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Matt Johnson

@matthewjohnson.bsky.social
746 followers 133 following 7.4K posts

aka twoeightnine everywhere else

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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 1h
Now here's a fattie, a weirdo and a beardo
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 2h
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Lisa Marie @lisamarietea.bsky.social · 17h
Get their asses, Ron Funches.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 7h
He's packing a lot in that back for sure
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Arif Hasan, but NFL🔨⚒️🛠️ @arif.bsky.social · 7h
Wrote a piece for the Guardian Jameis Winston is now the New York Giants’ starter. He’s far from a goofball hero www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/s...
theguardian.com
Jameis Winston is now the New York Giants’ starter. He’s far from a goofball hero though
The quarterback is widely adored on and off the field. Whether he deserves the public spotlight is another question
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Carried this bottle for 6000 miles (because I forgot I had it.) A little bit of Alaska in Vegas to celebrate my last night as a tour guide.
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Adam Whittaker Snavely @snaves.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Buffalo Bills Mandate of Heaven has arrived
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in a Bills hoodie
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Easily going to be the worst stadium in MLB upon opening.
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Arienne Childrey @ari4ohio.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Pay attention Dems. Gov Beshear won twice, in a deep red state, and never threw trans people under the bus. He led with compassion rather than the fear and cowardice we've seen from some of our Ohio candidates and party leadership.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
In honor of my last night ever, hopefully, as a tour guide in the Grand Canyon. One very small beer In the spot where I fell in love with the place, sunset be damned.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A few small beers
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
DaLOLas
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
No matter what happens no more Bills pew-ter gray uniforms. They stink.
static.klipy.com
Pepe Le Pew with Perfume
ALT: Pepe Le Pew with Perfume
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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⚔️ Michael Whitney @michaelwhitney.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Sean McDermott speech balloon
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Josh Allen got a little of that Drake Maye in him today
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We need a turdburgers nicknames for these uniforms because they are crap
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I know WGR lost the Bills but what in the hell are they doing on game day now? Three personality and vibeless dudes sitting around and groaning while watching the game? Who listens to this.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
What's the best site to stream Buffalo Bills football?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I've marked my approximate location on the map. Do we think I'll get the Bills game or not?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Watching my first Rochester Red Wings game of the year while in the Grand Canyon and they're in Las Vegas for the last game of the entire AAA season as one does
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Also depressing, meaningless, without passion and for some reason a love of genocide
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Gutsy would have been letting the kid make the catch
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Whitney Curry Wimbish @whitneycwimbish.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The youngest person his pager attack killed was 9-year-old Fatima Abdullah, who had just started 4th grade. The pager was on a table when it went off and she picked it up to take to her dad. It exploded in her face and reports said it covered the room in her blood. She wanted to learn English.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Dems may want to trans your kids but Matt Gaetz wants to fuck your kids
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Caræsten 🇵🇸 @cara.city · 24/09/2026
guys please stop falling for this, this is not “rogue AI” it’s “environments with lax cybersecurity controls”
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The joy of a summer in Alaska. I have no idea who this is. Have never heard the song. I'm just learning that she's not the nepo Groupon baby
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TW @twesq.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
this is fantastic and I learned something new
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
SI For Kids is Grok's official childporn publication
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Colorado means that river is "reddish"
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
A group of middle aged white men who work in oil exploration sitting around a gas fire pit at a hotel in Zion listening to one of them play an acoustic guitar is called a "date rape"
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The party of family values and that value is fucking.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Resets the "Terry Pegula Makes a Decision Without Exposing Himself as a Shithead" counter back to zero. It was previously at zero.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Why would you leave out of the headline that it was a lesbian relationship?
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Tony Adornato @robottony.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Something tells me you didn't create these "watercolors" using a hand drawn style, Kodi Dunston
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
There's nothing Hegseth thinks about more than the large, hard, spurting penises of his troops and if you think that's gay, you're gay
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
That's my old ice cream buddy. He introduced me to Heath Ledger and lovingly called me a drunk.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Direct Link to the video which is damn good www.instagram.com/reel/DdXq6cE...
instagram.com
Instagram
Create an account or log in to Instagram - Share what you're into with the people who get you.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I know a gourmet sour apple lollipop when I see it.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
My son is also named Dortch
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
He seems good.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
A bunch of people are going to have to stop licking NYC subway cars and that's going to drive them crazy
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Jacob Geller @jacobgeller.com · 17/09/2026
Mel Blanc screams are like Greek fire, we lost the technology to make sounds like this
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Nah. It says DEMOLISHON because they're really fucking dumb
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Despite all my pages, I am still just a tortoise in rigor mortis
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Ahh. Ol' Reliable
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Safe on earth for another week
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
CJ Stroud ain't Mahomes. If the Bills allow him to score in 1:36 fire them to the moon
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
He's a shoe-in for the position
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