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The Deep Magic

@the-deep-magic.bsky.social
65 followers 123 following 594 posts

A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (now with dashes instead of underscores)

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Bookshop.org @bookshop.org · 06/10/2026
Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through midnight on 10/7, enjoy free shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.
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toilet bones @toiletbones.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Found the email I sent when I got accidentally added to the faculty listserv of an orthopedic surgery clinic and nobody would remove me so I sent this email to all faculty/staff/med students and they removed me almost immediately
Hello Bone Colleagues, 
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans. 

--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine 
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Twice in a week! (though this one isn't nearly impressive as the last one) Wordle 1,933 2/6 🟩⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 WordleBot Skill 58/99 Luck 81/99
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
More Democrats need to be telling the online casino owners behind Polymarket to shut the fuck up
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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Anyway, a movie culture without the possibility of insane overpriced whiffs will be a less healthy movie culture, and I'll eat these words the day that I can say that David Ellison has taken at least three big creative gambles, but I'm not holding my breath. x
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
When will it be MY turn to run a sex cult in Berkeley, California?
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Ha ha ha, holy shit. Wordle 1,931 2/6 🟨⬛⬛🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 WordleBot Skill 99/99 Luck 99/99
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Just realized we're a few months into the 12-18 month period where Callum Turner will be starring in every movie. Call it the Jude Law Cycle.
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Heart of the Beast (2026)
CUSTOM MILITARY PET PORTRAITS

Brad Pitt makes a wistful face with his not gay German Shepherd

"unlimited revisions. free shipping. minimal AI. you look straight. nazi tats hidden. wistful faces"

"Customer must provide proof that pet is not gay or trans"
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
When Lucy from Compass Books in Dartmouth, Devon, was victim to shoplifting people told her to install CCTV. Instead she put this ancient book thief curse on the wall from the Monastery of San Pedro in Barcelona so book stealers would be consumed by "the flames of hell" with "their members blasted".
A Curse Against Stealers Of Books
For him that
stealth a book from
this place, let it
change into a
serpent in his hand
and rend him.
Let him be struck with
palsy,
& all his members 
blasted.
Let him languish in 
pain crying aloud for
mercy, & let there be be no surcease to his 
agony till he sink to
dissolution.
Let bookworms gnaw
his entrails in token of 
the Worm that diets not,
& when at last he
goeth to his final
punishment, let the
flames of
hell consume him
forever & aye.
(Monastery Of San Pedro, Barcelona.)
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yeah, I follow a "vintagetvstars" Tumblr account that frequently posts screenshots from... Buffy. As I crumble into dust.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Forgot I'd switched the radio station from classical symphony to pops and had a very confused moment of "the fuck did we go from Rachmaninoff straight into the Galaxy Quest theme?"
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
New Upstairs Neighbor goes to the alley to smoke pot 2-3 times a day which is fine (better than doing it in his apt where it leaks down into mine through the heater grate), but he spends the ENTIRE TIME coughing this HORRIBLE HACKING COUGH, and I dunno, dude, maybe it's time to switch to edibles?
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Hooray! But also: yikes.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I don't doubt that Backrooms is scary, but without context, the trailer is hilarious. There's STUFF in this room! It is an UNUSUAL shape! The lighting is POOR!
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Daniel Carlson @danielwcarlson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Horror movie villains: 60s: psycho killers 70s: ghosts 80s: slashers 90s: slashers (self-aware) 00s: diseases 10s: trauma 20s: hallways
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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The Associated Press @apnews.com · 25/09/2026
Pour yourself a cup of ambition. It’s Dolly Parton Day.
bit.ly
It's officially Dolly Parton Day, with parades, pink lights and book drives
Communities worldwide are dedicating Friday to honoring Dolly Parton. The day falls on Sept. 25, a wink at her hit song “9 to 5.”
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Ridley Scott’s 2010 Robin Hood is kind of a mess, but it’s impossible to hate à movie where Oscar Isaac plays the King of England.
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The Social Reckoning (2026)
Jeremy Strong, doing a much better impersonation of Mark Zuckerberg, to the point you can't bear to listen or watch.

"From Aaron Sorkin, writer of the Social Network but not David Fincher. So Don't Get Your Hopes up"

DO YOU REALLY
WANNA SPEND
ANOTHER 2 HOURS
THINKING ABOUT ME?
WE COULDN'T EVEN GET
TRENT REZNOR BACK

The Social Reckoning
Really? that's the title? Woof.
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
you left out the fifth scenario
President Donald Trump died when he hit a golf ball at a tree and it bounced back and bonked him in the nuts and then the tree fell and squashed him flat and his body hat to be peeled off the fairway

Positive 95%
Negative 7%
Net sentiment +88%
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char @charloween.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
You know what day it is!
youtu.be
Earth, Wind & Fire - September (Official HD Video)
YouTube video by EarthWindandFireVEVO
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
This person wrote "lozenges" as "lasanges," so I spent a good 15 seconds horrified at what the hell a "nicotine lasagne" could possibly be.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
No, you can't. I hope you're able to take care of yourself through all this.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
That sucks. I know how much time you've spent worrying about him and trying to get him help. ♥️
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Kingfisher & Wombat @tkingfisher.com · 18/09/2026
…yeah, okay, that’s pretty much it.
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Nicolas Hénin @nicolashenin.net · 17/09/2026
Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!
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👻 🎃 🦇 Boola Lughosti's Dad 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇵🇸 @belalugosisdad.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Personally I would not pick this fight with the youtube guy who demonstrates all the ways he can nail you with an arrow at 200 yards using his feet while wearing 12-inch Pleasers, whose wife can also kill you with her bare hands, and has 9 billionteen followers who are all trans women with swords.
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shaunt @shaunvids.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
it is remarkable that this has happened despite a near-unanimous effort from mainstream politicians and news media to prevent it from happening. there's some hope there
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
::dusts off my Zack Snyder is a Fucking Hack banner:: Haven't had to use this in a while, but damn am I glad I had it printed up. You cannot make a movie demonizing "effeminate" male characters and then try to claim you made a gay movie on purpose. Or I guess you can... if you're a fucking hack.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'm just saying, if anyone's gonna make it to the top of the greased lamppost, it's Malala.
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Sam Adams @samadams.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I wrote about the four-hour documentary about the world’s most dangerous man. (Gift link) #TIFF26
slate.com
Some People Think Elon Musk Snapped. The Controversial Four-Hour Documentary About Him Suggests Something Else. (Gift Article)
Alex Gibney’s movie has an unfortunate twist.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD
Sign for artisanal chocolate-dipped frozen bananas with “bananas” and “$10” circled in red
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Courtney Milan @courtneymilan.com · 09/09/2026
Since we are here, I want to point out that DreamSpinner did register some copyrights. I don't know how many of their registered copyrights have reverted to them, but I'm guessing they'll get into the six figures from the Anthropic settlement.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Dear Instagram: if you’re gonna show me millennial nostalgia bait Disney World posts, at least show me CORRECT millennial nostalgia bait Disney World posts. You think I don’t know the exact venue where they showed Captain EO?
static.klipy.com
Elrond: I Was There, Gandalf
Alt: Elrond: I Was There, Gandalf
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Kelly Carlin-McCall @kellycarlin.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
If we can come together to do this, we can surely fix our democracy.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
You must, of course, read this in your inner Werner Herzog voice.
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Michael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I know this is a common belief, but it’s not true. If people went anti-vaxx/MAHA because they were excluded from the medical establishment, we would see sky-high rates among poor people, minorities and the uninsured. We don’t.
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Dr. Lucky Tran @luckytran.com · 05/09/2026
I did not have Tetris needing to put out anti-fascist statements on my bingo card, but here we are
At Tetris we believe in the power of connection and bringing people together, not dividing them. To our fans everywhere: we love you, we see you, and we're grateful to have you in our community.

P.S. The Tetris Company was not involved in the creation of 'Build the Wall.
P.P.S. We take copyright infringement very seriously.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Best part of Coyote vs. Acme: the hard-hitting realism
Screenshot of text: In what might be the most plausible line of dialogue in any film about litigation, one member of Coyote’s legal team wonders aloud about who will pay for the photocopying.
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U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov · 04/09/2026
Product safety is not always like the movies. Here, we have resources.
A realistic coyote sitting in a cave on a gaming chair at a laptop as the sun sets outside. They are wearing reading glasses and looking at SaferProducts.gov. The text reads: In the real world, the coyote checks and reports unsafe products on SaferProducts.gov. A sign next to the coyote says, "Air fryer trash! Started smoking without roadrunner!" There is an air fryer in the corner on fire labeled, "Roadrunner air fryer X.L." In the background, outside the cave, a roadrunner says, "Beep! Beep!" and leaves a big trail of dust. Other text reads: Check for injuries before you buy or sell a product, and report unsafe products to CPSC!
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Rima I Anabtawi @rimaanabtawi.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Lo and behold, vaccines work!
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
You wake up. The Pope is in your kitchen and has cooked you breakfast. You two have a dick-measuring contest, which ends when the Pope threatens to destroy your life's work, shoots both of your mugs, and flies away. You are Halandil Fang. #criticalrole
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. You should watch it. 😂
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Chuck Tingle @chucktingle.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
i always change one or two small details
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
After 10 months (!!!) almost to the day of the apartment above mine sitting empty, someone has now moved in, so that sound you hear is whatever mental health I have accumulated over the past year swan diving out the window.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Ah, Whole Nine Yards is a good one. I should watch that again.
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The Deep Magic @the-deep-magic.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Without saying your age, what is your favorite movie that came out when you were 20 years old?
static.klipy.com
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) wields Anduril in LotR
ALT: Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) wields Anduril in LotR
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