Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 31/12/2024I look’d, and beheld a boy, alight with a ghoſtly glow, truly I tell thee the child were ſtanding right there, next to the single bowl that catches the rainwater dripping down through our wooden ceiling and all 7 of us use to wash our faces and drink to our suſtenance, 011
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Crazy how ghost sightings were more common back when people didn’t know how to prevent mold in their house 101
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Brian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 21hi hate this stupid thing type-click-type.ghost.io/liberty-bibe...type-click-type.ghost.ioLiberty Biberty Is My EnemyGet it out of here. 931050131
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026BODY: hey man we’re not feeling well, mind if we fill your head up with goo? ME: I can’t imagine that would h- BODY: you got it, goo incoming! 001
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Pretty simple: the Eagles are a worse team than the Bears with a third-string QB 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I think we have to add a play to the playbook where Jalen Hurts gets hit in the head. It activates something in him, we need that scripted into the first 15 every week 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Getting invited to a party at Jason and Kylie Kelce’s house and telling them “what do you mean these cupcakes don’t have sprinkles what the fuck is this trash” 110
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026That was obviously intentional grounding, what the hell Joe Buck 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026What exciting new ways will Jalen Hurts stress me out today 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Me: hey doc, should I take this pill if I’m allergic to it? Doctor: how the hell should I know 011
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026static.klipy.comTearsAlt: “your tears are so yummy” 010
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026lol Calais Campbell is on the FG team?????? 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I’d never heard Choosin Texas until the last week of August, when I went to Colorado on vacation and heard it at least three times an hour 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 27/09/2026This post is how I found out you have to pay for ChatGPT?? You pay actual money to do google searches but worse???? And you feel like this is more “egalitarian” than just typing something into a search engine? 130
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)lt. winslow @lieutenantwinslow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026man what a tough break for that prosecutor who knowingly brought politically motivated bullshit indictments because she was 'just following orders' and definitely does not come across as unhinged in her resignation letter. 041
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Insane that we keep making up new rules for interviewees to follow while every interviewer is like “thanks for applying to this job you don’t want at a salary you can’t live on, we’ll get back to you never” 010
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 11/08/2026 31701210
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 24/09/2026People have got to stop saying “flow.” What do you mean your “workflow” stop trying to sound cool about errands 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 24/09/2026This guy’s like one of those substitute teachers, you’re reminiscing with your friends about that grouchy old Mr. Moore, he had to have been 100, you’re wondering if he’s even still alive, and your friend’s kid is like “oh yeah Mr. Moore he’s still around” 000
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Cuñada Ilustrada @cilustrada.bsky.social · 17/09/2026A veces, la vida de un controlador de tráfico marítimo puede ser muy dura...🤭😅🤣🤣🤣 Buenos días, cieletes 😘🤗🩵💪😎 30436182
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 19/09/2026It’s very simple and it’s been said over and over but I guess it needs saying continuously: if you deem one group too small to have equal rights you are enabling fascism, not fighting it. The people saying Dems are GREAT on trans rights are not paying attention and/or saying stuff like this. 349160724116
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 19/09/2026To answer Matt Lucas’s question on the newest @taskmaster.tv live task, I am partially colorblind and I could not see any difference between the “green” and “yellow” loo rolls 000
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Anna Merlan @annamerlan.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I mentioned the men’s rights movement in passing to my very not-online therapist. Her eyes got enormous and then she said, very carefully, “Do men… not have rights currently?” 513573321
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026[chanting] wheel route wheel route [pounding clipboard] WHEEL ROUTE WHEEL ROUTE 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I’m a Democratic candidate, and I’ll be listening to the advice of my advisors, who are Republicans 000
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 17/09/2026dang, new cat all pissed. this is not the face of an animal who is pleased to have been discovered. 993653623
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 18/09/2026One of the light bulbs in my room, that’s been dead for a couple months and I’ve been too lazy to replace, just turned on 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 17/09/2026When I saw metalcore band Unearth the rhythm guitarist played a solo on the lead guitarist’s guitar. Just reached over and shredded it while still playing his own guitar too 120
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Why do bash “dead-beat” security guards but we never question if Charlie had bad vibes? Or if he’s just unpleasant to be around? 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026We’re finally getting our revenge on Macklemore for making thrift shop prices higher 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026(solemnly) I believe the First Amendment gives him the right to Mackle as much as he wants to 000
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Addison Raetheon @mrbutterchicken.bsky.social · 29/04/2026HEAD SHEARIN’ 556957
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026People really think Trump is gonna give them $5000 when he can’t even get rid of the chemtrails??? 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I think we should keep the ICE concentration camps, but repurpose them as ICE concentration camps 031
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Sure, collate my print job. Shoot me in the fucking face for all I care 001
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026The conspiracy theory is that they’re poisoning our water supply with birth control medication. The truth of course is that birth control is perfectly safe to drink 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Welcome to Texas, where measles are decimating the population and the Railroad Commissioner candidate is upset about the Indians. It is 1871 and the hope is that some day they’ll get indoor plumbing 020
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Macklemore: “My message is for peace; love for all human beings to be treated with dignity, respect, and equality.” An astonishing number of Jews: “hey fuck this guy” 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Ripley’s Believe It Or Not taught me that it’s not enough to present cool facts, you also have to tell your audience to fuck off if they doubt you 000
Matt (Taylor’s Version) @mattyew.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Richard Ayoade’s beans calculus montage was a beautiful moment 000
Reposted by Matt (Taylor’s Version)Brian Barrish @brianbarrish.bsky.social · 14/09/2026MALALA SAYS GO BIRDS 242170306