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Matt Johnson

@matthewjohnson.bsky.social
751 followers 133 following 7.4K posts

aka twoeightnine everywhere else

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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 1h
Nothing good ever happens in New Jersey.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 3h
Two for the price of one. With $1m to spend somewhere else. The Sabres are going to be back for a long time.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 4h
People wanted to trade Owen Power. People are stupid.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 4h
The Buffalo Sabres power play might be the worst thing ever created in sports history
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 4h
Owen Power, he's the man whose name you'd love to touch, But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, But when you say it, you mustn't fear, 'Cause his name can be said by anyone
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 5h
Back in my day
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 5h
The most obnoxious and embarrassing outfit you can find
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 7h
This is going to come back to haunt you
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 23h
Now this is the 2nd best video version for this song youtu.be/CDXNfe2W8c8?...
youtu.be
Musicless Musicvideo / THE PRODIGY - firestarter
YouTube video by Mario Wienerroither
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Having lived and worked in Alaska the last 5 summers this is actually important. Your average Alaskan Republican would agree with and vote Democrat if you took the D and R off candidates names but will vote straight R all the time because Democrats are going to take their guns
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Please let #3 be the one we all want Please let #3 be the one we all want Please let #3 be the one we all want www.live5news.com/2026/10/06/c...
live5news.com
Controversial televangelist Jim Bakker dies at 86
Televangelist Jim Bakker has died at 86.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Roy Kent's Intense Growl
ALT: Roy Kent's Intense Growl
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The only thing better than watching the Yankees lose is watching the Yankees lose while sitting at a bar next to a couple Yankees fans who take the game away too seriously.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
This is the plot of the new season of Ted Lasso
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
And that guy's name? You guessed it. Nick Sirianni
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
That's a real diaper dandy!
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Let's. Test. That. Theory.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Didn't you say the same thing when you met your wife's boyfriend?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Jump Giant Whoopee Cushion
ALT: Jump Giant Whoopee Cushion
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
That means he's really 5'8"
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Are you eating meatball subs @briancgrubb.bsky.social ?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The Pats gave the Bills a second life and then the defense...
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You live by the Josh you die by the Josh
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Fucking little white Patriots receivers fuck them all
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Did Moondoggies twice. Fun but too crowded for me. Naked City is similar but bc of the location gets the drunk & hungover tourist crowd Johnny Mac's is great if you want to hang out with the expat crowd that has been here for 40 years but its impossible to get a seat unless you're there at 8am
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Keon Coleman? In this Beane draft strategy?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Nah. The Standard up in Summerlin. It was the closest to me this time. You have to get to Naked City and Moondoggies way too early to get a seat for me most days
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Bars playing Shout for field goals are an embarrassment
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I'm glad the Bills big off-season weapon pickup is taking the Von Miller path instead of the Stephon Diggs way. Give Brandon Beane 10 more years to get Josh some weapons.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I hope Josh Allen erases every single one of the Bickering Bills from the record book
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Did the refs just toss a flag at Vrabel's wandering dick?
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Hear me out. Sean McDermott wouldn't be a bad defensive coordinator.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Make Drake Maye Again
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Props to Dawson Knox for not getting caught up in Life Surge. Seems like a prime candidate.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
If Drake Maye leads a drive like that against you you should have to commit seppuku but with zero honor
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
This is also the 5th different Bills Backers bar will have been to in Vegas. The first one I didn't have to show up to at 8am to get a seat.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
And a bunch of pornos stuffed behind it
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Shut the fuck up
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It's week 4 and Including 5 minutes of a preseason game this will be the 5th state that I've watched a Bills game in this year. Alaska Montana Wyoming Arizona Nevada
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I did not know a woman could be cucked
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
NO JOE
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Meme so old it's gotta be closer to 15 hookers now
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Eventually you end up here. While it was labor intensive, it wasn't as bad as I expected and the shop wanted $150+ to do it.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Ever change a headlight bulb on a Toyota Tundra? If you haven't you'll be shocked to discover that this is the first step.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I'm too drunk to deal with this right now but what the fuck is that first house? It's like 3 different house styles merged into hell
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I think she was too busy having an affair with RFK
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Go Birds
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
There's no contract DOGE won't eliminate
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I'm dying www.instagram.com/reel/DPsLLf0...
instagram.com
Instagram
Create an account or log in to Instagram - Share what you're into with the people who get you.
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Matt Johnson @matthewjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
He's only 22 too
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