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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad

@midwestmayosalad.bsky.social
88 followers 93 following 745 posts

With enough mayo, anything can be salad.

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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Second try in the style of pineapple upsidedown cake and it turns out when you do that with plums you get a deep dish pizza. So… progress but still not good. Individual slices are decent looking though and it did a cool thing where there’s purple plum geysers all through it Fixed recipe in alt.
½ cup unsalted butter 
1 cup granulated sugar 
2 large eggs
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
Enough plums to cover the top, I used ~20 small ones.
lemon juice
cinnamon

Butter and sugar in food processor, then eggs, then the rest of the dry ingredients.

Mix ~1 tsp each of lemon juice sugar and cinnamon together and brush over the bottom of a 9-10 inch pan.

Placed plums cut side down in a single layer on the pan bottom. Cut side up might look better - I was hoping for some caramelization but it was too wet.

Bake at 350F for 30 minutes covered followed by 10 uncovered until a toothpick comes out clean.

Recipe in pic is 1.5x listed. 

Now I’m out of plums so this probably goes away for a year.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The yassification ray misfired.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Getting home from Costco with a 3ft long loaf of bread and 8lb slab of salmon that I have to break down into reasonable chunks to put in the freezer is the closest I am going to get in my life to coming home from a successful buffalo hunt.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I was so mad when he was in Mayor of Kingstown and then they took him away after 28 seconds.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yeah, let's give the hallucinating robot named after a hallucinating serial killer access to our entire lives and unfettered access to the outside world. This will never end poorly.
Meta Muse with Daredevil Muse makeup. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muse_(character)
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
And despite that, she’s estimated to be worth about 10% more today than when she divorced him seven years ago.
fortune.com
MacKenzie Scott gave away $7.2 billion in just one year. That’s more than Jeff Bezos and most other billionaires have donated in their lifetimes | Fortune
Jeff Bezos, the world’s fourth-richest man, has donated only one-fifth of what his ex-wife has. Her giving last year is more than his over his lifetime.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This has been exactly right like twice a month. They’re flailing.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Pretty Woman: The Bone Temple
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Kylie, I think this is the third or fourth time you’ve done a better job reminding me to watch things than the people who make them. 🫡🫡
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Not the prettiest first attempt, but the NYT plum torte is goddamn delicious. I understand why people rioted when they stopped reprinting it and the internet didn’t exist yet. Recipe in alt.
½ cup unsalted butter 
1 cup granulated sugar 
2 large eggs
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
Enough plums to cover the top, I used ~20 small ones.
lemon juice
cinnamon

Butter and sugar in food processor, then eggs, then the rest of the dry ingredients.

Pour batter into a parchment lined pan (9x9 here)

Cover with plums cut side down. Press in lightly (I went too hard).

Drizzle with lemon juice.

Sprinkle with sugar and additional sugar. Brown sugar or some kind of crumble would go hard here.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
@tobiasbuckell.bsky.social
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
repost with an image of your favorite James Bond (wrong answers only)
static.klipy.com
Henry Cavill in Suit and Sunglasses
ALT: Henry Cavill in Suit and Sunglasses
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Goose was not valued. (This is an actual slide from a SoftBank presentation on why they were going all in on AI)
Picture of a goose and three golden eggs with captions:

Goose value 0?

Goose was not valued
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It was at the pentagon: Guy who regretted joining the military until Aaron Paul said “buck up champ”.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It was also probably going to get my money, and instead I’m just Vivin’.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Lord Lyonel Baratheon never learns his lesson!
static.klipy.com
lyonel dance
ALT: lyonel dance
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
This is like arguing that a jiggler understands a lock.
youtube.com
How to Pick Locks: Raking Explained
YouTube video by Covert Instruments
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
This isn’t really fair to him, but since we only have two young famous actors right now, I’m imagining Dune with Tom Holland as the lead and it’s made me audibly snort a couple times now.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Dinner tonight: Brian Lagerstrom’s not-made-with-lobster rolls. If you can get Argentine shrimp (and I think the variety matters here) these are fast and delicious. Followed the recipe almost exactly, but for the wrong bun style.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Skillet focaccia pizza for dinner. Tomato, Onion, and plant Sausage. Recipe in Alt
Combine in Food Processor
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dry instant yeast
3/4 cup lukewarm water

Pulse until a ball forms (~ 2 second 15 times)

Coat bowl with olive oil, turn dough into bowl and roll to coat.

Proof until double in size. I put my metal bowl in the skillet and filled with the hottest water I could keep my hand in (45-50C) to accelerate. Took about an hour.

Empty the skillet and coat with olive oil. Shape the ball the the skillet and push up the sides a bit. Rest for 15 minutes.

Cook covered stovetop on high heat until the bottom is golden brown (8-10 minutes)

(I didn’t do this, but next time I will parbake under the broiler for another 5 here.)

Top the pizza - I used (in order) jarred sauce, shredded mozz, sliced purple onion, sliced tomato, beyond breakfast sausage, buffalo mozz.

Cook under broiler until browned.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Having gone from Reacher to Slow Horses, I want to pitch you all on my new project - Large Equines - Gary Oldman has to yell at Alan Ritchson, Tom Hardy, and Vinnie Jones to stop running through the walls of buildings on the National Heritage List as they punch their way through London’s underbelly.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
He’s right and you should read the thread
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Finale had probably the best “Reacher is Strong” moment of the entire series along with a top five for “Reacher is Large”
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
A festive final day of Largemas to all who celebrate
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Didn't know I wanted this, but here we are.
youtube.com
Bad Lieutenant: Tokyo - Official Japanese Trailer - Coming Soon
YouTube video by NEON
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Ok, I’ve thought about it, and an XFiles revival where Scully teachs Reacher to kill the monster of the week as they resist their forbidden love goes hard. Chris Carter, call me.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I picked up shroom and gloom yesterday. It iterates on Griftland’s two deck approach mostly for the better and the art is dope. I don’t see it occupying Slay the Spire hours, but I’m enjoying it enough that I expect I’ll check off most of the boxes.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
JFC this might be the tweet that made him go full chud. The timing lines up, and I don’t know how you come back from it.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
@loarider.bsky.social I posted this for you, I need you to keep up with my posts
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Reposted by Midwest Mayonnaise Salad
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
german porn is just so weird
A black Volkswagen Beetle rests atop an upside-down white Beetle.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Finished Citizen Sleeper 2 last night. It is very good, but doesn’t quite hit the highs of CS1. Game mechanics are improved, but at the expense of story and characters. The fragmentary nature of multiple stations reduces the cast and nothing quite reached the highs of the sentient greenhouse. 8/10
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I love standing 6-8 feet apart next to my homies so we can be digitally recomposited when our filming schedules don't line up. It's my favorite way to hang out.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
*hasanthehung
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Current celebrating Largemas Eve. Past two episodes have been action heavy. Seems like they are getting back to plot, which is nice.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The best part of this is the name. PAC-3310 would be the 3310th compound developed by Plausibly Active Chemicals Co. or some shit. He read two papers and went this sounds sciency! Should be named JO-1.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The past decade has really raised the bar for presidential fail-sons. These men are truly titans of shamelessness. Who was the WOAT before this? Had to be some dumb ass Kennedy that accidentally roofied himself, right? (I guess that would be a fail nephew though)
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This can of sardines is looking at you from across the bar. What do you do?
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
What’s an example of perfect casting?
static.klipy.com
Seth Bullock from Deadwood Looks Up
ALT: Seth Bullock from Deadwood Looks Up
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Chris Pappas keeps having James Carville send me emails that say “Guys, Chris is fucking up a Democratic Senate campaign in New Hampshire, but it’ll get better if you spot us $20.” and I would like them both to stop.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Little bit of Japanese mayonnaise salad for dinner tonight.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Why does a Resident Evil movie look kind of interesting? Where is Milla Jovavich? I was gonna watch this either way, but its gonna be weird if it's good. That's not what I signed up for.
youtube.com
Resident Evil - Exclusive Clip: Only in Theaters September 18 | PlayStation
YouTube video by PlayStation
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Watching the Georgia Tech game, Halftime show dude trying to say "SPONSORED BY SKY RIZZY" in the Don Lafontaine voice is absurd.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Rahm is funny. He KNOWS he’s a tremendous asshole and people don’t like him. But he thinks that despite that, because he’s just SO smart, people will get over it and vote for him anyway. Goofy dude.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Gal, Gadon’t go and see this. Makes more sense why she felt like she had to do the bitcoin movie.
Gal Gadot’s “The Runner” with a rotten tomatoes score of 9%
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
This is a $7B (adjusted) boat. Reddit basically nailed it on this one. Capacity completely out the window, and just dump trucks full of money being burned. Absolute clown show.
USS Abraham Lincoln looking like a rusted prop in a post apocalyptic movie about people surviving on boats. 

Reddit threat:
1 - That ship never looked like that when I was on it, damn. 
2 - I was on the very aged Enterprise for 5 years, 2 deployments, and it never looked this bad.
3 - Scheduled maintenance and basic competence is woke now, we're getting rid of it. 
4 - Just give the boat some testosterone.
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Midwest Mayonnaise Salad @midwestmayosalad.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Last night I was thinking about how $10M in 1990 was so much more impressive than $10B today. Meant you built a hospital, or invented the laser disk or slap chop. $10B today: Scam website to sell Crypto scams Invention of the credit default swap Websites for angry old pedophiles It’s fucked
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