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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard

@themeadhallbard.bsky.social
1.1K followers 548 following 24K posts

#Wülferhamptonian Profanigiest Belligerent malcontent Tuberdoor, Storyteller, twangler Ancient opsimath Murdered many times (It’s complicated) Testimonials: “Frustratingly degenerate sadistic bastard” “Wilfully obtuse twat”

PostsRepliesMedia
The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
It’s hardly got started. It’ll be peeling the grease of the rafters before we’re done.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
Think along the lines of cephalic chromium.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
🤣
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
Ninjaness.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
Take a wild guess.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
#YuletideSproutsKPI Fire: Steady Liquor Level: Nominal Cauldron Status: Steady Boil Miasma Toxicity: Increasing Crust Density: Thick Scum Rat Contamination Level: Low Cauldron Integrity: Stable Cook’s Temperament: Belligerent Sous Serf Safety: OK (ish) Product Safety Assessment: Meh
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
The trick is to keep moving away just enough that he can’t catch you and forgets why he’s chasing you in the first place.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
🤣
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 1h
🤣
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 4h
I’ve just reported you to MI5 and the CIA for this.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 6h
It’s when his seax is behind ‘you’ that you have to worry.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 9h
Thank you so much. There’s a consideration waiting for you at the Mead Hall bar.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 10h
@dutytorturer.bsky.social He’s started again. If you would please be so unkind as to ‘see to him’. Thank you so much.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 21h
Barry was disappointed at being benched by the manager.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 22h
Entirely.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 22h
Not mine.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 22h
He’s not wrong TBF.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
Thank you. Cheers.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
There’s another?
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
Yup.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
Well we’ll try out your theory with you as the target then.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
Kidderminster aside, my best wishes to The Lady B.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
I’ll pass, thank you.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 23h
I have my own ectoplasm, thank you.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I really don’t want to know.
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Reposted by The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard
Make it a Quote @miq.moe · 05/10/2026
Generated by Make it a Quote
User: psychicsquirrel.bsky.social
Content: The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The question that is making me uneasy is: What have the chips been smattered with? 
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Ryan Reynolds: Yeah, Pretty Much
ALT: Ryan Reynolds: Yeah, Pretty Much
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
@miq.moe color
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
@meadhallwench.bsky.social You have a client.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The lower tables, vegetarians and lepers all get a portion. Or, if you misbehave, two portions.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The sprouts are indeed sacred and revered. I trust the Lady was properly looked after by the sous serfs, given appropriate PPE and that Roger was spayed lightly with WD40?
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Yes. Yes, they are.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Apropos the above thread… Hack, bodge, fettle, etc. youtube.com/shorts/vjw74...
youtube.com
What is the bug that caused Malaysia F1 chaos? 💻
YouTube video by THE RACE
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
What revolution? It’s the 7th century.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
🙄
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Good point.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
That’s you told, init?
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Mornin’
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
ART THOU ALL DEVOID OF WIT? PAY HEED:
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
As it was, so ever shall it be. Cook prepares the sprouts according to the Wülferhampton sprout lore and the lore is immutable. Your opinions, desires and protestations carry no weight here. Still thy tongue lest the @dutytorturer.bsky.social be summoned to aid thy silence.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
😳
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Mycelium.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
🤣
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
😂
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Double vision because I’m pissed usually.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It’s sad when the drink takes over.
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Quickly before it’s too late. Save yourself it’s too late for us.
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Reposted by The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard
forest fr1ends @forestfr1ends.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard @themeadhallbard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Are you going soft?
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