Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 08/10/2026My rabbi found my stash of Robert Ludlum and Lee child books and he confiscated them but never acknowledged either of those facts 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 08/10/2026For someone who was in Israel on oct 7, I have nothing profound or interesting or relevant to say let alone anything that could fully capture the complexity of the clusterfuck 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026These last few hours before Shabbat / yom tov are so annoying because I have to be somewhere but there’s nowhere to be. So I’m just floating around angry that I’m ruled by the laws of physics 000
Reposted by BenAcerbic Otter, but SPOOOOOOOOOKY @acerbicotter.bsky.social · 02/10/2026this whole thread is comedy gold 192
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I have a Sefer Torah in my hotel room and it feels like my high school Mashgiach is standing watch with his perpetual disapproving look in the corner 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Oh great we got old people chatgpt commercials and now we get old people on TikTok commercials? Not troubling at all 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026When Bernie Madoff came to my grandfather to get him invest, my grandfathers response was “I worked hard to make this money, at least let me have the fun of losing it myself.” 010
Reposted by BenLadyBusiness @ladybusiness.bsky.social · 30/09/2026On my way to a job interview, smartly leaving the iced coffee at home 1224564617
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Autocorrect just changed cholent to cholesterol and you know… fair… 001
Reposted by BenJaya Saxena @jayasaxena.com · 25/09/2026Wait you guys are getting job interviews? 01798318
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Walked into a big sign that says “luxury redefined” and I wasn’t sure luxury needed to be redefined 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I feel like bald people should have a faster line waiting at the barber. 110
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 24/09/2026My new pet project is commenting “he wasn’t unique in being described as a miracle worker in the Talmudic era” on people going on about how amazing Jesus was on TikTok 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 23/09/2026A few folks haven’t responded to my texts so now I’m assuming everyone’s mad at me 😭 010
Reposted by Benlauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 22/09/2026lots of discussion on here this week about how brains work and what consciousness really is so i'll go ahead and speculate that this is probably fun as fuck for the cow 531342143
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 22/09/2026AI Advocates: ai is going to take legal jobs Actual ai devices: well record all your meetings and generate notes that are discoverable thus keeping lawyers infinitely employed 140
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Fasted for ~26 hours so naturally I’m outside with a cigar and Coke Zero 010
Reposted by BenTashasEv @tashasev.bsky.social · 19/09/2026I had to get the goth violas for my autumn stoop 1547935
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 15/09/2026he looks like an AI robot they keep promising will take all our jobs 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Throw back to October 11, 2023 standing in the airport security line for 4+ hours 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Him: I need money so I can buy inventory and sell it at a markup and make a profit Me: why not sell it before you buy it?static.klipy.comYou Know I Really Am A Genius I'M A GeniusALT: You Know I Really Am A Genius I'M A Genius 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 14/09/2026I brought an expensive bottle of israeli wine, named Plato, to a hasidic rabbi and only one friend of mine realized how funny that is 100
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Holiday was fine. Returning to my depressing af life on the other hand… 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Fwiw my great grandmother was on her way to the airport the morning of 9/11 to fly in from Florida for my bar mitzvah weekend. Needless to say she was turned around at the airport. My stepfather never missed a chance to remind her that she didn’t make it to my bar mitzvah 000
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 09/09/2026have i mentioned recently that i hate asking people for help/favors? 120
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 09/09/2026me to my therapist: jewish new years is coming up therapist: what does jewish new year entail? me: there's 4 weeks, 2 days, 7 days, 1 day, 4 days, and 8 days therapist:static.klipy.comBilizz Makes Funny FacesALT: Bilizz Makes Funny Faces 152
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 08/09/2026This is a very bad time of year to have an existential crisis 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Jewish organization: we need someone to vouch for you Me: ok contact rabbi so and so Jewish org: what’s his email address? Me: he’s Hasidic. No email address jewosh org: in order to ensure quality of our org we need email addresses for people who vouch for applicants Me: Them: Me: Then:static.klipy.comItsponchook: Make It Make Sense - Are You Serious?ALT: Itsponchook: Make It Make Sense - Are You Serious? 010
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 08/09/2026i went to a sheva brachos and i was the only visibly non-hasidic person in the room so obviously everyone assumed i was a wealthy philanthropist 😭🤣 001
Ben @legalshmendrik.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Just spent 15 min on the phone with apple to clarify whether “pick up by Tuesday sept 8” meant sept 7th was the last day to pick it up or if it could be picked up on September 8. having a law degree is so fun 010
