movie Jaws took place on an airplane.” Her agent begged her not to spend her time on it but Maureen dutifully wrote it anyway, sending me drafts to help revise each week. It debuted on DeviantArt to tens of llamas.
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SnorklefishToblerone @tunafi.sh · 09/09/2026
@maureenjohnsonbooks.com @herzwesten.bsky.social
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