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Matt (Taylor’s Version)

@mattyew.bsky.social
252 followers 211 following 3.9K posts

Retired mommyblogger

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Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
I look’d, and beheld a boy, alight with a ghoſtly glow, truly I tell thee the child were ſtanding right there, next to the single bowl that catches the rainwater dripping down through our wooden ceiling and all 7 of us use to wash our faces and drink to our suſtenance,
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Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
Crazy how ghost sightings were more common back when people didn’t know how to prevent mold in their house
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Brian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 21h
i hate this stupid thing type-click-type.ghost.io/liberty-bibe...
type-click-type.ghost.io
Liberty Biberty Is My Enemy
Get it out of here.
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 22h
You’ll never get me to hate Embiid
Joel Embiid, when allowed access to the 76ers social media account, types “PHILS IN 2”
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Rick Ross voice: every day I’m sufferin
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
MIKE X MOLLY: The New Empire
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Completely accurate thread
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
BODY: hey man we’re not feeling well, mind if we fill your head up with goo? ME: I can’t imagine that would h- BODY: you got it, goo incoming!
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pretty simple: the Eagles are a worse team than the Bears with a third-string QB
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think we have to add a play to the playbook where Jalen Hurts gets hit in the head. It activates something in him, we need that scripted into the first 15 every week
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hit me out of bounds instead
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Getting invited to a party at Jason and Kylie Kelce’s house and telling them “what do you mean these cupcakes don’t have sprinkles what the fuck is this trash”
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
That was obviously intentional grounding, what the hell Joe Buck
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
What exciting new ways will Jalen Hurts stress me out today
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Me: hey doc, should I take this pill if I’m allergic to it? Doctor: how the hell should I know
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Tears
Alt: “your tears are so yummy”
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
lol Calais Campbell is on the FG team??????
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Javonte so ass
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Javonte so ass
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I’d never heard Choosin Texas until the last week of August, when I went to Colorado on vacation and heard it at least three times an hour
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This post is how I found out you have to pay for ChatGPT?? You pay actual money to do google searches but worse???? And you feel like this is more “egalitarian” than just typing something into a search engine?
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lt. winslow @lieutenantwinslow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
man what a tough break for that prosecutor who knowingly brought politically motivated bullshit indictments because she was 'just following orders' and definitely does not come across as unhinged in her resignation letter.
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Insane that we keep making up new rules for interviewees to follow while every interviewer is like “thanks for applying to this job you don’t want at a salary you can’t live on, we’ll get back to you never”
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
@RuthePhoenix

Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
People have got to stop saying “flow.” What do you mean your “workflow” stop trying to sound cool about errands
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
This guy’s like one of those substitute teachers, you’re reminiscing with your friends about that grouchy old Mr. Moore, he had to have been 100, you’re wondering if he’s even still alive, and your friend’s kid is like “oh yeah Mr. Moore he’s still around”
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Cuñada Ilustrada @cilustrada.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
A veces, la vida de un controlador de tráfico marítimo puede ser muy dura...🤭😅🤣🤣🤣 Buenos días, cieletes 😘🤗🩵💪😎
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s very simple and it’s been said over and over but I guess it needs saying continuously: if you deem one group too small to have equal rights you are enabling fascism, not fighting it. The people saying Dems are GREAT on trans rights are not paying attention and/or saying stuff like this.
Nichole Hiltz
The Democrats defend the Kennedy Center but not trans people.
A building.

@treewarrior.bsky....
maybe because defending everything about a super small minority of the population is not worth losing to fascists
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
To answer Matt Lucas’s question on the newest @taskmaster.tv live task, I am partially colorblind and I could not see any difference between the “green” and “yellow” loo rolls
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Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)
Anna Merlan @annamerlan.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I mentioned the men’s rights movement in passing to my very not-online therapist. Her eyes got enormous and then she said, very carefully, “Do men… not have rights currently?”
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
[chanting] wheel route wheel route [pounding clipboard] WHEEL ROUTE WHEEL ROUTE
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I’m a Democratic candidate, and I’ll be listening to the advice of my advisors, who are Republicans
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
dang, new cat all pissed. this is not the face of an animal who is pleased to have been discovered.
Close-up of a small wild cat with brown striped fur, large rounded ears, amber eyes, and a dark nose, staring directly at the camera with an intense, slightly irritated expression.
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
One of the light bulbs in my room, that’s been dead for a couple months and I’ve been too lazy to replace, just turned on
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
When I saw metalcore band Unearth the rhythm guitarist played a solo on the lead guitarist’s guitar. Just reached over and shredded it while still playing his own guitar too
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Why do bash “dead-beat” security guards but we never question if Charlie had bad vibes? Or if he’s just unpleasant to be around?
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
We’re finally getting our revenge on Macklemore for making thrift shop prices higher
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
(solemnly) I believe the First Amendment gives him the right to Mackle as much as he wants to
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Addison Raetheon @mrbutterchicken.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
HEAD SHEARIN’
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
People really think Trump is gonna give them $5000 when he can’t even get rid of the chemtrails???
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I think we should keep the ICE concentration camps, but repurpose them as ICE concentration camps
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Sure, collate my print job. Shoot me in the fucking face for all I care
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The conspiracy theory is that they’re poisoning our water supply with birth control medication. The truth of course is that birth control is perfectly safe to drink
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Bro he’s dead
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Welcome to Texas, where measles are decimating the population and the Railroad Commissioner candidate is upset about the Indians. It is 1871 and the hope is that some day they’ll get indoor plumbing
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Macklemore: “My message is for peace; love for all human beings to be treated with dignity, respect, and equality.” An astonishing number of Jews: “hey fuck this guy”
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not taught me that it’s not enough to present cool facts, you also have to tell your audience to fuck off if they doubt you
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Richard Ayoade’s beans calculus montage was a beautiful moment
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Brian Barrish @brianbarrish.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
MALALA SAYS GO BIRDS
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Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Thank’s, Coach
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