Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Just clocking out from the nuclear waste factory and boy are my arms fourteen legs. 0323
Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 06/09/2026What do you mean the boys are back in town? Buddy, the boys died exactly 50 years ago this very night, in this town. *haunting guitar riff echoes in the nigh-illuminated fields of wheat* 02311
Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 01/12/2024I’m begging all of you: please stop pulling over and asking if I need a ride. I’m giving you a thumbs-up so you know you’re doing a good job driving. Also, yes. I do need a ride. 0876
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Here’s an essay I wrote about it medium.com/@samgrittner...medium.comThe Last RodeoToday marks 3 years since I last consumed drugs or alcohol and that, my friends, is fucking awesome. Lots of sugar, too many cigarettes but… 193
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Today marks 3 years since I last consumed drugs or alcohol. Lots of sugar, too many cigarettes but no booze or pills or pot or inhalants. Yes, I still sniff gas twice a year — no one is perfect. I wrote an essay about this, check out out here if you're interested: medium.com/@samgri.../t....medium.comMedium 5160
Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 05/09/2026The 5 stages of unemployment are: 1. Watch 2. Every 3. Season 4. of 5. The Wire 0103
Reposted by Sam GrittnerBill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 06/09/2026duran duran girls on film tune 1854360
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Imagine this happening and still getting buried in a regular-sized coffin. Not only did you die but the procedure wasn’t even a success. 130
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 06/09/2026What do you mean the boys are back in town? Buddy, the boys died exactly 50 years ago this very night, in this town. *haunting guitar riff echoes in the nigh-illuminated fields of wheat* 02311
Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Orgies?! Oh hell no, I don’t even like being in a group chat. 071
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 05/09/2026“Who’s got two thumbs and can get you into a Candy Crush-themed above-ground pool TODAY?” 031
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 05/09/2026The 5 stages of unemployment are: 1. Watch 2. Every 3. Season 4. of 5. The Wire 0103
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/07/2026I know everyone has been clamoring to know so, I’ll tell you: Rosco remains the Best Good Boy. Good day! 62014
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/07/2026“Is the World As You Know It Dying in Front of Your Eyes? Here’s why tie-dyeing will never go out of style…” 040
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 21/03/2026“Yeah… I’m thinking, your back.’” - John Wick, chiropractor 020
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 20/03/2026When I see someone unironically wearing their “The Office” t-shirt in the year of our Lord 2026, I seethe with jealously. To be a smooth-brained simpleton hooplehead who walks into a public bathroom and tries to pry an air dryer from the wall because they “found a free wind machine!” God bless. 010
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Trump isn’t playing 4D chess, he’s eating Monopoly pieces and shooting everyone in Guess Who? in the face. 010
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 20/03/2026This like saying, “I won the Powerball! They just need to pick my numbers.” 040
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 27/02/2026“Well, that depends on what the definition of jizz is” - Bill Clinton, testifying about Epstein today 130
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 20/02/2026when all sound stops and all you taste is ash because you start to understand you might not be able to watch the season finale of INDUSTRY live on Sunday, March 26th at 9pm eastern 010
Reposted by Sam GrittnerCullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 19/02/2026ok its time for the feelings post: folks the show Strip Law comes out tomorrow on Netflix i never thought id get my own thing to show everyone what i think is funny. i spent the last 2.5ish years (along with tons of other creatives to be lauded later) putting my entire being into this show... 551480153
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 20/02/2026“Brought to you by the NBA? I tip my trunks to you, National Bath Association, you’ve truly whet my appetite for more soggy sports!” 000
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Ask your doctor if questions are right for you. 042
Reposted by Sam GrittnerCullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 06/01/2026"Makin' online jokes done lost it's flavor," he spit into the dying fire. "I think I'm quit." "Maybe it's quit a' you," answered a voice from deep within him. "Maybe" he replied, chewing the last of his beans. In the distance some coyotes gibbered. Almost like laughter. "Maybe" 423725
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Oh hey I adopted a dog last year. This is Rosco and this is my favorite picture of him, just absolutely crashed out after partying for a week straight 070
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Orgies?! Oh hell no, I don’t even like being in a group chat. 071
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 26/01/2026It’s so cool that Steve Bannon hasn’t faced any consequences for being The Pedophile Rehabilitator. He was besties with Epstein RIGHT BEFORE he went to jail the 2nd time but I still see him being quoted like he’s a Serious Person instead of part of the elite cabal he’s a card carrying member of 021
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 23/01/2026If you don’t want to be a called a Nazi then stop doing Nazi shit. 040
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 30/12/2025Great news: I finally overcame my imposter syndrome! Bad news: I killed my identical twin. 020
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 08/10/2025TRUMP: “The time has come to send the Mayor of Chicago and the Governor of Illinois to gitmo!” DEMOCRATS via text message: “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Reply with a $25 donation to make your voice heard! We will NOT be afraid! We will NOT shut up! We will NOT do anything beyond convey empty rhetoric!” 030
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 08/10/2025Mr. Beast is going to win an Emmy for a video called something like, “LAST ORPHAN OUT AT THE MURDER-SUICIDE MANSION!” 040
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 08/10/2025Is the news leaving you depressed? Does the world make you sad now? Is each day worst than the one before? WELCOME TO HOW I’VE FELT MY ENTIRE LIFE, bitches! Shit sucks, don’t it? Just SMILE! 030
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 08/10/2025The Oregon Trail but instead of fjording a river you throw used car batteries in it. Instead of killing animals for meat you build a data center in the forest. Instead of dying from dysentery you die from smallpox AND dysentery. 040
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 08/10/2025INCUMBENT TITTY SUCKER, BQ, DOESN’T HAVE THE GUTS TO TAKE ME ON! LESS SUCKING TITTIES, BRYAN! LESS SUCKING IN GENERAL [insert Ron Swanson gif] - GN 020
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 07/06/2025Come see me perform stand-up comedy one last time! Sat. June 21st at the Pine Box Rock Shop in BK. $10, all proceeds going to the Ali Forney Center to help at-risk LGBTQ+ youth. 7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?! 120
Reposted by Sam GrittnerSam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 01/06/2025Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two. 051
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 01/06/2025Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two. 051
Sam Grittner @samgrittner.bsky.social · 07/05/2025Happy belated bday! Thank you! I’ll take some more pics 000
