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Matt Ficke

@mattficke.bsky.social
971 followers 462 following 3.8K posts

Handyman DC, he/him Ice cream-eating motherfucker

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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14h
lol
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This is what online dating used to look like
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
And carbon monoxide detectors, particularly if you have combustion appliances. A couple of years ago the flue for our boiler got blocked and the house started filling up with CO in the middle of the night, only woke up because of the alarm. Fire dept came and had to ventilate the whole house.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am 17 years old and listening to WHFS on my way to school. Later today, my friend David will give me my first ever Red Bull in AP Biology class.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tangential, but I’ve been teaching my kids about the distinction between profanity and slurs (rather than lumping it all under “bad words”) and this is a really good example of contextually appropriate profanity.
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DEI Speedwagon @myrrlyn.net · 30/04/2026
🎶 three hundred twenty five thousand eight hundred gaaaaaallons 🎶 🎶 three hundred twenty five thousand cold tasty treats 🎶 🎶 three hundred twenty five thousand eight hundred gaaaaallons 🎶 🎶 that’s how you hydrate in acres and feet 🎶
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This is the core idea behind Deadwood
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conputer dipshit @davidcrespo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I’m sorry, but if you bring gypsum - or any damn mineral below 3 on the Mohs scale at all - to a job interview, you’re disqualified. It’s not hard, people.
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doctor eek (alt decorative ghost season) @absolutely-not.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you're not my real mom
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binto peans
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I am being micro-targeted
THE HISTORY OF CONCRETE
Rated NR • 101 min • 2026
JOHN WILSON USES THE
HALLMARK MOVIE FORMULA TO MAKE A DOCUMENTARY
ABOUT CONCRETE
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Aaron Blackshear @aaronblackshear.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
We were in the bleachers heckling some random outfielder on the Pirates and he did this but to my buddy’s girlfriend with the team hotel and his room number
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Sansa Sandisk @cheatlines.co · 25/09/2026
it's Misty Weekend so I am having an Aviation with added club soda, which I guess makes it an ETOPS because it's a long Aviation over water, ayyyyyyooooooo
Two Aviation cocktails in short glasses
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 24/09/2026
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
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Joseph Galbo @josephgalbo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Something most people don't know - there's no federal safety regulation of fixed-based amusement rides. It's all up to the states. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
nbcnews.com
Over 100 people sustained brain injuries on X2 roller coaster at Six Flags, victims’ lawyers say
Three people say they sustained “catastrophic brain damage” on the California coaster and have sued the amusement park.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The tap water really is good, so much so that it was a little disorienting using the water fountain in the airport.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
youtu.be/5hfRjN3txdM?...
youtu.be
star wars cerveza cristal 1
YouTube video by emetwistable
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
theonion.com/marxists-apa...
theonion.com
Marxists' Apartment A Microcosm Of Why Marxism Doesn't Work
AMHERST, MA—The filthy, disorganized apartment shared by three members of the Amherst College Marxist Society is a microcosm of why the social and economic utopia described in the writings of Karl Mar...
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I want to know more about that sack-back Windsor chair
A nice looking chair
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FormerGregSamsa @formergregsamsa.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Saying Mamdani likes Dear Evan Hansen is somehow the meanest thing I've ever heard anyone say about him, and I lived through this entire mayoral campaign.
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Sharon 🪳🌹 @sharonk.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
sending this image back to 2016 to give everyone an aneurysm
Bill Kristol reposting prisonculture
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Rapidly approaching the baseline crazification factor kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/10/lunc...
kfmonkey.blogspot.com
Lunch Discussions #145: The Crazification Factor
John: ... I mean, what will it take? That last speech literally made no sense . It was crazy drunken bar talk! Islamic radicals are lik...
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Do you remember youtu.be/Qfi9JpgMc2U
youtu.be
9/21/21
YouTube video by Demi Adejuyigbe
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Around 20 years ago I worked for a defense contractor in the shipping department, and a couple of times I put the wrong address on the shipping label for a bunch of classified communications equipment. So I have some suspicions about how this happened.
A shipment of F-35 parts bound for the United States for repairs was rerouted as it transited the Pacific Ocean from Australia, according to three people familiar with the matter who were granted anonymity to discuss private conversations. The Pentagon confirmed the disappearance of some components.
The parts, which an intermediary was transporting on behalf of F-35 manufacturer Lockheed Martin, instead wound up in Hong Kong. It's not clear why the equipment was rerouted or who has possession of it now.
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
FALSE BERLIN and BIZARRE LITTLE MEN are categories, they did the thing
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Stephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
mmygod
the slut gnomes of false berlin jeopardy bluesky posttoday's jeopardy categories. the last 2 are "false berlin" and "bizarre little men"
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James Hell Brooks @kleinman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Missing the Weezer concert because I have to got a PTA meeting" is a nice little glimpse into my whole deal
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Pro tip: if you don’t have a dead-blow hammer, a roll of packing film makes for a pretty good substitute.
Me holding a roll of packing film, typically used for wrapping things together when you’re moving or shipping things
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Into my veins
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Unionize the tech industry. I tried to do this at my former employer and viscerally understand how difficult that will be, but it’s a fight worth having.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
lmao
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Mrs. Detective PikaBOO, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 15/09/2026
I can’t believe the Babadook tweet lady just won an Emmy lmao never tell me online isn’t real
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Somewhat earnestly, speaking as someone who did the “learn to code” thing in 2015: construction. I left tech to start a solo handyman business and I’m happier than I ever was as a programmer. The money is good and a robot isn’t going to take my job.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Someone should put out an anthology of Steven Hotdog-style stories, I would be all over that.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
This is amazing
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Comment from user tocc:

“The problem is the person who saw this is America and thought 'wow, this could go with call me maybe' is too powerful and we need to be worried”
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
The closing exchange is simply perfect. Thank you @matthewdessem.bsky.social for bringing joy to my life, I think about this interview all the time.
I mean, it's true for you, but that's also sort of a classic unverifiable claim someone makes in a bar, right? Do people ask you to do the yell to prove it? When's the last time you remember yelling "Mortal Kombat"?
Oh, yeah. I just did it last week.
I see. Will you do it over the phone?
Would I do it over the phone? Absolutely.
Let's hear it.
Mortal Kombat!
Yeah, you still got it.
I'm going to pay for that one tomorrow.
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tweety fish oh wow like a chimera or something spoooky @sifu.tweety.fish · 13/09/2026
I think one of the reasons I'm, if not sanguine, at least not feeling like ~all this is so much of a novel crisis, is that "somebody could accidentally or maliciously completely fuck the internet to hell with very little effort" has been the baseline state of things since let's say the late '80s
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
“why are all the ai ceos all of a sudden saying this weird thing?” burning man was last week and this may actually just be the explanation
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
On Long Beach Island in South Jersey (where Alito has his vacation house), there were noticeably fewer Trump and MAGA flags/signs this summer than in years past.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
At the risk of saying the quiet part out loud, it probably helps Talarico on net in this specific election for trans activists to be yelling at him. I don’t know how much the article’s author understands that dynamic, but this is a big part of the role activists play in general.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Outsourcing this to Coyote
Coyote from Coyote vs. ACME holding up a sign that says “what problem are we trying to solve here?”
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Oh thank god. Great site but that was the worst name since TBD.
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MrCheeze @mrcheeze.github.io · 08/09/2026
This makes for a confusing asterisk in the "LLMs are just plagiarism machines" debate
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is unironically how I approach my career as a handyman. When I talk with clients, it’s superficially about what they want me to build but it’s really about how they want to live their lives.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is unironically how I approach my career as a handyman. When I talk with clients, it’s superficially about what they want me to build but it’s really about how they want to live their lives.
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Allan Faulds @afaulds.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Good afternoon, I've just discovered as a result of seeing this post that there's an absolutely exasperated community page with advice about how to deal with Trump pronouncements and actions
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tweety fish oh wow like a chimera or something spoooky @sifu.tweety.fish · 06/09/2026
I only use Lie-Nielsen javascript frameworks
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
2006, Sleater-Kinney’s farewell tour at the 9:30 Club. Band plays their set and the planned encore, club turns up the lights and plays the get-the-fuck out music. No one leaves. 10 straight minutes of cheering later, a bewildered band comes back out and plays Danzig’s “Mother”.
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Matt Ficke @mattficke.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
2006, Sleater-Kinney’s farewell tour at the 9:30 Club. Band plays their set and the planned encore, club turns up the lights and plays the get-the-fuck out music. No one leaves. 10 straight minutes of cheering later, a bewildered band comes back out and plays Danzig’s “Mother”.
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Horatio Pornviewer @stuntbirdarmy.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
The distracted driving discourse is already popping off but I’d just like to throw in: I’ve been an insurance adjuster for almost 13 years. When I started, we almost never saw high speed rear end impacts. Now they’re like the most common type of claim. It’s distractions, this is obvious.
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