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The Daily Tism

@thedailytism.com
17K followers 83 following 3.1K posts

Satirical news by & for autistic people (poor things). Founded by Sara Gibbs & Elsa Williams; run by Sara Gibbs & Sarah Amero It’s a Superpower?? is out now: allmylinks.com/itsasuperpower www.thedailytism.com www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism

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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 15h
An autistic person using a new bathroom for the first time has had to delay their urgent bodily functions due to spotting something truly horrific on the walls, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Misaligned bathroom tile prompts letter of complaint to God, Santa, or anyone who will listen
An autistic person using a new bathroom for the first time has had to delay their urgent bodily functions due to spotting something truly horrific on the walls, it has been reported. While everyone…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 19h
When she looked down to pick up the final chicken strip, the box was empty, save for a few oily crumbs which seemed to mock her for her hubris.
thedailytism.com
Devastating! Autistic woman eats last chicken strip without savouring the moment
An autistic woman has eaten her last chicken strip without realising it was the last chicken strip, according to sources. Becky Armitage, 30, was enjoying a meal of chicken strips and chips from her…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 23h
An autistic man has added an unnecessarily extensive disclaimer to a completely harmless perspective, sources have reported. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
A man sits at a desk smiling as he writes on a piece of paper.
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
An AuDHD man told to try the Pomodoro Technique as a way to overcome distractions and procrastination has reportedly fallen down a multi-hour rabbit hole on the history of the tomato.
thedailytism.com
AuDHD man advised to try Pomodoro Technique falls down seven-hour rabbit hole on history of tomato
An AuDHD man told to try the Pomodoro Technique as a way to overcome distractions and procrastination has reportedly fallen down a multi-hour rabbit hole on the history of the tomato. Anand Trivedi,…
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Sara Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
We’re deep in planning mode for the most epic autistic fundraising event we can dream up! Yes it will involve your pets. More soon! In the meantime…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
An autistic woman, who was miles away and surrounded by witnesses at the time of a recent strangulation murder, still thinks the immense weight of guilt and shame crouching gargoyle-like on her soul could be related to the crime, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman with alibi for murder still thinks she may have somehow committed it
An autistic woman, who was miles away and surrounded by witnesses at the time of a recent strangulation murder, still thinks the immense weight of guilt and shame crouching gargoyle-like on her soul…
27611
Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
Chi-Young Lee, 29, says it is “impossible” to talk to the cute girl from her local book group, but retreating to the top of a hill to spin around in the rain and clutch her chest in despair is much more feasible.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman’s crush behaviour modelled on ’00s R&B music videos
An autistic woman who doesn’t know how to behave around people she is attracted to has resorted to taking cues from lovelorn men in '00s R&B videos, it has been claimed. Chi-Young Lee, 29, says it is…
110215
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
Beth Hapworth, 38, who needs clear and direct communication from others in order to avoid misunderstandings, has reportedly become an expert in dancing around, pussyfooting and eggshell-treading.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman prefers direct communication unless she has to do it
An autistic woman who would prefer for others to deliver difficult truths to her without any ambiguity would also rather die than say a single stressful thing directly into another person’s face, it…
217839
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
An autistic man kidnapped by a criminal gang will tell you anything you want to know, and also many things you don’t want to know, without being subjected to torture, his captors have revealed.
thedailytism.com
Interrogation of autistic man “entirely unnecessary” concede captors
An autistic man kidnapped by a criminal gang will tell you anything you want to know, and also many things you don’t want to know, without being subjected to torture, his captors have revealed.  Ryan…
010819
Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
Dr. Karen Hoyland, a researcher at the Institute for Tea, Biccies and ITV, made the statement explaining that neurotypicalism is a serious condition and explaining that it’s impossible to tell from someone’s public persona whether or not they have it.
thedailytism.com
Public warned to stop armchair diagnosing celebrities as neurotypical
The general public has been asked to stop assuming all celebrities are people with neurotypicalism, as it’s impossible to make that judgment without proper qualifications.  Dr. Karen Hoyland, a…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
An AuDHD man is reportedly “chewing the ear off” a new acquaintance who’s too nice to simply wander off like everybody else does.
thedailytism.com
Uh oh! AuDHD man finds someone polite enough to be captive audience
An AuDHD man is reportedly “chewing the ear off” a new acquaintance who’s too nice to simply wander off like everybody else does. Mac Wheatley, 38, was delighted to find himself seated next to Anand…
29413
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
Giving the Crowdfunder a weekend kick! Rewards include a baking booklet as written by Sophie (sorry), voice memos from the characters & a few slots to be immortalised in the show.
crowdfunder.co.uk
It's a Superpower?? Season Two
To fund season 2 of It's a Superpower?? the first audio sitcom by & for autistic people - & pay our amazing team an industry rate
13220
Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman taking up running struggling with the bit where she has to run
An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home. Talia Cohen, 40, decided to try to start running because she was too…
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Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 04/10/2026
An autistic woman’s idea of self care is virtually indistinguishable from that of a morally bankrupt Roman emperor, sources have claimed.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman’s idea of self-care akin to that of depraved Roman emperor
An autistic woman’s idea of self care is virtually indistinguishable from that of a morally bankrupt Roman emperor, sources have claimed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 36, deals with the stresses of everyday…
220436
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 04/10/2026
A 39-year-old autistic woman’s beloved childhood plushie is the modern-day equivalent of a plague blanket, scientists have discovered. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
A cuddly toy pig sits on a beige armchair
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
One autistic individual is reported to be living the dream, having opened a bookshop and then displayed a large sign in the window reading NO CUSTOMERS.
thedailytism.com
The dream! Autistic person opens second-hand bookshop where no one is allowed to buy books or come in
One autistic individual is reported to be living the dream, having opened a bookshop and then displayed a large sign in the window reading NO CUSTOMERS. Alix Gardner, 42, has embraced their inner…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
A recent survey has found that the top employers of autistic people are the IT and retail industries – closely followed by beloved superhero team the X-Men.
thedailytism.com
Top employers of autistic people revealed as IT, retail and the X-Men
A recent survey has found that the top employers of autistic people are the IT and retail industries – closely followed by beloved superhero team the X-Men. Although the tech and retail sectors are…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
An autistic woman has finally landed her dream role as an unpaid educator for everyone around her, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman lands dream job as everybody’s unpaid educator
An autistic woman has finally landed her dream role as an unpaid educator for everyone around her, it has been reported. Navya Randhawa, 28, has always dreamed of wasting her precious time and energy…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
A recent survey has found that the top employers of autistic people are the IT and retail industries – closely followed by beloved superhero team the X-Men.
thedailytism.com
Top employers of autistic people revealed as IT, retail and the X-Men
A recent survey has found that the top employers of autistic people are the IT and retail industries – closely followed by beloved superhero team the X-Men. Although the tech and retail sectors are…
112728
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
One autistic individual is reported to be living the dream, having opened a bookshop and then displayed a large sign in the window reading NO CUSTOMERS.
thedailytism.com
The dream! Autistic person opens second-hand bookshop where no one is allowed to buy books or come in
One autistic individual is reported to be living the dream, having opened a bookshop and then displayed a large sign in the window reading NO CUSTOMERS. Alix Gardner, 42, has embraced their inner…
1434392
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 04/10/2026
A 39-year-old autistic woman’s beloved childhood plushie is the modern-day equivalent of a plague blanket, scientists have discovered. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
A cuddly toy pig sits on a beige armchair
67510
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Hare LockwoOoOoOod @harelockwood.com · 04/10/2026
PATTERNS! 🥰
£6,789!
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 04/10/2026
An autistic woman’s idea of self care is virtually indistinguishable from that of a morally bankrupt Roman emperor, sources have claimed.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman’s idea of self-care akin to that of depraved Roman emperor
An autistic woman’s idea of self care is virtually indistinguishable from that of a morally bankrupt Roman emperor, sources have claimed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 36, deals with the stresses of everyday…
220436
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman taking up running struggling with the bit where she has to run
An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home. Talia Cohen, 40, decided to try to start running because she was too…
111210
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
Giving the Crowdfunder a weekend kick! Rewards include a baking booklet as written by Sophie (sorry), voice memos from the characters & a few slots to be immortalised in the show.
crowdfunder.co.uk
It's a Superpower?? Season Two
To fund season 2 of It's a Superpower?? the first audio sitcom by & for autistic people - & pay our amazing team an industry rate
13220
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
An AuDHD man is reportedly “chewing the ear off” a new acquaintance who’s too nice to simply wander off like everybody else does.
thedailytism.com
Uh oh! AuDHD man finds someone polite enough to be captive audience
An AuDHD man is reportedly “chewing the ear off” a new acquaintance who’s too nice to simply wander off like everybody else does. Mac Wheatley, 38, was delighted to find himself seated next to Anand…
29413
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 03/10/2026
An autistic woman’s mother has aroused shock and suspicion after going five minutes without a single comment about her daughter’s life choices, eyewitnesses have claimed.
thedailytism.com
Shock! Autistic woman’s mother hasn’t commented on diet, clothes or lifestyle yet
An autistic woman’s mother has aroused shock and suspicion after going five minutes without a single comment about her daughter’s life choices, eyewitnesses have claimed. Natasha Weaving, 34, met her…
06811
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
Dr. Karen Hoyland, a researcher at the Institute for Tea, Biccies and ITV, made the statement explaining that neurotypicalism is a serious condition and explaining that it’s impossible to tell from someone’s public persona whether or not they have it.
thedailytism.com
Public warned to stop armchair diagnosing celebrities as neurotypical
The general public has been asked to stop assuming all celebrities are people with neurotypicalism, as it’s impossible to make that judgment without proper qualifications.  Dr. Karen Hoyland, a…
210024
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
Help a hamster out 💗
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
An autistic man kidnapped by a criminal gang will tell you anything you want to know, and also many things you don’t want to know, without being subjected to torture, his captors have revealed.
thedailytism.com
Interrogation of autistic man “entirely unnecessary” concede captors
An autistic man kidnapped by a criminal gang will tell you anything you want to know, and also many things you don’t want to know, without being subjected to torture, his captors have revealed.  Ryan…
010819
Reposted by The Daily Tism
Sara Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Just checked in after a long day of writing & you incredible folks have been at the Crowdfunder again! 💗 £330 to go until the next £1k milestone at which point I’ll include a honey cake good enough to impress a Jewish grandmother in Sophie’s booklet www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/its-a-supe...
It's a Superpower??
Season Two
£6,670
Target: £30,000
166 supporters
22%
78 days left
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Dr Katie Twomey @k2mey.eurosky.social · 02/10/2026
This alone is worth subscribing for. But, obviously, it all is.
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The Woodlouse (John Butler) @the-woodlouse.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
My first @thedailytism.com article, locked away safely in the Patreon-only section so you'll have to subscribe to read it. The good news is, if you subscribe you get to read many more articles by much more talented writers than me, AND support the Daily Tism! www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
patreon.com
Glitch on autistic man’s software “deliberate and personal”, admits company | The Daily Tism
Glitch on autistic man’s software “deliberate and personal”, admits company by The Daily Tism on Patreon. Join The Daily Tism's community for exclusive content and updates.
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 02/10/2026
Beth Hapworth, 38, who needs clear and direct communication from others in order to avoid misunderstandings, has reportedly become an expert in dancing around, pussyfooting and eggshell-treading.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman prefers direct communication unless she has to do it
An autistic woman who would prefer for others to deliver difficult truths to her without any ambiguity would also rather die than say a single stressful thing directly into another person’s face, it…
217839
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
Chi-Young Lee, 29, says it is “impossible” to talk to the cute girl from her local book group, but retreating to the top of a hill to spin around in the rain and clutch her chest in despair is much more feasible.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman’s crush behaviour modelled on ’00s R&B music videos
An autistic woman who doesn’t know how to behave around people she is attracted to has resorted to taking cues from lovelorn men in '00s R&B videos, it has been claimed. Chi-Young Lee, 29, says it is…
110215
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
An autistic woman, who was miles away and surrounded by witnesses at the time of a recent strangulation murder, still thinks the immense weight of guilt and shame crouching gargoyle-like on her soul could be related to the crime, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman with alibi for murder still thinks she may have somehow committed it
An autistic woman, who was miles away and surrounded by witnesses at the time of a recent strangulation murder, still thinks the immense weight of guilt and shame crouching gargoyle-like on her soul…
27611
Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 28/09/2026
A workplace diversity initiative aims to support autistic employees by giving them a massive snog, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Workplace diversity initiative promotes just fully kissing autistic people on the mouth
A workplace diversity initiative aims to support autistic employees by giving them a massive snog, it has been reported. SMH, who optimise workflow solutions to maximise stakeholder value through…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 28/09/2026
The colleague in your team meeting who happens to have the most sympathetic face is about to be stared at so intensely they will likely conclude that you’re in love with them, it has been announced.
thedailytism.com
Chosen! Safest-looking colleague at team meeting receives staring of a lifetime
The colleague in your team meeting who happens to have the most sympathetic face is about to be stared at so intensely they will likely conclude that you’re in love with them, it has been announced. …
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 28/09/2026
An autistic woman would be far better at foiling James Bond than working at a call centre, she claims.
thedailytism.com
Autistic woman’s skillset better suited to Bond villain than customer service representative
An autistic woman would be far better at foiling James Bond than working at a call centre, she claims. Miya Wilkes, 27, is adept at using technology and looking unnerving, neither of which she has…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 29/09/2026
A neurodivergent couple with opposing types of wildly uneven skillsets just about add up to one fully competent adult between them, it has been rumoured. Read this and get exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
A heterosexual couple stand in a kitchen holding slices of pizza and making silly faces
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 29/09/2026
Autistic parents have been warned to be vigilant for signs that their child could be afflicted with Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder, or NSD.
thedailytism.com
Every parent’s worst nightmare! Could your child be neurotypical?
Autistic parents have been warned to be vigilant for signs that their child could be afflicted with Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder, or NSD. Speaking in front of a parliamentary group, paediatrician…
315240
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 29/09/2026
Jay Chester, 38, expressed dismay about the fact that the part of their brain which should contain vital information about loved ones is fully occupied by thirty seconds of borderline racist rapping about tropical fruit juice drink Um Bongo.
thedailytism.com
Autistic millennial can recite every ’90s TV advert but has no idea what their nephew’s name is
An autistic person who once recorded a three-hour VHS tape of television adverts has realised those adverts are taking up valuable brain space which might be put to better use, like memorising the…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 30/09/2026
A pair of lifelong friends have recently realised they know almost nothing about each other thanks to their autism and ADHD, it has been reported.
thedailytism.com
Autistic and ADHD friends realise they have never retained a single fact about each other
A pair of lifelong friends have recently realised they know almost nothing about each other thanks to their autism and ADHD, it has been reported. Ben Espenson, 24, who is autistic, and Naveed…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 30/09/2026
An autistic woman is boring the ever-living fuck out of her friends and family by relentlessly questioning her own diagnosis, sources have claimed.
thedailytism.com
“What if I’m not really autistic?” asks world’s most obviously autistic woman, constantly
An autistic woman is boring the ever-living fuck out of her friends and family by relentlessly questioning her own diagnosis, sources have claimed.  To put her doubts to rest, Paige Thomas, 39,…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 30/09/2026
An autistic man who recently left university is reportedly longing for the halcyon days of having unfettered access to academic journals.
thedailytism.com
Autistic graduate sad he can’t browse PubMed for fun any more
An autistic man who recently left university is reportedly longing for the halcyon days of having unfettered access to academic journals. Onye Egbuchunam, 21, spent much of his sociology degree…
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
Every £1k raised a bonus beloved recipe is going into the booklet!
crowdfunder.co.uk
It's a Superpower?? Season Two
To fund season 2 of It's a Superpower?? the first audio sitcom by & for autistic people - & pay our amazing team an industry rate
0199
Reposted by The Daily Tism
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
Aidan Michaels, 33, insists that he doesn’t have autism, and who doesn’t have an iPhone folder full of screenshots of really cool numbers? Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism...
A man stands in a sunny street, wearing a plaid shirt and sunglasses. He is looking down at his watch
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 01/10/2026
The first of the It’s a Superpower?? bonus content is live on Patreon! Want to know what Bums’s mum said to Norah during THAT phone call? Listen through, it becomes increasingly desperate.
patreon.com
IAS?? bonus! Bums's mum's side of the phone call | The Daily Tism
IAS?? bonus! Bums's mum's side of the phone call by The Daily Tism on Patreon. Join The Daily Tism's community for exclusive content and updates.
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Sara Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Clickbait headline: the tragic reason Bums had milk in his shoes
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Alan @bikesnfoodnbeer.eurosky.social · 01/10/2026
Also…
Odometer of an Alfa Romeo 145 showing 079970 miles.Odometer from the same Alfa Romeo 145 showing 080000 having returned home from the journey on which it passed 079970 at the stopping point.
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