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Mike Pielocik

@mikepie.bsky.social
859 followers 319 following 320 posts

tv writer (@hignfyus.bsky.social, Late Show, Tonight Show, Desus & Mero, Nightly Show, Smart Pipe, Sex House, ONN).

PostsRepliesMedia
Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 23h
“Jack Smith, you say that Michelle Williams should’ve won the Oscar for Brokeback Mountain, but I contend that ZERO members of Destiny’s Child were in that movie.”
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
brendan fraser in 2022
promo image for whalefall with austin abrams screaming "i'm in the fucking whale!"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
"Not my monkeys not my circus" I say to investigators, frantically using a tarp to cover the flashing neon sign that says "MIKE PIELOCIK'S SPECTACULAR MONKEY CIRCUS"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Not doing a lot of posting lately but just found out the German title of "Chicken Run" is "Hennen Rennen" - no way i'm keeping that to myself
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Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
‘Have I Got News For You’ is back!! CNN Tonight 9p/e. Tomorrow on CNN App & HBO Max
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Back tomorrow night baybay!
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Avengers Doomsday poster that says "OUR BRONZE AGE IS COLLAPSING," the clunky-ass line from The Odyssey
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Gonna start saying "Neagley from the world of Reacher!" the way Perry White says "Great Caesar's Ghost!"
ad for new amazon show "from the world of Reacher: NEAGLEY"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
2016: lol the rich tv man from home alone 2 thinks he gonna be president 2026: i hope the gestapo gets the famous diarrhea
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
“But that’s NOT what I’m gonna do.”
Sam Neill in Jurassic Park.
“He left us! He left us!”
“But that’s NOT what I’m gonna do.”
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Reposted by Mike Pielocik
ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔬𝔰 ☽|☾ 𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔰𝔰 @chaospriestess.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
My favorite Sam Neil fact will always be that he designed a future Australian flag that replaces the union jack with the aboriginal flag for Event Horizon and insisted the film use it.
Screencap of Sam Neil in Event Horizon, his flight suit features an Australian flag with the union jack replaced by a yellow circle on black and red, the Australian aboriginal flag
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
for having won so much these people are such fucking losers
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
“A nation that has allowed so much of that wealth to be held instead in the soft hands of a precious few” goes so hard
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones have not had a hit single since Biden pulled out of Afghanistan. Much to consider.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
In the jungle The mighty jungle
Hulu show called “Titanic Sinks Tonight”
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Reposted by Mike Pielocik
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
This weekend is the one-year anniversary of the release of my newest comedy special Positive Reinforcement! I'm really proud of it, and I'd really appreciate if you'd consider checking it out and/or sharing it with a friend! Thanks! :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAvN...
youtube.com
Josh Gondelman - Positive Reinforcement [2025] | FULL COMEDY SPECIAL
YouTube video by Blonde Medicine
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
I know this is not the biggest concern going these days, but it stresses me out that basically every artist/writer/critic is now expected to create their own tiny empire instead of getting paid by any existing entity to perform a job they've worked to get good at!!!!
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
You couldn’t make The Office today. It would take multiple days. A week at least.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
35mm screening of Sam Raimi’s masterful 1998 thriller “A Simple Plan”
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Season 3 Boardwalk Empire goon who gets brained with a bowling pin
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
As my family grows, and interest rates being what they are, I would kill for the extra square footage of the backrooms.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
on top of everything that sucks about that Washington Post podcast, having a show called "Make It Make Sense" in 2026 is very
A fake sitcom on "The Simpsons" called "Talk To The Hand"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
PRO BLADE CAREER
Monitor in a doctor's office that says "50 OR OLDER? TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT GETTING SCREENED FOR PRO__A_E C___ER. (FILL IN THE BLANKS)."
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Christopher: I’m just sayin Ton, Carlo’s new guy is a little weird. Guy’s always eating leaves and native ferns. Strange is all. Tony: I don’t care if he’s a wallaby or a jackalope or a marsupi-whatever. He’s a good earner! Paulie: Wallaby damned. You hear what I said skip? I said “wallaby damned.”
Nj.com - Wallaby on the loose after escaping from NJ zoo
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
batman, gnomes high fiving, pennywise, batman, batman, weird violin, count dooku, and the rest are genitals
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
A good name for a fun morgue would be “Our Bodies Our Shelves.”
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
I just preordered @thomas-elrod.com's novel The Franchise which sounds unbelievably up my alley, truly cannot wait to read bookshop.org/p/books/the-...
bookshop.org
The Franchise
Check out The Franchise - <p><b>A </b><b>Most Anticipated Title from <i>Men'sHealth</i>, </b><b><i>FanFiAddict</i>, <i>The Nerd Daily</i>, and <i>Transfer Orbit</i></b><b>!</b><br><b><i><br>Game of Thrones</i> meets <i>The Truman Show</i> in this epic tale of a Hollywood-owned fantasy world where nothing is quite as it seems to the people who live and die at the studio’s whim.</b><br><br><i>A land filled with magic and dragons and wizards and warriors.</i><br><i>Thousands of people live and work within its borders, fearful of their enemies and loyal to their king.</i><br><br>The classic fantasy world of The Malicarn has been brought to life on the big screen in a series of phenomenally successful blockbuster movies, almost entirely populated by characters in total belief that their sham fantasy lives are real.<br><br>A fan-favorite actor finds himself doubting the studio's work, but this franchise has an almost unstoppable momentum, and bringing freedom to a population that already believes itself to be free won’t be as easy as he thinks.</p> by Thomas Elrod on Bookshop.org US!
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geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
yes. they pay more based on income in taxes for the thing that is then “free” for everyone. this is how public services work
They Pay $34 for Burgers. Should Their Child Care Be Free?
A free preschool center opening in one of New York City’s wealthiest neighborhoods raises questions about Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s vow to expand universal child care.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
parked behind the most divorced car on Earth
A black matte cybertruck with a Florida “don’t tread on me” vanity license plate that reads “VNMM”
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Reposted by Mike Pielocik
geekysteven @geekysteven.com · 30/03/2026
your grandparents voting for reagan
Coop from Interstellar piloting a spaceship and saying "This little maneuver is gonna cost us 51 years"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
I can't operate on this boy! He's the mother of Jude Law's daughter berated by Chappell Roan's security guard!
New York Post headline: Mother of Jude Law's daughter allegedly berated by Chappell Roan's security guard challenges pop star
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
Today I took care of something that had been on my to-do list for literally 8 years and it took about 10 minutes and the lesson is: if you put something off for 8 years it's fine, it doesn't matter.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
Be the 280,000th viewer! www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhcB...
youtube.com
Pete Hegseth: Wet or Juicy! & When Is Trump Done With His War? | HIGNFYUS
YouTube video by Have I Got News For You US
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
vice president of the united states jd vance
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
wow
Fox news screencap of Markwayne Mullin with lower third chyron "SENATOR GREGDOUG JUMMINS SAYS 'I HAVE A PUDDING CAP UNDER MY HAT'"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
magical realism ass reality
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
the toys r us-ification of America prospect.org/2026/03/02/p...
Perhaps the worst part of the Paramount-Warner Bros. merger is how bad a business deal it is.

Even at $84 billion, however, this means a leverage ratio of seven times earnings, making it “the largest proposed leveraged buyout in history” according to a Netflix press release. Netflix was trying to trash-talk the Paramount deal before they gave up on acquiring Warner Bros., but they’re not wrong: 7x is an astounding amount of leverage. It puts this deal in the range of several notorious private equity deals that inevitably led to layoff carnage.

The legendary Kohlberg Kravis Roberts (KKR) $24.8 billion deal for RJR Nabisco, chronicled in the book Barbarians at the Gate, had a 7.5x leverage ratio. KKR would ultimately cut 46,000 jobs and shed $6.2 billion in assets within six years of the purchase. When KKR and two partners bought Toys ‘R’ Us in 2005, that deal had about a 7x leverage ratio. Toys ‘R’ Us slid into bankruptcy and 33,000 workers lost their jobs.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Turned on @hellocullen.bsky.social’s Strip Law (perfect show, no notes, Cullen is a madman) and my kid walked in just in time to catch a full screen graphic introducing “The Mysterious Mr. Ass.” Anyway, Strip Law rules.
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Zack Beauchamp @zackbeauchamp.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
The world's richest man is broadcasting eliminationist rhetoric about a tiny, vulnerable minority, and virtually no one is going to treat it as a scandal. It's just normal now.
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Rolling up to the club impressing all the fly honeys with my 97 sleep score
“Very high” sleep score of 97 from the Apple health app
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Cannot really overstate how good this show looks
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
Ouija Board skeptics *have* to accept that as soon as it actually starts communing with ghosts it’s going to upend the economy, and those who don’t accept the board’s connection to the nether realm *will* be left behind
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
how can anyone think about Wuthering Heights when Bad Bunny is out here Othering Whites???
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
I love all the ads! I love AI and betting markets and doorbell cameras! The feeling I have when I see de-aged celebrities is good! One thing is for sure, I do not feel a horrible yawning disconnect from the entire human project! #wegovy
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
they called Obama out of touch for saying the word arugula
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
UK Traitors: win or lose I’m well chuffed from making some good mates US Traitors: My name is The Botox Bitch and I will have your children killed
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
no this can't be right, i just read that katie britt is doing everything she can to help liam
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
Measles! At The Moral Abomination
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
BREAKING: Jabba the Hutt’s Twi’lek majordomo Bib Fortuna does NOT appear in the Epstein files
An Epstein files search - no results found for Bib FortunaMy main man Bib
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