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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️

@maddox.xmission.com
6.9K followers 222 following 1.1K posts

New York Times Bestselling author. Thought Leader. Philanthropist. Genius. All my books: amzn.to/2ouBGqo IG: instagram.com/realmaddox

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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 28/09/2026
AA Gate agent: Do you have the American Airlines app? Me: No, I'm fine actually, I'll just walk.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 25/09/2026
Oh fuck man you're so morally pure I'm gonna cum!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 25/09/2026
Wheel of Fortune: nightmare difficulty setting
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 24/09/2026
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️
THECapedCaper @tccschreiner.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Once again, @maddox.xmission.com is Always Roght
youtu.be
Ed Sheeran makes me want to become a worse person | Maddox
YouTube video by Maddox
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 16/09/2026
Finally ratioed Elon Musk.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 15/09/2026
Today I learned that there are a significant number FBI applicants who have been either tricked or forced into having sex with animals, but are also extremely qualified to become agents trusted with highly-sensitive data, requiring a reversal of a policy. Trans people still out though. Progressive!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 24/08/2026
Guys, I've been reading the news in chronological order since 2025 and just got to this cliffhanger. 20k HHS staff laid off?! Can't wait to see how this ends! NO SPOILERS!!!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 20/08/2026
There hasn't been a new junk-food game in a long time...
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 31/07/2026
Evolution of Snapchat notifications: 2015: Tits! 2026: Turn on your notifications to receive the latest stories from Carl's Junior and American Airlines
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 31/07/2026
Yes
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 29/07/2026
The censorship of giphy continues. Searching for "trump epstein" or "epstein trump" showed the famous gif of them partying together. All of these gifs have been removed and the search-term has been white-washed. Same with January 6th gifs. They're trying to rewrite / bury history.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 28/07/2026
You can use pencil and paper to draw and write things the old-fashioned way, but at what cost? You're cheating yourself of the experience of using AI.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 23/07/2026
Hey guys, I'm in solitary confinement and they don't let me see anyone and the guy next to me is a cannibal but I'm also able to post on social media. Don't forget like and subscribe! 🙏✌️
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 16/07/2026
We may have found the source of the diarrhea outbreak.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 16/07/2026
According to the official CDC website, the best way to avoid getting explosive diarrhea is to avoid eating food with shit on it. Yes, this is real. Glad we have competent experts at the health department looking out for us.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 12/07/2026
My favorite comment I'm seeing as I post this on other social media networks, is that this is how people are finding out
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 12/07/2026
Damn, not Lindsay Graham?! They move fast!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 10/07/2026
It's been far too long, Americans deserve to know why Mitch McConnell has been a shitty senator his entire life.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 10/07/2026
I used to stream Fortnite on Twitch and experimented with turning the game feed into a giant "green screen" by keying out green and putting my face behind the footage. It was absolutely startling when people would forget and see my giant face pop up where grass or loot should be.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 08/07/2026
I keep seeing claims that Mitch McConnell has been declared brain dead. Cool but does anyone know why he's in the hospital?
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 27/06/2026
Likelihood of Elon Musk's autocomplete suggesting the n-word over time
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 24/06/2026
Same
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 21/06/2026
Tenuous peace talks with Iran this week to reopen the strait of reflection.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 17/06/2026
Ever ad from the 90s was like
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 13/06/2026
Like him or hate him, you have to admit Elon Musk is now the world's dumbest bitch.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 11/06/2026
Why is it that people who like to deny, downplay and take credit for ending slavery never want to commemorate the ending of slavery?
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 03/06/2026
Happy pride month!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 03/06/2026
I'm tired of people complaining about American healthcare. It's the best in the world as long as you don't get sick, disabled or old or have teeth or eyes you care about. Most people have two eyes, chill.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️
Badibulgator @badibulgator.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Like what…? Eating soup? bsky.app/profile/madd...
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 31/05/2026
The iPhone remains one of the worst things to happen to smartphones in the history of smartphones. It's shitty design and philosophy has infected every major phone to the point where now you can't buy anything but a cookie cutter dog shit iphone. I use Android, and they are almost identically shitty
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realGuyFawkes. @realguyfawkes.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 28/05/2026
Lot of people shitting on Stephen Miller just because he's incredibly hateful, but you might be cranky too if you spent most of your life trying to prevent a couple of boys from throwing your ring into a volcano.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 27/05/2026
When you bomb a country, destroy their military and assassinate their president, then they don't agree to "peace talks," what bargaining chips do you have? It's kind of like threatening to shoot someone you've already shot. You have no chips. Art of the deal baby!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 27/05/2026
Guys, after carefully thinking about it, doing coke off a toilet seat, getting a brain parasite from eating road kill, getting mercury poisoning by eating too much tuna and becoming addicted to heroin in college, I have discovered the cause of autism: Tylenol.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️
Sean Kelly @storyslug.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
Obviously @maddox.xmission.com, but I'm not gonna talk about him like he's not here.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 23/05/2026
Hey guys, I'm skipping my son's wedding today to discuss war plans for a war we already won three months ago to allegedly disarm a regime that was already disarmed last June. Everything is going fine.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 20/05/2026
The left is mad because despite all their protesting, they can't deny that life has become significantly better under this president for Americans who like to fuck children and Americans who are okay with those who do.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 16/05/2026
Every website: "Hi, I'm Fucko! I'll be your AI virtual assistant. Ask me anything!" Me: asking for literally anything Fucko: I can't help with that!
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 14/05/2026
I like to make a meme with layers, as Rick Harrison has personally co-signed this bullshit.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 13/05/2026
Things that society has largely deemed acceptable behavior: -It's acceptable to torture mosquitoes to any degree -It's acceptable to bully the McDonald's CEO for eating wrong -It's acceptable to bully Cybertruck drivers
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 13/05/2026
I'm deep in the trenches every day
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 13/05/2026
The actual post I made got somewhere near 14k+ if I remember correctly. The screenshot was taken early on
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 13/05/2026
On the front page of Reddit for this banger again. +24k
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 12/05/2026
It has been almost 3 years to the day, and this is still one of the most embarrassing tweets ever made.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 10/05/2026
The more familiar you are with the inside of a Cybertruck, the less familiar you are with the inside of a woman.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 29/04/2026
When the framers of the constitution wrote the first amendment, they meant free speech except for a specific arrangement of sea shells in sand. If you arrange sea shells to represent four forbidden numbers, then you can be indicted by the entire force of the US federal government.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 28/04/2026
I've mostly migrated to other platforms, but I still mill about Twitter to shepherd my followers elsewhere, and to occasionally dunk on one of the most legendary losers on the planet.
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 24/04/2026
Did you know that US Secretary of Commerce, Howard Lutnick, was not in his office in the World Trade Center on 9/11 because he took his son Kyle to school, narrowly missing death, which allowed him to visit Epstein's island in December of 2012?
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🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️ @maddox.xmission.com · 14/04/2026
Guy Fieri is the Joe Rogan of Food Network.
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