iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

This meme is an admission of weakness.

Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Her name was Spam, Likely Spam. We were young and full of dreams, but my dreams weren't her dreams. I thought I'd never hear from her again.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

This Montresor guy’s so funny. Every time he lays a brick, I knock the one behind it onto the floor. Then, when he bends down to pick it up, I knock the other one down too. It’s fun, but I’m getting a little thirsty. When are we going to sample that wine?

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I’m an Oompa-Loompa, it's my day off, and I'm spending it with my Oompa-Loompa family at the Oompa-Loompa park. We're laughing and smiling and having a good time and I won’t find out till tomorrow that the machine I operate, the Taffy Puller, has stretched, folded, and aerated a child named Chauncy.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I’ve never seen a dog eat another dog. I have, however, seen a dog eat a whole block of cheese. It's a dog-eat-cheese world out there.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

PERSON: I don't like that guy. He uses big words just to sound smart. YOU NEXT TIME YOU HEAR THIS: I hate it when people do that. What big words? PERSON WHO NOW SMELLS A TRAP: Oh, you know, big words. Fancy ones. YOU: Such as? PERSON: Well, now I don't want to say.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Jokes on you, Monkey’s Paw, a haunting example of how you should be careful what you wish for is what I secretly wanted all along!

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Emmanuelle 1 -- We have made an art film! It has sex! Get with the times! It's 1974! That's what art films do now! Emmanuelle 24 --

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

This many Radiohead songs trending has got to be a recession indicator

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Reposted by Skrimshander

Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

we're just normal men

Woman (rose byrne I think?) leaning her head against a CGI rabbit

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Reposted by Skrimshander

more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

biblically accurate angel who's showing a lot of cleavage: hey pal, my eyes are everywhere else

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

No one sings songs about being a little teacup anymore.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Telling God, the omniscient creator of the universe that you don’t know where your brother is (the brother you just murdered and who also happened to be 1/4th of the total world population) is so unbelievably funny that almost everyone forgets to laugh. “Am I my brother’s keeper” ← comedy gold

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I pass the background check in 8 mins. The clerk scoots the gun across the counter. I pick it up. It feels good. Real good. I step towards the door. "Hey, you can’t go out like that. Did you bring a holster?" My eyes narrow. "If not, I can sell you one for $15." My grip tightens.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Oh no, we're the SANE clown posse. We've all been working on our mental health. Well, most of us.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Miami Vice is a textbook example of a director letting his own aesthetic eat, digest, and expel a movie. But then halfway through Gong Li & Colin Farrell hook up, and no one has ever had more on-screen chemistry in the history of cinema. If I saw this in my teens, it would have ruined me.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

You remember life on the Internet before 2024. Every viral post had 200+ right-wingers in the comments saying the same thing: “Epstein didn’t kill himself.” Now, the position is that he definitely did, and anyone who says otherwise is a commie sympathizer.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Sometimes you run into things on Wikipedia that the internet--had it discovered that thing 10 years ago--would have been a different place.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

If you lose a soccer game 1 to 4, that’s rough. But what if you lose a soccer game 1 to 4 after your dad runs onto the field, takes the ref aside, and gets him to reverse a call after a heated debate with lots of kissing? Is that better or worse?

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Love is when you compliment me on my wonderful backstroke form 1 minute after complimenting me on the wonderful interpretive dance that flipped the canoe.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Imagine this; a coworkers gets accused of being a lazy narcissist. You’re in different departments, so you can’t say if he is/isn’t. Later, he posts a picture of himself holding up the world, draped in the American flag. Again, you don’t know him, so you reserve judgement, but it’s getting harder.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

What happens when the murders go into the negative numbers, and the dead begin to rise from Green-Wood Cemetery? What then, liberals?

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Not to brag, but I can go bankrupt for way less.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Mark Twain famously said, "Humor is tragedy plus time." but it's been 2,500 years and Antigone hasn't gotten any funnier.

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Reposted by Skrimshander

dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/06/2024

After the worldwide success of "Cat's in the Cradle", Harry Chapin's follow-up single "Baby's in the Litter Box" fell flat with critics and audiences alike

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

The Nazis had wrong and deeply weird opinions on the Vikings. Does this mean that having wrong and deeply weird opinions about the Vikings makes you a Nazi? No, but you should probably clarify that you’re being wrong and deeply weird about the Vikings in a not-Nazi way.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

“The sooner I cut toxic people out of my life/fire those underperforming employees/purge the Red Army, the sooner I can get back to thriving.” If your girlfriend/boss/General Secretary says this, go “Yaas, Queen.” The sooner they destroy themselves the sooner you can get back to thriving.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

The constant barrage of Facebook memes from official government accounts saying it’s all going to be OK are correct actually. I don’t see why you’re so upset. The president just told you—800 times—that everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine, we're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

People out here saying that Bear should have wished to be Nikki’s type or wished for the courage to ask her out. That’s wrong. Bear should have wished to not be the object of a cautionary tale. His problem isn’t word choice. His problem is W. W. Jacobs.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

It wasn’t always like this. Before Reagan, you could run away. Join the circus. Now, all the clowns are freelance, & the lions roam the streets. “Nathan!” people shout. “Take off your big red clown shoes & run!” But the lions are going to get me anyway, & a clown without his shoes is but a man.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

My favorite thing about the bicycle of education is that—while each wheel does 4 things—the pedals do nothing.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

Thinking about all those bullets that missed King Kong as he was climbing the Empire State Building. Huge 7.7 mm Vickers machine gun rounds ripping through flats and bodegas all over the 5 Burroughs.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

The backlash to the new God of War spinoff, Laufey, is mind boggling, especially as it’s coming from men who claim to be straight. If your crush on Deborah Ann Woll, doesn’t go all the way back to True Blood, you have terrible taste. She has been the connoisseur’s choice since 2009.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

As the title of a neo-noir novel, Inherent Vice goes so hard that you almost forget it’s the name of a clause in an insurance policy.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

AI can be harnessed to analyze your bowel movements AND invent new books of the Bible whole-cloth. Incredible technology, but can it invent new bowel movements wholecloth? No, that’s where I come in.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

ME: Would you care for a Sour Patch kid? YOU: Sure. ME: Her name is Samanthary. She's allergic to peanuts and has therapy on Tuesdays. SAMANTHARY: The patch was sour, but it was ours.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

In the 1950s, gay-conversion therapy pioneer Kart Frund used alternating currents to zap the gay OUT of his patients while vehemently opposing the idea that—by the same logic—a direct current could zap the gay IN. (🧵 1/3)

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Hosts in Pilgrim’s Progress be like, “Welcome to our humble home, weary traveler. These are my daughters—

excerpt from a treatise on the four feminine phenotypes with portraits for the Practical, Sensible, Sensitive, and Nymphomaniac types

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

FIREMAN: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. REAGAN: Those are the 8 scariest words in the English language. No thank you! KEVIN O’LEARY FROM SHARK TANK: Hi, I’m Kevin O’Leary from Shark Tank. REAGAN: Oh thank God, it’s you. My house is on fire.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

This is a good butt. All that makes it a butt is there. Did I want to see more? Yes, because the model had the most epic butt in the history of Greek butts, but Picasso wanted to use as few lines as possible, & I respect his decision. This post is about Emily Wilson’s translation of the Odyssey.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

Because the only number that’s actually countless is zero, you can tell anyone, “I’ve spent countless nights thinking about the two of us—you and I—together on a sailboat trip around the world.” Well, anyone besides me, but we don’t need to talk about that. If you don’t want to.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

Can’t sleep? Disturbed by these uncertain times. For $8 a month, unlock access to unlimited Dad+. Get nightly tuck-ins, daily reassurances, thermostat tutorials, action movies played at low volume in the living room.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

You’ll often hear it called “The War of Northern Aggression” around here, because while it’s embarrassing to lose a fight, it’s unbearable to lose one that you started.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Well, I think it was Kernal Mustard with a Rolling pen in the Drawing Room

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Reposted by Skrimshander

Cullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

cowboy who stubbed his toe:

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

Love it when the Wikipedia editors are feeling spicy

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 30/03/2026

Sometimes a cow will say, “Let’s walk over there.” And the other cows will be like, “Alright.” Does this cow then think of herself as the leader, the Alpha Cow? Maybe. I don’t know a lot about cows.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

Sometimes a new Star Wars writer will notice that Stormtroopers are doing all the jobs on Imperial bases. That feels unrealistic, so they’ll add technicians or a new kind of Stormtrooper (the Officetrooper). It’s a good instinct, but George knew what he was about.

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Skrimshander @skrimshander.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

So many boomer dads out here championing the Bee as THE Great White Hope of conservative comedy while its writers stagger through the dark, grasping at questions like “Do babies do drink warm milk or cold?”

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