iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I broke down and bought a black light flashlight to figure out what my two boys are doing to our bathroom, and the splatter pattern looks like Dexter’s kill room with urine.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Someone should hit this jerk in the head with a hammer.

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mike taddow @miketaddow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

my uncle was a guerrilla fighter in ethiopia in the 80s and they used toyota trucks and suvs exclusively. when he moved to the states the first truck he bought was a tacoma. “it will go anywhere”

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

My kid: Do you know the sun is going to explode in five billion years? Me: Well, I’m not looking forward to that. My kid: Don’t worry. You won’t be around to see it My kid: Unless ghosts are real. So now I’ve got *that* to worry about.

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Annie Wu @anniewu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Batman Day isn't fun for everybody. Please check on your superstitious and cowardly loved ones today.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

This is how you make the Streisand Effect work for you.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Something I liked about this season of Reacher is that they introduced a character with a black eye and then just never bothered to explain it. He just seemed like someone that someone else would probably punch, and that’s enough.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Hell on the Danforth: A Scrawler Mystery

Joe noticed the man was on a bicycle.

And he was following Joe.

Joe walked faster.

So did the man.

Joe looked behind him.

More zombies had appeared.

They were coming from everywhere, like in a zombie movie.

This was no longer a neighbourhood problem.

This was a zombie problem.

And maybe it was a political problem.

Joe started thinking.

Who was responsible?

Mayor Olivia Chow?

The federal government?

The European Union?

Joe wasn't ruling anything out.

Canada was getting closer to Europe.

Everyone knew European countries had problems. Joe had seen it on the news.

Europe had all kinds of spooky creatures. Dracus.
Frankensteins. Maybe even zombies.

The pieces were falling into place.

He kept walking on the Danforth. It looked like a death strip. Like an apocalypse.

Then a zombie blocked his path.

"You can't come through here," it said.

Joe looked at it.

"Why not?"

"It's our turf."

Joe wrote that down.

Death strip is zombie turf.

Then more zombies appeared.

Joe was surrounded.

One had a hammer.

Another had a bicycle.

A third was just standing there. But it looked threatening.

Joe knew a threat when he saw one.

He had been threatened before.

Usually by people who left mean comments on his articles. Or demanded to know where his hat was.

This was different.

Joe ran away.

He ran down a side street. He jumped in a dumpster.

Joe took out his notebook. Death strip is zombie turf, he read.

He knew it. He had known all along.

He wrote a new clue underneath on a new line.
Who is really running Toronto?

Joe closed the notebook.

He had been the one running. But now it was time to find out who was really running Toronto.

Before they found him.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Joe Warmington popping back up on my timeline for the first time in a while makes me want to get back to writing Scrawler Mysteries.

THE CASE OF THE STAR SUICIDE
A Scrawler Mystery

Joe Warmington sat at his desk. But the case didn't sit with him. Didn't sit right, that is.

Suicide, they said.

But maybe murder.

But murder by who? The higher ups at the Star, maybe.

But on whose orders? Maybe Mayor John Tory. Or even Premier Kathleen Wynne, maybe.

The whole thing stank worse than a gas plant that was never built by the Liberals.

Warmington strapped on his gun. He put his hip flask in his front pants pocket. He went across the room and got his hat off the hat rack. Then he stood up from his desk chair.

Time for the Scrawler to find out. The answers, that is.

THE CASE OF THE STAR SUICIDE (cont.)
A Scrawler Mystery

"Shut up, Warmington!" yelled Rosie DiManno.

Someone at the Star was trying to silence him. But who?

"Me!" yelled Rosie DiManno. "Rosie DiManno!"

Joe had a hunch Rosie DiManno just might be mixed up in this.

But was she capable of violence?

"I'll rip your fucking throat out," said Rosie DiManno.

Joe scribbled the lead down in his notebook:
"violence." He was on the right track.

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TheOakLeafs @theoakleafs.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

An analogy for slow Americans who don’t truly grasp our negative attitude towards them: If the family of 5 living next door includes 2 people who eat babies, 2 who quietly watch them eat babies, and 1 who vocally opposes eating babies, they’re still gonna be known as the fucking “baby eating house”

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The Serfs (youtube.com/theserfstv) @theserfstv.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This is the most masculine video on the internet right now

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

@hollywoodsteve.bsky.social The anniversary today of Use Your Illusion’s release reminds me that you guys are overdue to de-double another album.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

You would think Ed Sheeran would be better at handling criticism with these two guys heckling him and his friends from their box seat week after week.

static.klipy.com

Statler and Waldorf Shake Heads at Muppet Show

Alt: Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show, shaking their heads

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Many critics say the FBI has been fucking the dog instead of finding Nancy Guthrie, while others say they’ve already screwed the pooch. FBI Director Kash Patel adamantly maintains this is all legitimate police work.

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Rachel Gilmore @rachelgilmore.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Privatization wasn’t on the ballot when Canadians voted for Mark Carney. Really foul the way he’s using the blind trust so many continue to have in him to make massive, fundamental changes to Canada (hurting normal Canadians) so big companies can profit. Please pay attention.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Pretty tough day when Ms. Rachel denounces you as a moral coward.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

“Ed was put in a difficult position where he might have to stand for something” is so politely devastating.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Me at the crosswalk when my fellow parents are in a hurry to get to work after school drop-off but have to yield to pedestrians.

The most famous of R. Crumb’s “Keep on Truckin’” guys, doing his distinctive strut.

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Emily @emilydawn.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

An underrated insane thing about the 9/11 discourse is that for 364 days a year conservatives talk about New York like it’s a lawless wasteland, inhabited only by the scum of the earth. And then on the 365th day it’s “and let us never forget these 3000 saints, martyred in the greatest city on earth”

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Me, accidentally backing over the singer from Alien Ant Farm as he puts my groceries in my trunk: YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY A FORD EQUINOX

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Billy Domineau 🇵🇸 @billydomineau.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

9/11 is a great day to reread my viral Seinfeld spec and to remember I’m one of the most talented TV writers available to write for your show. I have $225k in student loans and my family is about to pay OOP for my dad’s post-stroke rehab, so you’d better believe I’m gonna give you my best!

avclub.com

Read This: A darkly comedic Seinfeld spec script set days after 9/11

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

It just sucks that first we lost Right Said Fred and now the Proclaimers. Both of those great songs that I’ll never listen to again.

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Staub @yepstaub.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

what a curious day to put these on sale

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Because Swan Boy is a funny animal comic, I’m genuinely unsure if a Disney employee in a mascot costume was pushed to his death or the real Donald Duck.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Time for everyone to throw away all their Proclaimers album.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Happy Labour Day to all the heroic working men and women and more.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

My wife: Ah, poor Cape Breton’s flooded. The power’s out and the roads are washed out. My 13-year-old, not looking up from screen: nice.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

It’s bonkers that the guy with the supposedly most important job in the world has nothing better to do all day long than shitposting. If any of us did that, we’d be rightly fired. And he was, but how in the world did he get rehired?

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Instead of Newfoundlanders being upset about Pete Hoekstra visiting, why not have him “screeched in”? That’s right, I mean “struck by a speeding vehicle that hits the brakes at the last second for plausible deniability.”

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

My eight-year-old overheard a snippet of “Bitter Sweet Symphony” on a TikTok, ran into the room asking to hear the whole thing, and ended up getting a crash course on sampling, songwriting credits and what an asshole Allen Klein was.

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greytdog @greytdog.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

The GOP has always cheated...and harmed Americans in order to gain and hold power.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Gen X people: Ever glance at a calendar and see the year 2026 and freak out a little?

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

A weird fact I learned about Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers: There was actually no bunny! It was a pair of human men.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

NHL fans, get ready for sudden, arbitrary ad breaks in the middle of the powerplay.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Someone should take all these generals and officers who have been fired, pushed out and passed over, and start up a new army.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

This candidate for Brockville city council sounds like what I think a Carry On or Benny Hill character is.

A smiling candidate for Brockville city council. His name is Randy Chase.

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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

live your life so Joyce Carol Oates never tweets about you and Isaac Chotiner never calls you

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David F. Sandberg @ponysmasher.social · 22/07/2026

In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ronald Lacey didn’t know his face was going to melt and his reaction is genuine. I love learning film trivia on social media!

Face melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

“He renamed the lake!” No, he didn’t. Grow up.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Americans are getting corncobbed in a way their rural, outhouse-using ancestors would have understood.

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Dreamboat Branny 🦢 @bransonreese.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Sometimes I like to hop in my car and hit the highway during rush hour. Just throw an audiobook on, maybe a podcast. I've got nowhere to be. Just cruising around slower than the rest of traffic with the lowest cortisol levels the human body can survive having.

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Doug Saunders @dougsaunders.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Since we’re considering trade reprisals — I wrote last year about how easy it would be for Canada to make toilet paper completely unavailable to Americans. It could be done without any tariffs or embargoes. It may be happening already. www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/arti...

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I’m going to make an “ultimate road trip” playlist of songs that all start with a siren so my increasingly frustrated wife keeps pulling over to the side of the road: “Money City Maniacs” by Sloan, “Blockbuster!” by The Sweet, “White Riot” by The Clash, etc.

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Goldstein (still not a pseudonym) @goldstein.latinsky.app · 26/08/2026

Howard Nutlick. lmao

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Rename it Lake America so the name is already taken when Trump wants to use it.

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Weird Al Swearengen @peterlynn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I’m not saying we should do a wellness check on all 80-year-old celebrities who have worked with the Muppets but

Sylvester Stallone, Liza Minnelli, Deborah Harry and Steve Martin in their respective appearances on The Muppet Show.

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