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Seph Hallow

@sephhallow.bsky.social
231 followers 217 following 595 posts

Writer. Met David Sedaris once. I don't think he enjoyed it. (they/them) sephhallow.com

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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Context - I was definitely mildly stoned - This is not something we make in the UK. I had never even had a Graham cracker before - I still don't understand why you pronounce "Graham", "gram." It's a two-syllable word, people!
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Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
One of the best job applications ever written came from the hands of Robert Pirosh in 1934. MGM loved it, took him on and in 1949 he won an Oscar for ‘Battleground’.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
This really did happen.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Sometimes going to the gym has extra rewards
A photo of a short letter typed (on a typewriter!), on lined yellow paper. The letter reads: SEPHY IS CUTE TELL YOUR FRIENDS. A caption has been superimposed on the letter. It reads: Love letter in the ass pocket of my gym shorts. Why, thank you!
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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Personal Trainer: what are your goals? Me: to pet all the dogs. PT: no, fitness goals. Me: to be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
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Sandieglo @sandieglo.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
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Rain DeGrey @raindegrey.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
The D&D, kinky, and poly crossover is basically a stack of pancakes I said what I said
a pic of a magnificent green tentacle rising high and dwarfing 5 overwhelmed-looking minis, with copy reading:

The Players: What the fuck
DM: I didn't have a Kraken mini-
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
This is a great question. Yes, 100% of the time these days. It took me an age to learn to have patience with my writing and sit on it (especially when social media pushes you to get everything out FAST), but sleeping on a draft ALWAYS makes for a better piece.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
First direct comment on my blog since I re-launched the site a few months ago. I cannot describe how much joy this brings. If you have read any of my work: thank you.
A screenshot of an email, telling me I have a comment on my latest blog (title: Depression: The Shitty Kitty You Need to Put Down). The comment reads: Thanks you Saph [sic]. We don't know each other, and it's extremely unlikely we'll ever meet, but I want to say it's good to know you're there in this cheek-flushed non-sprint of mental health issues. And for this briefest of moments, I'm there too. - Rich
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
New blog post! Today we're talking depression, in the funniest way I know how. www.sephyhallow.com/blog/2026/8/...
sephyhallow.com
Depression: The Shitty Kitty You Need to Put Down — Craft Dinner
Depression is the worst pet. Illustration by Alex Steacy .
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Me, looking at the final draft of something I've just finished: I think it's one of the best things I've ever written! I'll probably hate it in the morning.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
I don't care what you do with your body, but I care what happens to mine. And my body can fit into my skinny jeans again.
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Luca Migo @victinibcn.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Today, on everyone’s screen.
Movie poster a black figure holding a cell phone, a road at night below and the McConnells.
Text: I KNOW
THAT YOU DIED
THIS SUMMER
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
For aren't we all Jimothy - bent by factors beyond our control, yet hobbling after our dreams despite impediment?
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Jimothy the Raccoon @jimothythe-raccoon.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Thought it might be appreciated here. #jimothy #jimothyraccoon
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Writing comedy in chronic pain is just channeling Great Clown Pagliacci vibes
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
The internet is testing me, but no, I will not be engaging with racist Odyssey discourse from dudes who don't know Ithaca from Ibiza
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
What's sad is 2026 is like Cabaret, but all the costumes are literally from Shein. Even our nihilistic hedonism has been enshittified.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Hey writers! What's the dumbest creation you're super proud of? I'll go first: I added some magical realism to our slice-of-life relationship comic and turned Alex's ice-cream machine into a sentient house bot called CreamBoi. LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER THAT CAME FROM MY BRAIN. Your turn!
A panel from the comic Wazzocks. To the right is Seph, a white enby with glasses. Looking terrified, they clutch their phone and repeat unsteadily: "Cream...Boi?" To the left of the panel is a bipedal robot with a barrel ice-cream machine chest. His eyes glow, he appears to have a mechanical smile, and he is labelled around the middle: CreamBoi.
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David Sims @davidlsims.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
if I ever taught film criticism lesson one would be “you being smarter than the movie is not interesting to anyone”
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Abba.
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Disco Elysium Quotes @discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Reframing is a powerful psychological tool
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I wish for AI to die in a bonfire.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Until recently this arcade cabinet was living with @alexsteacy.bsky.social. I can't wait to see Alex and Ian tinker with it!
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
If there is a god, Macklemore will write a hit song about Jimothy
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Roller derby is one of the biggest, most woman-centred sports on the planet. Its biggest professional body is WFTDA (Women's Flat Track Derby Association). WFTDA expressly encourages trans athletes to play roller derby alongside our cis-ters.
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Jimothy the Raccoon @jimothythe-raccoon.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Seen in downtown Cleveland today #jimothy #seattle #jimothyraccoon
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Strange thing I have had a hard time admitting publicly, because trans folks are already misunderstood. Women are the most ethereal, beautiful, stoic creatures. As a child I yearned to be a woman or Legolas...and I am AFAB. Trying to perform as a woman always felt like a very thin lie.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
If you don't have an MD, you shouldn't be allowed to call yourself a doctor. *Stares directly at naturopaths, chiropractors, and Bob Fucking Larson*
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Aww beans I died of black lung
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
This is stunning. I have multiple favourite quotes, including this (edited for brevity): "Freedom... is when...Somebodies refuse to crumple under a snooty nose or crooked law"
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Playboy calling out incels is the funniest shit I have ever seen
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Confused backstage at an "interpretive tango" event.
Seph, a non-binary white person, takes a selfie in a bathroom mirror. Their face is scrunched up in confusion. Their black sweatshirt says "A little ray of pitch black" in black text; the tiles of the bathroom and the frame on the oval mirror are also black.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Another sign of being trans-masc: I was very much defeated
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I've gotta be honest: I'd rather have imperfect allies than enemies. Education should feel like letting people in, not calling them out. And also Ken Jennings is being a shitty little bitch.
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Sarah Forde 🌙🪡 @sailorastera.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Happy anniversary of that time the post office asked me to provide evidence that my package was not delivered.
A series of photos of me pointing to places where packages could be like inside of a mailbox or on the front porch or in my hands except there is nothing there
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Give this man an NYT op ed It's the next logical step on our descent to hell
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ashley (ravens 2-1) 🌹 @clearlyashley.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
trans rights frankly is a top 5, potentially top 3 issue for me despite not being trans and not having any trans family being bigoted against trans folks not only hurts my trans friends and every trans person but is so predictive of further bigotry
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Jon of The North @krauza.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I don't want a "Smart Fridge" that orders milk for me. I want a fridge that lasts 25 years and doesn't have a privacy policy that allows it to share my late-night snacking habits with my health insurance provider.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
We seem to be going through cycles of disappointment over public figured letting us down. As someone who so estranged from family for similar reasons: you're going to be ok. It's going to really hurt for a while, it might even make you question your roots, but you'll come out better for it.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
ADHD can literally been seen in the brain structure and the inhibited uptake of serotonin. Can it be worsened by environment? Yes. Pretty much any condition can.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
My glowing review for Obsession is after seeing it I needed an Ativan.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
"They say it takes a village" means "community helps", not "BUY A FUCKING VILLAGE"
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
This is kinda petty, but I love making someone move their bag from a free seat in a crowded public place (like on transit). It's like saying, "Yes, I am a human being. I deserve space, moreso than your inanimate object. I will assert my right to exist in a world that keeps asking me to shrink."
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Made some new friends lately. The deer and the cuddling dog and cat I spotted while taking a stroll in the neighbourhood. I feel so lucky to be here.
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Jooli-AHH! Boolia 👻🍂🎃 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
We need a slop registry called "I Spy AI", to keep tabs on which brands are using it to steal for fun and profit.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Culturally reassuring English didn't make it to the final. My home nation winning the World Cup would make me fully believe we were in an alternate timeline.
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Seph Hallow @sephhallow.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
To be candid: lifting is the best thing I have ever done for my mental health. I love therapy. Hell, I want to BE A THERAPIST. I take the helpful pills. But lifting? It just gives me so much more emotional strength and resilience.
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