JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 5hImagine being Eric Schmitt. He and his staff planted stories about him being a 2028 VP pick, got losers like Matt Gaetz to hype him up on social media, printed posterboards, booked him some victory lap appearances for last night, and at no point checked anything for accuracy. Beautiful. 24110
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15hI bet a functional Department of Justice would find something to charge this dirtbag with along with the rest of the GOPedos. 02310
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15hIf you had a dollar for every trans athlete ruining a sport, you couldn't buy a gallon of gas. Or 4 quarters. 1127
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 18hBREAKING: Trump admits he's not smart enough to regulate AI. *Not like bozos policing themselves is worth a shit either. apnews.com/article/trum...apnews.comTrump says top tech firms have signed accord to 'self-police' AI developmentPresident Donald Trump says that he and a large group of leaders of artificial intelligence companies had signed a voluntary accord that will include internal and external reviews of the technology du... 152
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 20hJack Smith is a patriot and anyone wanting my vote needs to make him Attorney General immediately upon taking office. 3337
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026If Trump bulldozes the Kennedy Center, it's all Mike Lee's fault. www.theguardian.com/culture/2026...theguardian.comUS senator blocks bill to ban Trump from demolishing Kennedy Center without Congress’s approvalMike Lee objected to the safeguard against the demolition of any presidential memorial Congress designates 12310
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026Trump's regime scraps Title IX protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation, saying that the government is strictly for rapists, by rapists. www.upi.com/Top_News/US/...upi.comTrump administration repeals Title IX protections for LGBTQ students - UPI.comThe Trump administration finalized its repeal of Title IX protections for LGTBQ students on Monday in a reversal of a Biden administration policy. 095
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026Bad News: Netanyahu says actor Adam Brody is just weeks away from a nuclear weapon and must be stopped. variety.com/2026/tv/news...variety.comAdam Brody Calls for a ‘Free Palestine,’ Says He’s Never ‘Ducked’ Politics: ‘I Just Answer the Questions I’m Asked’Adam Brody is calling for “free Palestine” and explaining why his political activism doesn’t come up during his red-carpet appearances. 060
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026BREAKING: Texas's Governor Abbott declares Trump is a disaster. www.texastribune.org/2026/09/28/t...texastribune.orgAbbott declares disaster over high diesel prices in TexasMonday marks seven months since the U.S.-Iran war began, which has restricted oil and gas exports from the Middle East, raising prices ahead of the Nov. 3 election. 3199
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026So for the election year Scaravan tactic to work, you have to admit that Trump's impregnable border won't keep them out. The administration needs to refute this as bullshit or say the border is insecure. 3133
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026Trump spent $319,000 of your money, my money, to recycle a 2024 campaign ad during NFL Sunday games. Even Republicans are saying it's wrong. Talk is cheap. Impeach this asshole and give me my goddamn money back! thehill.com/homenews/adm...thehill.comWhite House airs taxpayer-funded ad talking about ‘the final battle’A taxpayer-funded advertisement from the White House aired Sunday during the commercial breaks of two NFL games, CNN reported. Included in the ad, according to the outlet, was imagery of President … 67927
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026This shithead has a $400 million dollar PAC and can't run for president again, and instead he's spending OUR money to run ads again that were made 2 years ago. Congress could stop this shit any day they want. www.nbcnews.com/politics/tru...nbcnews.comWhite House releases new taxpayer-funded ad describing ‘final battle’The ad is nearly identical to one Trump’s presidential campaign released in 2024. 0163
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026And charge Cornell leadership with criminal conspiracy for sweeping this under the rug while you're at it. nypost.com/2026/09/27/u...nypost.comDA reopens probe into 7 Cornell frat bros who allegedly drugged, gang-raped student — and were given essay to ‘mitigate conduct’The lawsuit alleged that the victim, identified only as Jane Doe, was coerced into taking drugs, assaulted, and raped by several men at the Chi Phi fraternity house at Cornell in 2024. 14268104
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026If any real journalists make their way back into the White House, one of them should ask Trump why he's agreed to set up an AI safety net with China when he insists that we don't need one. www.thetelegraph.com/news/world/a...thetelegraph.comChina and US agree to establish AI safety channel and continue trade and military talksChina and the U.S. have agreed to set up a channel for handling AI-related incidents and accelerate work on military crisis communications. This follows a three-day summit between their leaders in... 11712
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026Turkish President Erdogan says the UN Security Council veto power needs to go because it prevents anything from getting done, like when the US vetoed action in Gaza 7 times over the past 3 years. Their tinpot dictator makes more sense than ours. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.orgTurkiye calls for UN Security Council veto to end: Could it happen?Fully abolishing the veto would require the unlikely agreement of all five permanent Security Council members. 1183
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026Does everyone realize what a return on investment electing Trump was? Pardons. Insider info. Pay to play. Pay to exclude. War for sale, for fucks' sake. Next time, they will be lining up to spend billions to elect the next crooked as fuck puppet president. We cannot let that happen again. 11270101
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026Radosław Sikorski, Poland's minister of Foreign Affairs, has more balls than the entire Republican party. Meanwhile, our president is blaming Ukraine for diesel prices. What a fucking embarrassment. 9445153
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026One day, little Marco is going to try to rehab his image. Fuck that. He sold his soul with eyes wide open. Traitor. 14213
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026Israel bans Arab parties from standing for elections, but candidates with international sanctions or ICC warrants are fine. Stop sending my money to this fucking shithole country. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.orgIsrael bans Arab parties from election: Who they are, why it mattersIsraeli politicians subject to ICC arrest warrants or international sanctions remain eligible to run. 2204
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026As far as I'm concerned, everyone who celebrated Netanyahu's speech can stand next to him at The Hague. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.orgNetanyahu’s UN belligerence wins cheers at home as world walks outIsraeli PM's defiant UN speech alienated critics abroad but delighted his base as elections draw near. 2206
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026If we lived in a civilized country, the entire leadership of Cornell University would be heading to jail. Essays for rapists. The fuck. 1348
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026Trump spent PUBLIC money on ads promoting himself. Another day, another fucking dozen impeachable acts. Just fucking imagine if a Dem did this. www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...usatoday.comTrump uses public funds for 'Love me' ad that promotes himselfThe White House is using public funds for a TV ad that promotes President Trump and his record, calling it a "public service announcement." 21914
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026BREAKING: Kash Patel has been fucking clams too. www.foodsafetynews.com/2026/09/hepa...foodsafetynews.comHepatitis A outbreak traced to clams continuesThe CDC and FDA are continuing to investigate an outbreak of hepatitis A infections linked to imported black clams. The Food and Drug Administration has posted a warning about La Serranita-brand conc... 193
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026Rejecting ads for a documentary about a billionaire as "political" gives away that billionaires own our politics. www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...hollywoodreporter.comThe Major Social Media Platforms Are All Rejecting Paid Ads for Alex Gibney’s ‘Musk’ (Exclusive)YouTube, TikTok and Meta have all turned down the trailer for the Oct. 9 doc, citing “political” content. X won't even take Bleecker Street's calls. The distributor is appealing. 53318
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15/01/2026Donald Trump is a pedophile protector and I identify as a Fucking Bitch. 2040066
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026Tesla's lawyers argued in court that they are taking back the N-Word. If the Nazi salutes weren't enough, they are now defending using slurs at workers. Sell your Teslas or be lumped in with these assholes. futurism.com/advanced-tra...futurism.comTesla Argues in Court That the N-Word Is Acceptable Under Certain CircumstancesAn important trial in California kicked off with Tesla's lawyers arguing that the n-word is a term of "respect and endearment." 32415
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026A counselor in Texas was convicted for defrauding tens of millions in Military Health benefits. I wonder if his choice of ride tipped them off. 12210
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026If you're gonna roast your tainted vegetables as a side for your tainted meat, consider sprinkling them with some tainted brown sugar first. Don't forget to wash up with tainted soap! Is their midterm strategy for us all to be too busy shitting ourselves to vote? parade.com/food/sugar-r...parade.comNearly 2 Million Pounds of Sugar Recalled Over Undeclared AllergenThe FDA upgraded it to a Class II recall. 2158
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026New Jersey's Lieutenant Governor, Dale Caldwell, has resigned following an ethics investigation. Democrats proved they can clean up their house. The GOP is stained orange forever. www.politico.com/news/2026/09...politico.comNew Jersey’s lieutenant governor resigns under pressure from Sherrill, fellow DemocratsThe governor had called on her number-two, Dale Caldwell, to step down after the release of a damaging internal investigation. 1187
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026I really don't care, do u? www.motherjones.com/mojo-wire/20...motherjones.comWhat World Is Melania Living In?“He works nonstop,” the First Lady said, defending her husband, whose approval ratings are underwater. 4192
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026NJ Governor Sherrill is calling on her Lieutenant Governor to resign following a damning ethics investigation. Apparently, government can still function as intended when Democrats are involved. thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/thehill....thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.orgNew Jersey governor calls on lieutenant governor to resign over ethics reportNew Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill (D) gave Lt. Gov. Dale Caldwell (D) until Friday to resign over a new ethics report that found he violated state policy against discrimination in the workplace. Inves… 29536
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026A member of the Israeli delegation went around the UN hall to write down everyone who left during Netanyahu's speech. Can we get that list for the next Antifa mailer? 5102
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026Another day, another MAGAT pedophile. Priceless that he was booked wearing his official Club Pedo T-shirt. 0154
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026If it happens while I'm in surgery, wake my ass up! 66419
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026After he burned Macklemore and drove off the rest of the performers, weather cancels Ed Sheeran's show at Gillette Stadium anyway. Karma's a bitch, but Sheeran and Robert Kraft are cunts. 2155
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026My favorite was watching the boats covered with Trump banners sinking. 26621
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026We won't forget who got us into this mess as they try to wash their hands of it now. To quote the late great George Carlin: "Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks!" www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...the-independent.comTucker Carlson says Trump’s Cabinet must remove him from office under 25th AmendmentFormer Fox News anchor says president should have been removed after threatening a ‘nuclear attack’ on Iran 1136
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 24/09/2026If a war criminal and baby murderer has a problem with you, you should wear that shit as a badge of honor. Screenshot because I won't link to CBS regime media. 282
Reposted by JonZoidbergJonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 24/09/2026UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres' reaction during the Manchurian Cantaloupe's speech is all of us. 05318
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026Tesla's lawyers argued in court that they are taking back the N-Word. If the Nazi salutes weren't enough, they are now defending using slurs at workers. Sell your Teslas or be lumped in with these assholes. futurism.com/advanced-tra...futurism.comTesla Argues in Court That the N-Word Is Acceptable Under Certain CircumstancesAn important trial in California kicked off with Tesla's lawyers arguing that the n-word is a term of "respect and endearment." 32415
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026A counselor in Texas was convicted for defrauding tens of millions in Military Health benefits. I wonder if his choice of ride tipped them off. 12210
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026If you're gonna roast your tainted vegetables as a side for your tainted meat, consider sprinkling them with some tainted brown sugar first. Don't forget to wash up with tainted soap! Is their midterm strategy for us all to be too busy shitting ourselves to vote? parade.com/food/sugar-r...parade.comNearly 2 Million Pounds of Sugar Recalled Over Undeclared AllergenThe FDA upgraded it to a Class II recall. 2158
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026New Jersey's Lieutenant Governor, Dale Caldwell, has resigned following an ethics investigation. Democrats proved they can clean up their house. The GOP is stained orange forever. www.politico.com/news/2026/09...politico.comNew Jersey’s lieutenant governor resigns under pressure from Sherrill, fellow DemocratsThe governor had called on her number-two, Dale Caldwell, to step down after the release of a damaging internal investigation. 1187
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026I really don't care, do u? www.motherjones.com/mojo-wire/20...motherjones.comWhat World Is Melania Living In?“He works nonstop,” the First Lady said, defending her husband, whose approval ratings are underwater. 4192
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026NJ Governor Sherrill is calling on her Lieutenant Governor to resign following a damning ethics investigation. Apparently, government can still function as intended when Democrats are involved. thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/thehill....thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.orgNew Jersey governor calls on lieutenant governor to resign over ethics reportNew Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill (D) gave Lt. Gov. Dale Caldwell (D) until Friday to resign over a new ethics report that found he violated state policy against discrimination in the workplace. Inves… 29536
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026A member of the Israeli delegation went around the UN hall to write down everyone who left during Netanyahu's speech. Can we get that list for the next Antifa mailer? 5102
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026Another day, another MAGAT pedophile. Priceless that he was booked wearing his official Club Pedo T-shirt. 0154
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026After he burned Macklemore and drove off the rest of the performers, weather cancels Ed Sheeran's show at Gillette Stadium anyway. Karma's a bitch, but Sheeran and Robert Kraft are cunts. 2155