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The Kirk Unit

@kirkcruz.bsky.social
583 followers 311 following 1.3K posts

Chicago gay. Haver of dogs. That’s kinda it, really.

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Reposted by The Kirk Unit
please be nice to patrick @nicetopatrick.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
ancient mesopotamian farmer i'm making watch the sheep detective: this flock is so healthy. so large. it's so beautiful. this future is wondrous me: yeah and it's a movie. that square on the wall is showing another world farmer: you already explained films. do not make me watch ghost of mars again
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
At last! Sports are done for the night, it’s time for Mother’s Day movies courtesy of @sharai.bsky.social
In a dark bar, a large TV above a Jaws pinball machine has just started playing the John Waters movie Serial Mom.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
‘Dating’?
Screen grab of a YouTube thumbnail for a video titled “why gay men are deleting dating apps”
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 13/04/2026
If you think the Pope is a radical leftist, wait till you meet his boss.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Hey kids, here comes the Easter bunny!
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
Private Cruz, reporting for duty!!!
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
NW: Charlie’s Angels One of my absolute fave “get shit done while fun goofy movie plays in the background” flicks h/t Claude @jamiroqueer.bsky.social
Poster for the 2000 movie Charlie’s Angels, the artwork of which features stars Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu against a flaming letter A.
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Hunter Walker @hunterw.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
This movie is so, so, so good. Saw it in the theater a few months back and it truly holds up.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
A play of the “Walker told me I have AIDS” meme, which originally depicts a young Haley Joel Osment saying the famously blunt line.
In this version, the subtitle reads “Mark Joseph Stern told me I have AIDS”, which is a satire on the overwrought reactions to a perhaps-poorly-worded post from Mr Stern, during by which there was a ridiculous pile-on by people making absurd accusation of Mr Stern actually being in support of gay conversion therapy. Mr Stern is himself gay, has consistently spoken out against gay conversion therapy, and even clarified his perhaps-poorly-worded post.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
JW: THE CRAZIES (2010) I know there’s lots of hand-wringing over nepo babies, but if Breck Eisner being a nepo baby is how we got this absolute BANGER of a remake, I’m fine with it.
Crop of the poster for the 2010 movie The Crazies. The image shows a man in loose fitting work pants, holding a pitchfork that has been dragged across the floor so hard & menacingly, the pitchfork has cut rough grooves in the floor.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
I’m at Costco, I forgot my wallet & have been apologizing PROFUSELY to every cashier for paying with cash
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
I am SUCH a good friend
Texts between me and a friend:

Him: I just want to say thanks for being the one friend who doesn't send me 10 fucking reels you expect me to watch. Every day.

Me: Dude, it's getting out of hand, right???
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
I just had ice coffee & popcorn for breakfast. At 3pm. I am an adult.
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DiabolikDVD @diabolikdvd.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
But Amazon has this disc for $2 cheaper and "free" shipping.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
God DAMN and I thought *I* was a slut…
YouTube thumbnail of Science Show’s video titled “Anal teeth, paralyzing farts, and other weaponized butts”

The main image shows what appears to be an anus encrusted with barnacle-like growths kit
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
URGENT HELP NEEDED - can’t move, this little angel is asleep on my hand, who’s free to bring me a breakfast burrito? (it was a late one…)
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
I’m at that stage of sore throat where I sound like a super sexy combo of Humphrey Bogart & Lauren Bacall
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Every guy on Sniffies whose profile says “WON’T MEET WITHOUT A FACE PIC” but then won’t share their face pic.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Mmmmmmm, sugary cereal milk 😍
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allfrightner @allflicker.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
people are complaining that BEN-HUR comes on two 4K discs motherfucker, I had to get up and flip FIVE DIFFERENT laserdiscs #filmsky 📽️
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
This capsule review for HATCHET on VUDU is hysterical. I feel bad if you never rawdogged a hot slut so good you actually caught feelings.
Below the main image from the movie poster for the slasher movie Hatchet, there’s a pull-quote of a review from the NY Times that reads: Horror without suspense is like sex without love: you can appreciate the technicalities, but ultimately there's no reason to care.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
JW: GOOD BOY I’m currently cuddling my dogs extra super close.
Poster for the 2025 movie Good Boy. The main image shows a mixed breed medium sized dog staring ahead at a number of silhouetted ghostly hands reaching toward him.
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Andy, who is ready for pool season @andydoubleyoo.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
If history has taught us anything at all, it's that the Holocaust could have been avoided if only the gestapo were properly trained.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
NW: VAMPYROS LESBOS You and me both, sister
A beautiful blond woman is standing by above a seater older doctor, the subtitles of her dialog read “I find myself in strange situations and do inexplicable things”
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
New drag name! Hallucigenia is bring the Cambrian REALNESS
Illustration of a Cambrian-era (before dinosaurs) sea creature called Hallucigenia. It looks like a purple worm with fourteen legs and ten tentacles protruding out its back.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD is a Christmas movie.
A screen grab from the movie Night Of The Living Dead, showing lead actor Duane Jones in the foreground, with a calendar in the background showing its December 1966.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
something something come down your chimney
Close up face pic of me, with my new white beard that’s evocative of Santa Klaus
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
Gay, but fucking
I write a sentence that contained the phrase “gay buttfucking” and autocorrect tried to correct “buttfucking” to “but fucking”
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
media.tenor.com
three men dressed as mariachis stand in a dirt field
ALT: three men dressed as mariachis stand in a dirt field
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
It’s time for my annual post about the underseen, only-on-DVD, Thanksgiving Horror… DEAN KOONTZ’S INTENSITY BD’s Meagan Navarro explains why it’s a must-watch! …and it’s currently only $13.60! 1/2 @hauntedmeg.bsky.social bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/3...
bloody-disgusting.com
Made-for-TV Movie ‘Intensity’ is an Underseen Thanksgiving Horror Gem
The pool of Thanksgiving horror movies is relatively shallow, with only a handful of requisite titles -like Blood Rage or ThanksKilling– popping up every year. But there’s one glaring omission from th...
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Not sure why this is local to *me*, but it’s def funny!
Screen grab from a news notification that reads:

Local News
Wired Magazine

Young Mormons Built an App to Help Men Quit Gooning
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Yeah, I’ll watch pretty much anything starring Frank Grillo.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Chanting reminders to myself while hosting a houseguest: “Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to wear pants, Don’t forget to…”
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
Age yourself with gaming
A set of original lawn darts, which is a long-since banned lawn game of sharp, heavy darts you would throw across the yard aiming for a circled ring.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
You ever do a deep clean of your fridge & think “Wow, I’m disgusting”? Just me?
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Stop fucking calling medical specialists “dude” and “man” PERSONAL CHALLENGE
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Does anyone else still randomly sing Potatoes & Molasses? Just me?
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alternate rending 😱 🪓 @jamiroqueer.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
Headline: David Harbour cheated on distraught wife in 3-year affair Gays: Feel bad for her but who with, just making sure of something
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James “Vamp” Fleet @horrorfilms101.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
Also most millennial men didn't have a "Nazi phase" (JFC), we had a "one of the cast members in 'Batman Forever' is doing something for me" phase.
nicole kidmanchris o donnell
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
BRAIN DAMAGE 1988 Dir. Frank Henenlotter #HomoeroticHorror
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Chicago Gays, we’re looking at a warmer & wetter winter. How will this affect Cuffing Season?
NOAA’s newly-released map of seasonal weather for Nov 2025 through Jan 2026, which shows much warmer weather for about 3/4 of the lower US, including the entirety of Illinois. 

It also shows that roughly the top left quarter of the country will be wetter than usual.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
There’s a LOT of dicks in my camera roll. Like… a LOT a lot.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Can’t sleep, goth clowns will eat me… #Frightclub
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Jason Takes Man-Adams @jamnpp.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.
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Andy, who is ready for pool season @andydoubleyoo.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
Sometimes social media shows me political shit posts that stress me out but other times I get to see my hot internet friends (and a few IRL friends) naked, so it balances out.
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Check me out, being social! Outside! With people! At My Buddy’s bar on Clark
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
Chicago folks, be careful using personal drones from now through Oct 12. They’ve just been restricted, I’m guessing so citizens can’t track ICE activity?
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The Kirk Unit @kirkcruz.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Chicago Gays, I just ran the numbers & incl myself there’s only 11 guys who can host. Y’all really should work it out with your roommates.
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