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Paul Kerton

@paulkerton.co.uk
139 followers 115 following 684 posts

Mind your business 😜

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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 14/02/2026
If I had a nickel every time Emerald Fennell made a "Posh people are silly, dumb, bored, oblivious and naive then get taken advantage of by an evil manipulative working class outsider" movie I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened thrice.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 18/11/2025
So if I'm getting this right, to be a female driver in the McLaren Development Programme, you have to be named Ella? Hakkinen, Stevens and Lloyd! 😂 www.bbc.co.uk/sport/motors...
bbc.co.uk
Ella Hakkinen, 14, added to McLaren driver development programme
Ella Hakkinen, the 14-year-old daughter of two-time F1 world champion Mika Hakkinen, is added to the McLaren driver development programme.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 18/11/2025
So does becoming Home Secretary make you a complete and utter fuckknuckle, or is it a job only complete and utter fuckknuckles are attracted to?
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 17/11/2025
So the government is banning ticket resale above face value, is that right?
The Henry Cavill being snuck up on by Jason Momoa meme. Henry is labelled "Govt bans ticket resale above face value". Jason is "Dynamic pricing" sneaking up on him.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 16/11/2025
Finally watching Better Man, and completely thrown by how none of the timeline fits. Talking about Oasis before they'd even been signed? All Saints are famous before Robbie has a solo song out? He's writing She's The One Off the top of his head even though it's a cover?
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store
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Justin Wolfers @justinwolfers.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
I wonder if the United States can learn anything from the last time a major industrialized country decided to isolate itself from the rest of the world? Almost a decade after the Brexit vote, GDP in the UK is around 6-8% lower relative to peer countries. (Source: www.nber.org/papers/w34459)
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/11/2025
People who claim IT Welcome to Derry is aping Stranger Things are the same people who think Dune and John Carter were aping Star Wars. The same people who watch Battle Royale and claim it's just The Hunger Games. Media illiteracy really needs to be studied.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/11/2025
Ooh Croome on Flog It! Love that place. One of absolute favourites NT properties. 😍 @nationaltrust.org.uk
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/11/2025
Keir Starmer says racism is returning to UK politics and he's right. I mean, when someone makes a statement about becoming an "island of strangers" due to migration, you can't help but see that it's true. Now, who said that again? 🤔
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/11/2025
When the film came out I got an absolute bollocking from someone for saying "It sinks at the end" as I'd "spoiled the film". This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a new phenomena. 😂
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 08/11/2025
Perhaps Darren Jones MP and the Labour Party should learn how people feel about political parties that make deliverable promises that they fail to deliver, before criticising others. People are sick of politics that promises that "Things are shit and we will manage further decline"
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 07/11/2025
I'm going to assume the person called Asterix on this quiz show wasn't given that name by their parents - because seriously though... 😮
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 06/11/2025
"...Oh fuck!" #thetraitors 😂😂😂
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 03/11/2025
I wish I could say this is surprising.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 02/11/2025
I have no opinion on Molly-Mae, but all I ask is that if Unilever is going to put her at the front of campaigns, can they at least get her some broadcast media training so she can deliver lines without being so wooden?
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 02/11/2025
Only Wolves could give someone a new 3 year contract just 6 weeks before sacking him. 😂
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 01/11/2025
I really need to find those people last week that I spoke to that insisted the film Zootopia wasn't known as Zootropolis in the UK... 😂
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 01/11/2025
@mcuban.bsky.social stop threatening us with a good time!
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 01/11/2025
Enjoying the media illiterate "IT rips off Stranger Things" discourse, as if it isn't itself a massive "Homage anything a famous auteur in the 80s with the first name Stephen/Steven" nostalgia bait show. My friends, Stephen King INVENTED the kids-on-bikes genre.
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Proton @proton.me · 31/10/2025
Last chance to turn it off. On Monday, November 3rd, Microsoft will start using your LinkedIn data for AI training. And remember, you're opted in by default. To toggle it off 👉 Account - Settings & Privacy > Data privacy > Data for Generative AI Improvement.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 31/10/2025
Happy Halloween! If anyone in your vicinity is preparing the following lines to go along with their costume: "Why so serious?" "By order of the Peaky Blinders" "The first rule of Fight Club..." "I'm Pickle Rick!" RUN! RUN FAST! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/10/2025
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 26/10/2025
So is George Russell gonna give Kimi Antonelli his place back now? 😜 #MexicoGP
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Cold War Steve @coldwarsteve.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 23/10/2025
JFC 🤦‍♂️
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 22/10/2025
Will Lisa Nandy go to Parliament to correct the record? She bloody should. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
theguardian.com
Intelligence on ‘extreme’ Maccabi fans with history of violence led to Villa Park ban
Exclusive: West Midlands police were told supporters randomly attacked Muslims in Amsterdam last year
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 22/10/2025
John Parrot aside, this might just be the most intellectually challenged week of House of Games I've seen. 😂
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 20/10/2025
When Maccabi Tel Aviv fans do the inevitable, I will expect the resignations of Lisa Nandy and Keir Starmer.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 19/10/2025
Liverpool vs Manchester United on a Sunday evening? Do they have no consideration for how bad the traffic will be on the M40 for all those fans going home? 😁😁
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 19/10/2025
I'm not sure what's more twisted: the lecture society is about to receive about choosing to wear a poppy, or knowing that those giving the lecture are willing to believe everything that goes against the poppy's message. Maybe they'll give the flags and roundabouts a rest though?
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Hughstergeist @hughster.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
The British Right are just in total freefall into savagery at this point
Jess Gill
@jessgillO3

I've never had curry or a kabab and don't intend to.
British food is the best. English breakfasts, Sunday roasts, fish and chips, pies, pasties, scones.
Also, our national dish isn't a chicken tikka masala we only think that because a Labour MP said it decades ago to push multiculturalism.
15:31·17 Oct 25-78K Views
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 19/10/2025
Thought I was watching The Traitors... ... It was just a party political broadcast by Reform UK.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 18/10/2025
Eva Braun that's been booted through a Poundland.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 18/10/2025
Supermarkets Sack all their staff and encourage you to self scan, only to then have no staff to put the scanners back. 🤦‍♂️
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 17/10/2025
Since Robert Jenrick is a Wolves fan, I'd like to know which of the "more than a few matches" at Villa Park "in the away end" he attended while growing up in the '80s. There were 4. He was 1 month, 11 months, 2 years and a month, and 7 when they happened... 🤔
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 17/10/2025
He's a moron. There's no other way to put it.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 17/10/2025
British politicians are playing a dangerous game. If Maccabi Tel Aviv fans decide to go around Aston chanting about dead Gazan children and tearing down Palestinian flags, it will get really ugly, really quickly. To step in and interfere with WMP decisions is dangerously stupid Starmer.
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The Guardian @theguardian.com · 12/10/2025
‘Brummies united against racism’: poster campaign takes on the far right
theguardian.com
‘Brummies united against racism’: poster campaign takes on the far right
A message of neighbourly solidarity is thriving in Birmingham against a backdrop of racist intimidation When Mus unfurled the leaflet lying on her driveway, she was left shocked, angry and upset. “White Britons are already a minority in London … it is clear that if these trends continue white people will become a minority in Britain,” it read. The leaflet, written by a far-right group, was distributed along her street three years ago in Moseley, a leafy suburb of Birmingham. It went on to blame NHS waiting lists, a shortage of social housing and even traffic on “the rising population”. Continue reading...
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THE NERVE @thenerve.news · 12/10/2025
Quote: I’m old enough to remember when mainstream British politicians, who should know better, stirred up racial hatred as a path to power. You’re old enough to remember this too because it was last Tuesday. And it was Robert Jenrick. Stewart Lee
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/10/2025
Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets has been stabbed to death in prison? I hope the knife is okay!
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 11/10/2025
I feel like they should think about recalculating the UK charts so it takes into account releasing 5 completely unique variations of the same album in the same week. 🤔
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NewsThump @newsthump.com · 10/10/2025
NEWS! Fury as man who threatened to invade Greenland and who uses military against own people fails to win Nobel Peace Prize newsthump.com/2025/10/10/f...
newsthump.com
Fury as man who threatened to invade Greenland and who uses military against own people fails to win Nobel Peace Prize
Donald Trump has once again been cruelly snubbed by the Nobel Peace Prize committee, despite what he insists was an “incredible” year of personal achievements in the field of “peace, which is very …
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James Medlock @jdcmedlock.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
“I’ll declare war on you if you don’t give me the peace prize” is an incredible bit
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Rhianna Pratchett @rhi.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 06/10/2025
Have a break, have a Kot Ket.
A novelty chocolate bar at the Tory Party conference, with a quote from their leader Kemi Badenoch. Ironically, the word Britain is spelt incorrectly.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 05/10/2025
Pete Davidson taking part in the Riyadh Comedy Festival would be like RFK Jr taking part in a Sirhan Sirhan Tribute Concert... ... Which to be fair I wouldn't put past him.
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 05/10/2025
Atrocious directors again. Too busy showing us the crowds rather than the Hamilton/Alonso battle #singaporegp
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Paul Kerton @paulkerton.co.uk · 05/10/2025
So based on previously established cases, is Lando going to aid Piastri because of a slow pit stop, or is that just a Lando benefit of Papaya Rules? 🤔 #singaporegp
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