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Male shawty

@quant.bsky.social
116 followers 44 following 860 posts

(huge dipshit voice)

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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
(nods approvingly at you wasting food) the next Hitler could have eaten that
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Big round glasses are traditional Latina garb
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Jesse Raub @jesseraub.online · 29/09/2026
PODCAST HOST: the blood from the crime scene was found to actually be from the murder victim PODCAST CO-HOST: wait… the murder victim… died? with blood PODCAST HOST: i know—i was thinking the same thing. but then i read in the report that they died from the blood not being in the body anymore
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bijan (spooky version) @bijan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
i think about this post all the time. you might too
Snooby
@DoBiddley1
I am paid a very high salary to design new ways to hurt innocent people. Please don't hurt me. I want to live. My job is to hurt your children. Please, don't do anything to me. I want to be safe. My job is to make your family sick. I want to live. Please, I deserve to live. Pleas
12:45 AM · Apr 1, 2026
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The only honorable way out of all this is to live a long, fulfilling life
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
@pfrazee.com two requests: 1. Let me remove followers 2. When I block someone, let me save a screenshot alongside it so I can later recall why I blocked Please and thank you
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corpse eating dog @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
(standing over my infant son sleeping peacefully in his crib) there will come a time when it will seem to be funny to you to pretend to like something that you know to be bad. You must not do it
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Tactical rule-following
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Millennials invented bro (vocative) Zoomers invented bro (subjective) Gen Alpha invented bro (objective)
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Learning about how old I am.
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Boku no Jiggly Jubbly Wubbly Boing-Boing
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potion of @candlestick.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
pee is stored in tremendous underground salt caverns
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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
My enemies are amassing on the outskirts of town. Probably to apologise for their grievous misconduct
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You must have your penis in my vagina if you think we fucking!
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Over a year of “bouncing on it”‘s iron grip over the American mind and RFK Jr still has nothing to say about it smdh
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
W’s flow effortlessly to me My W’s greatly exceed my L’s I am open to W’s W’s seek me out I am in control of W’s and have as many as I want
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Happy 25 years of 9/11. Here’s to 25 more!
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
In Quebec they translate it to IA In France they reverse it to IA 
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
My ingenious purchases 
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
You guys have got me real close to googling “ed sheeran”, real close! but I still won’t do it
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Just coined the phrase “I yucky with that” (meaning I fuck with that). Clearly a banger, but young people don’t know about it yet. How to spread the good word…
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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Yeah sorry I'm late, my washing machine lied to me
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
What did y'all think of the Hiveswap Act 3 Teaser today?
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
How my life is going based on how many times a day I say I need to kill myself: 10+: terrible 3-9: normal 1-2: amazing 0: I did it
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🔥✍️👹 @rookscript.reductive.group · 11/09/2026
ㅤ
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
Words like wren, lark, and newt are short but rarely used. We should rename those animals and use those words to mean something we talk about every day, like monetization, or algorithm. We would save so much time if “cryptocurrency” were called “stoat”, or if “data center” were called “crake”
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
AI will never replace my job getting posterized at the Obama Presidential Library basketball court
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
OK, I’ve done the work, I’ve read everyone else’s opinions, and I’ve done independent research on Shakespeare. I’m ready to explain why Sam Altman‘s tweet is dead wrong. 
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Trader Joe’s frozen mini pizzas have heating instructions for conventional oven, toaster oven, and air fryer. Lol, who do you think you are? Give me the microwave instructions, asshole
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Emily Zhou @reversibledestiny.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, The History of the Rebellion (1702). I consider this to be the worst English prose I have ever seen
I. The Misgovernment of Caroline England
The opening of the History is dated 'Scilly. March 18, 1645' (i.e. 1646).
Hyde began this preface two weeks after he had arrived in the Scilly Isles with Prince Charles, and a few days after the final surrender of the royal army in the west of England. He completed Book I of the History, from which all of the following passage is taken, in June the same year, on Jersey.
THAT posterity may not be deceived, by the prosperous wickedness of these times, into an opinion that less than a general combination, and universal apostasy in the whole nation from their religion and alle-giance, could, in so short a time, have produced such a total and prodigious alteration and confusion over the whole kingdom; and so the memory of those few who, out of duty and conscience, have opposed and resisted that torrent which hath overwhelmed them may lose the recompense due to their virtue, and, having undergone the injuries and reproaches of this, may not find a vindication in a better, age; it will not be unuseful, (at least to the curiosity if not the conscience of men,) to present to the world a full and clear narration of the grounds, circumstances, and artifices of this Rebellion, not only from the time since the flame hath been visible in a civil war, but, looking farther back, from those former passages, accidents, and actions, by which the seed-plots were made and framed from whence these mischiefs have successively grown to the height they are now at.
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Admin @mincer-ray.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Minotaur
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a mug dale @amygdale.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Obverse Cowgirl
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Brazil invented Portuguese to gatekeep their music from the rest of the world 
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Coming out of the hyperbolic time chamber insanely skinnyfat
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
(watching rain fall) There goes the neighborhood
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Picking your nose and sucking your thumb didn’t have to go that hard
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
In 1995, Ghost in the Shell posed a question that, if anything, resonates even stronger today: what if a smoking hot babe with huge boobs was naked?
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Keep working on those opinions guys, they’ve been so good lately, you’re almost there!
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Every cardiac event resets a baby’s stay in the NICU to 5 days, or 3 days if they were eating at the time, as that’s more understandable. Feeding babies claw at their faces and throats, they fall asleep, their hearts stop beating. That’s how good that shit is. Imagine a burger,
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Being a parent is the cognitive impairment equivalent of being a billionaire
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
When a boomer sees a child playing with a stick or a piece of garbage, something deep in their psyche compels them to say “kids don’t need fancy toys to have fun.” They must say this. They fear what would happen if they didn’t
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icchantika @pad.bsky.social · 02/07/2023
Mama: Peek-a-boo!! Me: Hahahaha what the hell. Where did she come from, it's impossible to know. Beautiful and astonishing world we live in Daddy: Don,t teach her that. Teach her that actions have consequences
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Couldn’t get to sleep until midnight because I listened to some raucous bossa nova at 8pm
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yаna @ghola.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
mutuals are coworkers of the heart
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
When will RFK Jr address the bottom epidemic?
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
*lets my freak flag fly with Spotify Premium*
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draft punk @sainthing.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
i love mozzarella sticks!!! i hate fear
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
where’d coach go? 😢
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
(educating a class of new parents) They don’t eat any burgers yet, they just drink milk (sees confused expressions) The milk is burgers to them (class nods, murmurs of understanding)
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Male shawty @quant.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Shopping cart are ergonomically designed for your toddler to kick you in the nuts
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