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Kayla Chow Show

@kaylachowshow.bsky.social
2K followers 1.4K following 123 posts

💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT 💙

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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
My coworkers have been discussing the variations of our dress code for the last 45 minutes and THAT my friends is why it’s very important to be back in the office. It’s much more productive than working from home.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
Starting a small business is like eating ass. People slowly admit they’re into it and then one day everyone’s eating ass. Well hopefully 🤞
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Nadine Antoinette 🖤📚 @lilblackheart.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
me: i will fuck you up. also me: *blows a thousand kisses to my cat every hour.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
I’ve never used a coaster on purpose.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Yelling “I guess I’ll go fuck myself” when no one blesses my sneeze.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
My toddler talks a lot of shit for someone who poops their pants in the middle of the living room every day.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
I was late clocking into work from home because I was playing laser tag with my cats.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 05/03/2025
It’s so windy today, a toupee just flew up my butt.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
My favorite part of my husband doing home improvement projects is that he buys stuff from 3 different home improvement stores, mixes it all together, loses the receipts and then has to return half the stuff.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
I hope this email finds you palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on your sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Calling this month Feblueberry from now on.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
What do you call a cup with bronchitis? A coughy cup.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
Packing 47 pairs of underwear for a 3 day vacation.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
My passion project Pinky Promise House in Anoka, MN 🎀
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
If someone calls you fat, eat them.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
Just once I’d like to blow my nose and see something cool like, A BRAND NEW CARRRR!
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
Work is boring today. I hope someone shits their pants.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
My husband just slapped my ass and I farted. Just in case you’re looking for a glimpse into our marriage.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
My 3 year old said “good job, I’m proud of you” 🥹
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
What if the coffee grinder is silent and the beans are screaming?
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
Back in my day we went sledding downhill both ways.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 20/12/2024
“I’m hot and cold and sweaty.” Shit my toddler says that gives me zero direction.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
I’m at an age where I notice a really nice tupperware.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
I match energies, so if you fart, I fart.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Normalize not giving your heart to someone on Christmas. You need that heart bro.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
If someone tells you to drive safe then that means they love you and you better drive safe you piece of shit.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Microdosing sleep by blinking.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Playing bingo is like edging.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Laxatives are like edibles. You should wait a bit before taking more.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
My brain be like, maybe I should just get super worried about it.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
You can have dirty dishes in the sink but they all have to be in the SAME side of the sink.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 11/12/2024
Facebook is down? THAT WHORE.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Casually walking back to my cubicle after taking a 47 minute diarrhea.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
The secret to a successful relationship is butter.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
You’ve heard of Elf on Shelf but have you heard of using your blinker you inconsiderate piece of shit?
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
There are 2 kinds of people: •People who eat McDonald’s •People who loudly declare they can’t remember the last time they ate McDonald’s
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Things don’t turn into a ballroom blitz like they used to.
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
*gently places finger on caroler's lips* you had me at "O come"
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
ME: [first day working at the Christmas tree farm] I shall treat them with love and attention as if they were my pets. BOSS: That's awesome ME: My fir babies HIM: Get out
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Who’s down with N A P? Yeah you know me.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Playing never have I ever with my toddler and this kid hasn’t done shit.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Sex is cool but have you ever cut an entire piece of wrapping paper without hitting a snag?
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
Get in loser, we’re having a mental breakdown.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
Some of you have never kicked an ice cube under the refrigerator and I can tell.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
Get in loser, we’re having a mental breakdown.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
I’d rather be weird than boring.
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Kayla Chow Show @kaylachowshow.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Husband: Headed to the gym, you guys need anything? Toddler: I’ll take anything.
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Deck the halls. Get em good. Make them pay for what they did.
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Tamper Proof Lid @readuction.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Yeah I’m a bit of a Stink, Stank, Stunk kinda guy
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