“Teas, right? Let’s get some teas. You want some milk? Don’t be a milk pussy, dude. Get some calcium. I don’t want to be the only one with strong bones. Yes,...

An absent-minded man was left confused and embarrassed when he found himself in a toilet cubicle but couldn’t remember what he’d gone in there for.

Nigel Farage has claimed that the corruption appearing to riddle the Reform Party is the fault of the ‘establishment.’

I am the White House Office Supplies Manager, and I have conclusive and overwhelming proof that the President has been systematically stealing Post-it Notes from the supplies closet. I became aware o...

It is with considerable regret that after careful consideration, the United States will not be able to commit military support to Ukraine in defence against the military operation by Russia. Instea…

Andy Burnham’s Minister for Getting Damn Funky has come into his new department with a bold pledge to make the country three quarters funkier than it is currently.

Thanos, the mad Titan who recently eliminated half the human race, has dramatically called a by-election.

Magic is poised to drive the largest paradigm shift in our lives since alchemy. I’m sure many of the more enlightened amongst you will be early adopters and may already be incorporating basic spells i...

I’m a character in a sitcom and I’ve only gone and got myself into another hilarious fucking predicament. I was just going about, trying to live my life normally, when I’ve ended up having to look af...

London. 2026. The air is thick with Sharia and socialism. I’ve put it off too long. I need to pop out for a sandwich. Sainsbury’s is in the Muslim-only no-go zone just past the tennis courts. Pret …

You have decided to watch “London Has Fallen.” “London Has Fallen” is not “The Rainmaker.” I recommend you watch “The Rainmaker.”

ALT: Robocop Melting

You recently watched "The Rainmaker." "The Rainmaker" is a legal thriller starring Matt Damon and Claire Danes. My top recommendation for legal thrillers starring Matt Damon and Claire Danes is "The Rainmaker."

As the ballot boxes are being cleared away and the candidates make their tired way home, the dust settles on the dramatic Makerfield by-election. And it’s clear that, despite Andy Burnham actually …

Andy Burnham’s decisive victory in the Makerfield by-election has highlighted the Reform Party’s core manifesto pledge of being total cunts, a strategy that analysts suggest failed to translate at …

Hey, Officer, don’t look so worried. I’m the best there is. I advised Al Pacino on how to shout “somebody get help” in Heat.

Andy Burnham’s initial plans for his triumphant return to Parliament have been revealed.

Bold illustrated wall art, greeting cards and homewares designed in Manchester. Inspired by architecture, music and mid century design. Made in the UK.

The King and the President shared a long, lingering kiss at the White House banquet last night in what many commentators are hailing as a profound physical statement of the longstanding ‘special re…

President Trump has declared complete and total victory over his pants after spending six weeks shitting in them.

As the ballot boxes are being cleared away and the candidates and their supporters make their tried way home, the dust settles on the dramatic Gorton & Denton by-election and it’s clear that, …

The Greens eye-catching victory in the Gorton & Denton by-election has shined a light on the Reform Party, and specifically Nigel Farage’s key policy of being horrible cunts, which seems like …

Following his arrest yesterday Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor is understood to have reached out to his friend and associate Harry ‘Grouty’ Grout.

YouTube video by Bruce Springsteen

President Trump has spoken further about his newly instituted Board of Peas which, he claims, will seek to ‘bring peas to all countries.’

A woman who, in December, took over her dead Aunt’s magical Christmas bakery in the festively cosy little town of Christmaston.

She receives news that her long-lost Auntie Christmas has died and has left her the old family oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.

A woman who, in December, took over her dead Aunt’s magical Christmas bakery in the festively cosy little town of Christmaston.

FIFA has awarded its inaugural Peas Prize to Captain Birds Eye.

Northman director Robert Eggers has announced that he has made a short festive film based on his second film The Lighthouse.

Dozens of people have been injured as peaceful protests against Die Hard being considered a Christmas film escalated into full-blown rioting.

Kelly Grace is factoring the unexpected inheritance of her aunt’s magical Christmas cookie shop into her holiday plans.

As the festive season approaches there is, inevitably, a new adaptation of a Christmas Carol on one of the lesser TV channels.