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🪩 Kiri 🪩

@kirio.bsky.social
2.6K followers 851 following 2.9K posts

Witch by day, vampire by night. | I write about sports sometimes. | she/her

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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 2h
Some truly stunning sentences in here.
Orifice the Awebot rolled down the sidewalk across from the Betsy Ross House last Friday, striking joy, confusion, and mild terror in those who unexpectedly encountered her — and nobody expects to encounter a two-foot-tall, pink, potato-shaped robot with a dangling tongue, blue eyes, and a shock of blond hair.“Is this a good hair day or a bad day for it?” a man in an Eagles jersey asked.

“Does it poop?” another guy wondered.Artist Madison Polidoro (aka 10 Ton Fetus), a sculptor and metal fabricator whose human-animal-hybrid creatures like “Skin Horse” inhabit the bathrooms at MoA, brought Orifice to life. She’s affectionately known as the robot’s “mommy.”Polidoro fabricated Orifice’s base out of aluminum and left an empty vessel in the center, so it can carry things. She made the skin out of weatherproof urethane rubber and included an orifice on the robot’s rear end, which is where it gets its name.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 3h
I'm frankly offended that the Target app sent me a push notification about the new Sarah J. Maas book. No judgement if that's what you're into, I just feel like the Target app should know me better than that.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 4h
an under-discussed aspect of Lane Kiffin's whole deal is that his name is an anagram for "I knife flan." really makes you think.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 20h
This man brings his acoustic guitar to house parties and serenades women against their will.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 20h
Was only half listening and tuned back in just in time to catch John Kruk saying, "The only thing you can do is be prepared to die."
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
No one does an absent-minded shoulder shimmy like Fernando Tatis Jr.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Has Mason Miller ever looked frazzled in his whole entire life?
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ben Rice could never
Ernie Clement sliding into home with a flourish
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🖤♡Amanda♡🖤 @zephyrsky.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more Philadelphia Citizen alert
0.8 mi • S 9th St & Wharton St
People Throwing Sandwiches at Customers at Pat's King of Steaks
Reported 19m ago • 2.3K notifications • 266 views
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
They don't call him AJ Blue Balls for nothing, amirite folks??? (he's dispensing them to Hunter Brown in this scenario) (the best jokes are the ones you have to explain)
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Agent Dale Cooper also watched Phillies/Braves
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Watching the Phillies as God intended -- standing up with my back to the screen.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Someday we're gonna find out that Alec Bohm is using Old Spice 3-in-1 on his hair (and absolutely nothing else) and I'm gonna be livid.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
baseball is such a stupid sport I love it so much
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FanGraphs Baseball @fangraphs.com · 30/09/2026
If Leo Tolstoy had scripted the 2026 Padres, he might have said they are “not a playoff team, much less a contender, and still less a club in the midst of a rebuild.” And yet, like Tolstoy, the Friars defy convention. They continued doing so in Game 1 against the Cubs, writes @kirio.bsky.social
blogs.fangraphs.com
Padres Triumphed in the Battle of Game 1, but Can They Win the War and Know Peace?
The Padres may defy all ontological conventions, but that didn’t stop them from earning a dominant win in Game 1 of their Wild Card Series against the Cubs.
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Arif Hasan, but NFL🔨⚒️🛠️ @arif.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Wrote a piece for the Guardian Jameis Winston is now the New York Giants’ starter. He’s far from a goofball hero www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/s...
theguardian.com
Jameis Winston is now the New York Giants’ starter. He’s far from a goofball hero though
The quarterback is widely adored on and off the field. Whether he deserves the public spotlight is another question
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
They made a literary reference on the broadcast, so obviously, I framed my entire story around it.
blogs.fangraphs.com
Padres Triumphed in the Battle of Game 1, but Can They Win the War and Know Peace?
The Padres may defy all ontological conventions, but that didn’t stop them from earning a dominant win in Game 1 of their Wild Card Series against the Cubs.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Me eating cereal at 2 am
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tatis sliding into home
static.klipy.com
Ariel, The Little Mermaid Princess
Alt: Ariel, The Little Mermaid Princess
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I really love the plié Michael King does whenever he's pitching out of the stretch.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I've really been luxuriating in the absence of John Smoltz today.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The pope is a better person than me because I would have created a linguistic carve out to exclude Jerry Reinsdorf from those abundant blessings he mentions at the end.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Leave it to Benetti to have the only tolerable Liberty Mutual commercial.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Have we gotten pedantic about the abbvie commercial claiming a "strikeout travels 60 feet 6 inches" yet?
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 27/09/2026
felt very strongly that we needed this image on this platform
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
idc that no one cares about my fantasy team. I'm gonna brag about winning my WNBA fantasy league. apologies to the haters and losers.
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LancCo Rob (Topper? I hardly know her! Edition) @lanccorob.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Behold, my final WPBL recap of the season. But rest assured, I am not done yapping about this league.
blogs.fangraphs.com
Queens Crowned Baseball Royalty, Beat Firebells in WPBL Championship
In a thrilling conclusion to a thrilling inaugural season, Los Angeles outlasted San Francisco in a WPBL championship series that went the distance.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Rare Idaho dub.
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Emily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Behold, my final WPBL recap of the season. But rest assured, I am not done yapping about this league.
blogs.fangraphs.com
Queens Crowned Baseball Royalty, Beat Firebells in WPBL Championship
In a thrilling conclusion to a thrilling inaugural season, Los Angeles outlasted San Francisco in a WPBL championship series that went the distance.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Just remembered that I made this.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
You can tell the WPBL is a legit league because they're letting a billionaire hold the trophy before the actual players who won it.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
We needed a professional women's baseball league to exist because no men's league was gonna celebrate a title by playing What Dreams Are Made Of from The Lizzie McGuire Movie.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
whole squad crying
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Holy shit. Queens win the WPBL's inaugural championship on a CGSO from Ayami Sato -- marking the league's first complete game and first shutout.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I both can and cannot believe Sato is starting the 7th.
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Oh No He Didn't @ohnohedidnt24.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Kevin Durant on the drama surrounding the WNBA: "All that stuff is to be noise man. WNBA is flourishing. Look what these women are doing. Look at the money they made over the last few years. Look at the visibility of their league. They got 4, 5 signature athletes on major brands
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I am going to frow up
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The WPBL cannot play on this ridiculous turtleback field next year.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
WPBL title game is hitting the point where -- even though I am watching from home and not involved in any way, shape, or form -- I'm starting to get nervous on behalf of the players.
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✧ crimebird ✧ birdtat ✧ @crimebird.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
pocketing this one
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Idk what the deal is with Joey Votto's suit, but I'm into it.
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
CAN I HAVE THEM - SHIRT AT dashare.zone/search?q=pic... - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKELETEN REACHEN FOR YOU'RE PICKLES "IF YOUR NOT GOING TO EAT YOUR PICKLES , CAN I HAVE THM????????" - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Bradley Woodrum @bradleywoodrum.com · 19/09/2026
I'm very honored to have been @ewpod.bsky.social today with the great @kirio.bsky.social, talking #WPBL baseball! Give it a listen. (Full episode is on Patreon.) podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e...
podcasts.apple.com
Effectively Wild Episode 2533: You Win Some, You Lose 40 in a Row
Podcast Episode · Effectively Wild: A FanGraphs Baseball Podcast · September 19 · 44m
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
idk what's going on, we gotta unplug the Firebells for a minute.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
More like ShimaNO DO NOT PITCH TO HER WITH THE BASES LOADED
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Pretty sure a mid-inning pep talk from Ashton Lansdell would fix me
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Jamie Mackay... I was not familiar with your (pitching) game.
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🪩 Kiri 🪩 @kirio.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Bold of the WPBL to go with "brutalist flower vase" as the championship trophy.
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