iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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ari velazquez 🌯 @ari.velazquez.fyi · 01/10/2026

steam: this game you've had installed for two years but never played has an update. we'll download it next week me: no you'll download it right now motherfucker. and i will sit here and watch it download. steam: so you're gonna play it? me: fuck you

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

A kind reminder that is ethical and correct to kill individual mosquitoes. While not technically predators, they see humans exclusively as a food source an thus every interaction between our species is necessarily a confrontation. To the death, if you manage to catch these flying motherfuckers

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This is always crazy cause its not like the conversation doesn't matter, but this mentality of "I'm being ethical when I demand accountability from the starving artists drawing porn for a living" is just social media brainrot at its finest

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

This is actually really funny cause like every other villain that guy was nothing if not performative and they would be PISSED to find out they barely made the new the next day

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

And yet you just know WotC will revive this asshole eventually. Successful fantasy franchises really end up recycling the same unsufferable dude forever until they go out of business

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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

priests in Rome in 320 AD trying to explain to Emperor Constantine who their temple is dedicated to worshipping:

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

To understand the nature of mankind it is critical to internalize that the 4 most absolutely critical innovations of our kind were, unequivocally in that order: 1. Sharp rocks and pointy sticks 2. How to make controlled fire 3. Sex dolls 4. Agriculture

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Topher Florence @topherflorence.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

look its simple: if roger rabbit is exonerated the toons gain control of the acme corporation leading to "coyote vs acme". if roger rabbit is convicted, humans retain control as seen in "looney tunes: back in action". if marvin acme is never killed then chip and dale rescue rangers (2022) happens

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

What people don't understand is that if that shit was a normal sight in the tropical side of the atlantic coast, this continent would have not been colonized. It is impossible to overstate how much the Canadian goose hates you, specifically

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

The nature of mankind is such that Sun Tzu will be relevant until the end of our time, because we will be accepting stupid people appointed by leaders in charge until the end of time so long as there is even thinnest layer of social structure behind it

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

...well I guess at least it is now clear how he managed to murder the previous pope with only a handshake

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS POSTING MY MOURNING ROUTINE HERE

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Porra eu nao gostei que lancaram mais uma edicao baseada em Tolkien mas pqp hobbits de cartorio eh foda

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

This is stupid it is genuinely funny. Like its sad and horrifying but its also so warhammer Orkz coded

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

This is really the definition of the human experience. You will collectively think this is a beautiful portent of science, and also how neat it would be to fuck inside of it. While also being disgusted it is a fucking whale. Truly, we contain multitudes

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LolotovCocktail @lolotovcocktail.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

"Warhammer is a serious setting!" The serious setting:

An event in Total War: Warhammer 3 under the Ogre Kingdoms. The event is titled "My Tiny Horse", like My Little Pony. It describes the following event:

Your scouts stumble across a secret valley, home to a diminutive and hitherto undiscovered equine species. Their hides are all the colours of the rainbow, their manes are long and vibrant, their eyes are huge and kindly. Truly, they are a wonder. By nightfall, every one of them is in the pot.

Meat: +100 for Glogg Thickskull

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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

When the weather gets hot, please take special care for the goths in your life. With their floor-length coats, platform shoes, and velvet capes, it’s hard for them to thermoregulate as we do.

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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

When my Civ VI game gets really interesting

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Imagine you work at the job you know in your heart is your calling. And for a company fully dedicated to your area too. Now imagine your CEO, widely regarded as one of the biggest names around, making you apologize to him specifically for fucking up so bad.

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Matt Baume 🏳️‍🌈 @mattbaume.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

Happy Pride to this Caravaggio self-portrait that made one man so gay he had to go to the hospital

Caravaggio's Baccus painting, featuring a lush fruity spread and leaves bedecking a pasty twink who only works out his arms

Article screenshot that says:

The most extreme examples of
Stendhal syndrome share a sensation of
self-fragmentation. Magherini
describes the case of a 53-year-old
German man who was hospitalized
after repeatedly viewing Caravaggio's
Bacchus at Uffizi Gallery. The patient
felt "an attraction closer and closer to
an intimate sexual arousal of
ambiguous nature that invaded him
and made him feel good and bad."
Unmoored and distressed, he sought
medical attention. After treating the
subject's initial episode, Magherini
writes that he came to recognize his
latent homosexuality. Another case...

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Fintan Mallory @fintanmallory.com · 25/05/2026

THE POPE IS QUOTING GANDALF!!!

213. The twentieth-century Catholic author J.R.R. Tolkien, in the words of a protagonist in one of his novels, described our responsibility in this way: “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till.”

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Old Hobbes 🔜 Private Practice @hobbesq.bolasgang.com · 25/05/2026

I mean Tolkien was Catholic after all. I would love to see him quote Gandalf more... Maybe throw us a

static.klipy.com

Gandalf's Wisdom: Lord Of The Rings Quote

Alt: Gandalf's Wisdom: Lord Of The Rings Quote

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

Porra eu odeio compartilhar coisa do Trump mas n tem como, viado. O filho da puta questionado se vai no casamento do proprio filho: "he is a very, uh...person I've known for a long time" Cara?????

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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

“Feud with the Pope” is BACK as a likely Wikipedia section heading after a 400-year gap.

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Christoph Harig @charig.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Foram presos todos os membros do TCP - Terceiro Comando da Pomerania

A lot of dogs (lulus da pomerania) in the trunk of a police car. #DrugBust

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

I'm not one to glaze politicians but I mean this is crazy. They got like NOTHING on him. Not even made up stuff, just nothing at all

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

You know what this is an excellent way of getting your point theough some impressively stupid people, congratulations

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Soon, in an AI hospital near you:

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Seedy E @seedye.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Remembering the ancient ways

Screenshot from a BBC educational website. The expanded section reads:

"10. How to be polite and show respect

In the old days of feudal Japan, a samurai warrior would shout

You are trying to view Flash content, but you have no Flash plugin installed."

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Gaziter @gaziter.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

she slaying all over the spire

Fanart of Necrobinder from the game Slay the Spire 2

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Ornitier, ominous sunray ☀️ @lazulikhan.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

O carioca quando qualquer coisa legal acontece no Rio de Janeiro:

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 18/02/2026

I really like how the Sikh faith is the only one I know that makes it mandatory for you to carry a blade at all times, and the whole basis for it is basically the real life version of this:

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 10/02/2026

O ponto final forcando a pausa na entonacao esta me destruindo senhor pq eu NAO CONSIGO nao ler isso na voz do William Boner

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JLRay @jlray.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

unironically a good idea

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

A major cultural shift in representation for the kind of white people that can make their problems go away by simply being loud and eating sugar

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Popehat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 21/10/2025

Top causes of serious injury among out-of-shape Americans: 1. Pickle ball 2. ICE tryouts 3. Fell off couch onto wineglass

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 30/09/2025

Usually I voice the opinion that american scoiecty in general clings too much to 9/11 but this is kinda fucked up

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

Always crazy to remember JD Vance by his own account started his path into immorality by thinking that as a MTG nerd he wasn't getting any and he just literally never grew out of that high school mentality of masking to adapt to whatever social circle he can work himself into

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Deneb @tellardeneb.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

The flight attendants and CUPE have won against Air Canada *and* the government. Their leadership was fearless and made a stand we should all be proud of. Unions work!

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Shroudmaster @shroudmaster1.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Uma questao interessante q eu n tinha pensado, mas realmente a popularidade do Lula tinha caido bastante e pode voltar a subir com uma posicao nacionalista se o complexo de vira lata n latir mais alto

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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

[any sensible or helpful thing is contemplated by an American]

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