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JonZoidberg

@jonzoidberg.xyz
58K followers 50K following 9K posts

#Bluedot in a red sea, husband, dad to kids and fur kids. Nurse Anesthetist. Amateur baker and canner. Blue crab of the resistance! Trans rights are human rights.🏳️‍⚧️ Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 5h
Imagine being Eric Schmitt. He and his staff planted stories about him being a 2028 VP pick, got losers like Matt Gaetz to hype him up on social media, printed posterboards, booked him some victory lap appearances for last night, and at no point checked anything for accuracy. Beautiful.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15h
I bet a functional Department of Justice would find something to charge this dirtbag with along with the rest of the GOPedos.
Senator Eric Schmitt (R-MO) DIRTBAG
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15h
If you had a dollar for every trans athlete ruining a sport, you couldn't buy a gallon of gas. Or 4 quarters.
Voters care about everything else more than they care about trans issues, new poll finds

The economy, Al datacenters, the war in Iran... voters were more likely to say all these issues were more important than trans issues.

Share:

Molly Sprayregen (She/Her) September 29, 2026, 11:30 am EDT
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 18h
BREAKING: Trump admits he's not smart enough to regulate AI. *Not like bozos policing themselves is worth a shit either. apnews.com/article/trum...
apnews.com
Trump says top tech firms have signed accord to 'self-police' AI development
President Donald Trump says that he and a large group of leaders of artificial intelligence companies had signed a voluntary accord that will include internal and external reviews of the technology du...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 20h
Jack Smith is a patriot and anyone wanting my vote needs to make him Attorney General immediately upon taking office.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
If Trump bulldozes the Kennedy Center, it's all Mike Lee's fault. www.theguardian.com/culture/2026...
theguardian.com
US senator blocks bill to ban Trump from demolishing Kennedy Center without Congress’s approval
Mike Lee objected to the safeguard against the demolition of any presidential memorial Congress designates
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
Trump's regime scraps Title IX protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation, saying that the government is strictly for rapists, by rapists. www.upi.com/Top_News/US/...
upi.com
Trump administration repeals Title IX protections for LGBTQ students - UPI.com
The Trump administration finalized its repeal of Title IX protections for LGTBQ students on Monday in a reversal of a Biden administration policy.
095
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
Bad News: Netanyahu says actor Adam Brody is just weeks away from a nuclear weapon and must be stopped. variety.com/2026/tv/news...
variety.com
Adam Brody Calls for a ‘Free Palestine,’ Says He’s Never ‘Ducked’ Politics: ‘I Just Answer the Questions I’m Asked’
Adam Brody is calling for “free Palestine” and explaining why his political activism doesn’t come up during his red-carpet appearances.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
BREAKING: Texas's Governor Abbott declares Trump is a disaster. www.texastribune.org/2026/09/28/t...
texastribune.org
Abbott declares disaster over high diesel prices in Texas
Monday marks seven months since the U.S.-Iran war began, which has restricted oil and gas exports from the Middle East, raising prices ahead of the Nov. 3 election.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
So for the election year Scaravan tactic to work, you have to admit that Trump's impregnable border won't keep them out. The administration needs to refute this as bullshit or say the border is insecure.
MIGRANT CARAVAN

DHS sends ominous warning as migrant caravan heads toward US-Mexico border from

Honduras

The caravan of hundreds departed San Pedro Sula on September 20 and is moving north toward the US-Mexico border

By Louis Casiano, Bill Melugin Fox News

Published September 28, 2026 5:53pm EDT
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 29/09/2026
Trump spent $319,000 of your money, my money, to recycle a 2024 campaign ad during NFL Sunday games. Even Republicans are saying it's wrong. Talk is cheap. Impeach this asshole and give me my goddamn money back! thehill.com/homenews/adm...
thehill.com
White House airs taxpayer-funded ad talking about ‘the final battle’
A taxpayer-funded advertisement from the White House aired Sunday during the commercial breaks of two NFL games, CNN reported. Included in the ad, according to the outlet, was imagery of President …
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026
This shithead has a $400 million dollar PAC and can't run for president again, and instead he's spending OUR money to run ads again that were made 2 years ago. Congress could stop this shit any day they want. www.nbcnews.com/politics/tru...
nbcnews.com
White House releases new taxpayer-funded ad describing ‘final battle’
The ad is nearly identical to one Trump’s presidential campaign released in 2024.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026
And charge Cornell leadership with criminal conspiracy for sweeping this under the rug while you're at it. nypost.com/2026/09/27/u...
nypost.com
DA reopens probe into 7 Cornell frat bros who allegedly drugged, gang-raped student — and were given essay to ‘mitigate conduct’
The lawsuit alleged that the victim, identified only as Jane Doe, was coerced into taking drugs, assaulted, and raped by several men at the Chi Phi fraternity house at Cornell in 2024.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 28/09/2026
If any real journalists make their way back into the White House, one of them should ask Trump why he's agreed to set up an AI safety net with China when he insists that we don't need one. www.thetelegraph.com/news/world/a...
thetelegraph.com
China and US agree to establish AI safety channel and continue trade and military talks
China and the U.S. have agreed to set up a channel for handling AI-related incidents and accelerate work on military crisis communications. This follows a three-day summit between their leaders in...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
Turkish President Erdogan says the UN Security Council veto power needs to go because it prevents anything from getting done, like when the US vetoed action in Gaza 7 times over the past 3 years. Their tinpot dictator makes more sense than ours. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...
www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org
Turkiye calls for UN Security Council veto to end: Could it happen?
Fully abolishing the veto would require the unlikely agreement of all five permanent Security Council members.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
Does everyone realize what a return on investment electing Trump was? Pardons. Insider info. Pay to play. Pay to exclude. War for sale, for fucks' sake. Next time, they will be lining up to spend billions to elect the next crooked as fuck puppet president. We cannot let that happen again.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
Radosław Sikorski, Poland's minister of Foreign Affairs, has more balls than the entire Republican party. Meanwhile, our president is blaming Ukraine for diesel prices. What a fucking embarrassment.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
One day, little Marco is going to try to rehab his image. Fuck that. He sold his soul with eyes wide open. Traitor.
Marco Rubio: "For years to come, there are many people on the right...that are going to be having to explain and justify how they fell into this trap of supporting Donald Trump because this is not going to end well." (2016)
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
Israel bans Arab parties from standing for elections, but candidates with international sanctions or ICC warrants are fine. Stop sending my money to this fucking shithole country. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...
www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org
Israel bans Arab parties from election: Who they are, why it matters
Israeli politicians subject to ICC arrest warrants or international sanctions remain eligible to run.
2204
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
As far as I'm concerned, everyone who celebrated Netanyahu's speech can stand next to him at The Hague. www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.alja...
www-aljazeera-com.cdn.ampproject.org
Netanyahu’s UN belligerence wins cheers at home as world walks out
Israeli PM's defiant UN speech alienated critics abroad but delighted his base as elections draw near.
2206
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 27/09/2026
If we lived in a civilized country, the entire leadership of Cornell University would be heading to jail. Essays for rapists. The fuck.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026
Trump spent PUBLIC money on ads promoting himself. Another day, another fucking dozen impeachable acts. Just fucking imagine if a Dem did this. www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
usatoday.com
Trump uses public funds for 'Love me' ad that promotes himself
The White House is using public funds for a TV ad that promotes President Trump and his record, calling it a "public service announcement."
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026
BREAKING: Kash Patel has been fucking clams too. www.foodsafetynews.com/2026/09/hepa...
foodsafetynews.com
Hepatitis A outbreak traced to clams continues
The CDC and FDA are continuing to investigate an outbreak of hepatitis A infections linked to imported black clams. The Food and Drug Administration has posted a warning about La Serranita-brand conc...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026
Rejecting ads for a documentary about a billionaire as "political" gives away that billionaires own our politics. www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...
hollywoodreporter.com
The Major Social Media Platforms Are All Rejecting Paid Ads for Alex Gibney’s ‘Musk’ (Exclusive)
YouTube, TikTok and Meta have all turned down the trailer for the Oct. 9 doc, citing “political” content. X won't even take Bleecker Street's calls. The distributor is appealing.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 26/09/2026
Would. Not. Surprise. Me. One. Bit.
"Macklemore is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon"

-parody of netanyahu at the UN
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15/01/2026
Donald Trump is a pedophile protector and I identify as a Fucking Bitch.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
Tesla's lawyers argued in court that they are taking back the N-Word. If the Nazi salutes weren't enough, they are now defending using slurs at workers. Sell your Teslas or be lumped in with these assholes. futurism.com/advanced-tra...
futurism.com
Tesla Argues in Court That the N-Word Is Acceptable Under Certain Circumstances
An important trial in California kicked off with Tesla's lawyers arguing that the n-word is a term of "respect and endearment."
32415
Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
A counselor in Texas was convicted for defrauding tens of millions in Military Health benefits. I wonder if his choice of ride tipped them off.
 Kevin Curry's gold-plated Tesla Cybertruck, purchased with his fraudulent proceeds.
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
If you're gonna roast your tainted vegetables as a side for your tainted meat, consider sprinkling them with some tainted brown sugar first. Don't forget to wash up with tainted soap! Is their midterm strategy for us all to be too busy shitting ourselves to vote? parade.com/food/sugar-r...
parade.com
Nearly 2 Million Pounds of Sugar Recalled Over Undeclared Allergen
The FDA upgraded it to a Class II recall.
2158
Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
New Jersey's Lieutenant Governor, Dale Caldwell, has resigned following an ethics investigation. Democrats proved they can clean up their house. The GOP is stained orange forever. www.politico.com/news/2026/09...
politico.com
New Jersey’s lieutenant governor resigns under pressure from Sherrill, fellow Democrats
The governor had called on her number-two, Dale Caldwell, to step down after the release of a damaging internal investigation.
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
I really don't care, do u? www.motherjones.com/mojo-wire/20...
motherjones.com
What World Is Melania Living In?
“He works nonstop,” the First Lady said, defending her husband, whose approval ratings are underwater.
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
NJ Governor Sherrill is calling on her Lieutenant Governor to resign following a damning ethics investigation. Apparently, government can still function as intended when Democrats are involved. thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/thehill....
thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org
New Jersey governor calls on lieutenant governor to resign over ethics report
New Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill (D) gave Lt. Gov. Dale Caldwell (D) until Friday to resign over a new ethics report that found he violated state policy against discrimination in the workplace. Inves…
29536
Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
A member of the Israeli delegation went around the UN hall to write down everyone who left during Netanyahu's speech. Can we get that list for the next Antifa mailer?
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
Another day, another MAGAT pedophile. Priceless that he was booked wearing his official Club Pedo T-shirt.
Picture of a neck beard loser wearing a gulf of America T-shirt 

Jonesboro Police Department

22 hours ago

In early September, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children contacted our department about CSAM material uploaded to a Google

account.

Google provided the account's IP address, along with an email address and

date of birth. The IP address appeared to belong to Optimum Communications in Jonesboro, AR. Arkansas State Police served a subpoena on Optimum for subscriber information for the IP address, and it returned an address on Harrisburg Road linked to a woman with the last name Daffron.

A search of that woman and the address found that her husband was Gregory

Daffron, and he also lived at the address on Harrisburg Rd. Upon gathering information on Gregory Daffron, it was found that his date of birth was the same date of birth given on the account of Honey Badger that uploaded the

44 videos of Child Sexual Abuse Material to the Google account.

Authorities issued a warrant, and Gregory Daffron was arrested on Tuesday, on September 22nd. He appeared before a judge, who set a $250,000 bond and denied him internet access.

Great job, team!
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
If it happens while I'm in surgery, wake my ass up!
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
After he burned Macklemore and drove off the rest of the performers, weather cancels Ed Sheeran's show at Gillette Stadium anyway. Karma's a bitch, but Sheeran and Robert Kraft are cunts.
AV

CLUB

Newsletter

Well, Ed Sheeran's shows at Gillette Stadium have been canceled anyway

After major controversy, Sheeran's performances at the Robert Kraft- owned venue have ultimately been canceled due to inclement weather.

By Drew Gillis | September 25, 2026 | 11:00am

Screenshot: YouTube

MUSIC > NEWS > ED SHEERAN

38
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
My favorite was watching the boats covered with Trump banners sinking.
HEY TRUCKERS! Remember when diesel was so cheap under Biden you would caravan to DC waving your stupid trump banners?
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
We won't forget who got us into this mess as they try to wash their hands of it now. To quote the late great George Carlin: "Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks!" www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
the-independent.com
Tucker Carlson says Trump’s Cabinet must remove him from office under 25th Amendment
Former Fox News anchor says president should have been removed after threatening a ‘nuclear attack’ on Iran
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Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 24/09/2026
If a war criminal and baby murderer has a problem with you, you should wear that shit as a badge of honor. Screenshot because I won't link to CBS regime media.
Politics

Netanyahu says "shame on you" to Mamdani, claims "Jews no longer feel safe in New York"

By Caitlin Yilek

September 24, 2026/3:52 PM EDT/CBS News
282
Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 24/09/2026
UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres' reaction during the Manchurian Cantaloupe's speech is all of us.
Facepalm: UN Sec. General Antonio Guterres during the "speech" of Donald Trump at the UN General Assembly, Sept. 22nd 2026
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
Tesla's lawyers argued in court that they are taking back the N-Word. If the Nazi salutes weren't enough, they are now defending using slurs at workers. Sell your Teslas or be lumped in with these assholes. futurism.com/advanced-tra...
futurism.com
Tesla Argues in Court That the N-Word Is Acceptable Under Certain Circumstances
An important trial in California kicked off with Tesla's lawyers arguing that the n-word is a term of "respect and endearment."
32415
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
A counselor in Texas was convicted for defrauding tens of millions in Military Health benefits. I wonder if his choice of ride tipped them off.
 Kevin Curry's gold-plated Tesla Cybertruck, purchased with his fraudulent proceeds.
12210
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
If you're gonna roast your tainted vegetables as a side for your tainted meat, consider sprinkling them with some tainted brown sugar first. Don't forget to wash up with tainted soap! Is their midterm strategy for us all to be too busy shitting ourselves to vote? parade.com/food/sugar-r...
parade.com
Nearly 2 Million Pounds of Sugar Recalled Over Undeclared Allergen
The FDA upgraded it to a Class II recall.
2158
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
New Jersey's Lieutenant Governor, Dale Caldwell, has resigned following an ethics investigation. Democrats proved they can clean up their house. The GOP is stained orange forever. www.politico.com/news/2026/09...
politico.com
New Jersey’s lieutenant governor resigns under pressure from Sherrill, fellow Democrats
The governor had called on her number-two, Dale Caldwell, to step down after the release of a damaging internal investigation.
1187
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
I really don't care, do u? www.motherjones.com/mojo-wire/20...
motherjones.com
What World Is Melania Living In?
“He works nonstop,” the First Lady said, defending her husband, whose approval ratings are underwater.
4192
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
NJ Governor Sherrill is calling on her Lieutenant Governor to resign following a damning ethics investigation. Apparently, government can still function as intended when Democrats are involved. thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/thehill....
thehill-com.cdn.ampproject.org
New Jersey governor calls on lieutenant governor to resign over ethics report
New Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill (D) gave Lt. Gov. Dale Caldwell (D) until Friday to resign over a new ethics report that found he violated state policy against discrimination in the workplace. Inves…
29536
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
A member of the Israeli delegation went around the UN hall to write down everyone who left during Netanyahu's speech. Can we get that list for the next Antifa mailer?
5102
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
Another day, another MAGAT pedophile. Priceless that he was booked wearing his official Club Pedo T-shirt.
Picture of a neck beard loser wearing a gulf of America T-shirt 

Jonesboro Police Department

22 hours ago

In early September, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children contacted our department about CSAM material uploaded to a Google

account.

Google provided the account's IP address, along with an email address and

date of birth. The IP address appeared to belong to Optimum Communications in Jonesboro, AR. Arkansas State Police served a subpoena on Optimum for subscriber information for the IP address, and it returned an address on Harrisburg Road linked to a woman with the last name Daffron.

A search of that woman and the address found that her husband was Gregory

Daffron, and he also lived at the address on Harrisburg Rd. Upon gathering information on Gregory Daffron, it was found that his date of birth was the same date of birth given on the account of Honey Badger that uploaded the

44 videos of Child Sexual Abuse Material to the Google account.

Authorities issued a warrant, and Gregory Daffron was arrested on Tuesday, on September 22nd. He appeared before a judge, who set a $250,000 bond and denied him internet access.

Great job, team!
0154
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
If it happens while I'm in surgery, wake my ass up!
66419
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 25/09/2026
After he burned Macklemore and drove off the rest of the performers, weather cancels Ed Sheeran's show at Gillette Stadium anyway. Karma's a bitch, but Sheeran and Robert Kraft are cunts.
AV

CLUB

Newsletter

Well, Ed Sheeran's shows at Gillette Stadium have been canceled anyway

After major controversy, Sheeran's performances at the Robert Kraft- owned venue have ultimately been canceled due to inclement weather.

By Drew Gillis | September 25, 2026 | 11:00am

Screenshot: YouTube

MUSIC > NEWS > ED SHEERAN

38
2155