iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Julian died at the end of 2023. When 31 Dec came, everyone was celebrating the new year. But, I did not want that year to end because it was the last year he lived in. Now each new year is one year further from his life and I hate it. #bereft #widowhood #grief #newyear

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Maybe, just maybe, the old you doesn’t need changing. Maybe, instead, it is society that needs changing… to one that accepts who you are with less judgement and more support. #translivesmatter #protectthedolls #nonbinarylivesmatter #queerlivesmatter

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

I wish everyone a Gentle New Year, as I know that for many it won’t be happy (or will struggle to be). Therefore, I hope the new year is as gentle as it can be for all of you, and that it brings you some level of happiness and comfort even amongst the grief. #grief #bereft #widowhood #newyear

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Be gentle with yourself today. Moving into a new year for new widows means moving from 'My partner died this year' to 'My partner died last year'. For those who have been widowed longer, it can feel like their person is moving further into the past. Another unexpected loss. #widow #grief

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The Shovel @theshovel.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

“Your behaviour shows the highest of contempt for all that our society holds sacred; it is morally reprehensible,” the judge told the two dozen podcasters inside Erin’s courtroom. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/08/26/e...

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

Even after 2 years... from the Pretty Painful Grief Book on Instagram.

Image with text that says, "It still hasn't sunk in. The reality of it all. The fact that, when someone dies, they never come back. You'll never hear their laugh again. You'll never see them smile again. You can't hug them just one more time or tell them you love them. They're just gone. Forever."

Image with text that says, "Some days, I miss them. Some days, I miss who I was before I lost them. That's the grief no one talks about; the double loss. The person you loved and the version of you that existed before they left. And they both hurt."

Image with text that says, "The hardest part isn't the funeral. It's not the anniversaries, or the birthdays, or even the holidays that come and go without them. Those days hurt - but at least you expect them to. The hardest part is the nothing moments. The ones that sneak up on you when you least expect it. Driving past their favourite coffee shop, seeing their handwriting tucked inside and old drawer, hearing a song you didn't realise would break you until it did, reaching for your phone before you remember. Grief isn't just one loss. It's a thousand tiny losses, every single day, and somehow, you have to find a way to survive. them all."

Image with text that says, "Grief is full of contradictions. We know they're gone, yet some part of us still waits. We know we won't hear their voice again, yet we listen for it in the quiet. We know they won't walk through the door, yet we glance up ever time it opens. It's a strange kind of heartbreak - one that doesn't just hurt but disorients. One that makes the impossible feel possible for just a second. Because, how can someone so love, so deeply woven into our lives, just disappear? How can the world go on like nothing has changed when, for us, everything has?"

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

There is a fear you will lose them & all the ways they made you smile, made you feel good, impacted your life. This is especially true for me when it feel sometimes like I'm the only one who talks about him, remembers him. From @delicate.dusty_diary on Instagram. #grief #bereft #widowhood

Image with text that says, "Grief is strange. When I lost them, I thought the fear of losing them was over. But it wasn't. Now I'm scared in different ways. Scared I'll forget their face, their little favourites, the way they laughed at their own jokes, the advice they slipped into conversations without me even asking, the kind of love only they knew how to give. I'm scared their voice will fade, the way they said my name will disappear, scared they'll turn burry in my memory until I can't reach them anymore. Because grief doesn't just take once. It keeps taking. Piece by piece."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

Not just 10 months on, but years later. It's been over 2 years now for me, and I still have trouble believing he's not here. I still wake up from time to time, expecting him to be around. Or, go to send him a meme I think he'll like and then realise he's dead. #grief #bereft #widowhood

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Justin Wolfers @justinwolfers.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

Just want to share with my American friends how the Australians respond to a shooting tragedy. Action, rather than thoughts and prayers.

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

Heard this quote just now, and it struck me hard, but also brought me some comfort. *photo is of our last Christmas together (2022) #bereft #grief #widowhood

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 07/12/2025

Short trip down the peninsula to Mornington. Photos from Schnapper Point, Pt 1

Photo of the water of Port Philip Bay and the blue sky above. Three small sail boats are on the water.

Image of the water of Port Philip Bay with a blue sky above and scrub vegetation in the foreground.

Photo of a rocky shore, waves of Port Philip Bay crashing against it, and the blue sky above.

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

"I wish people would stop", Pt 2 From the Pretty Painful Griefbook on Instagram #grief #bereft #widowhood #Iwishpeoplewouldstop

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: comparing my grief to someone else's timeline."

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: telling me 'everything happens for a reason'."

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: offering advice when what I need is presence."

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: pretending grief is neat, tidy, and something you 'get over'."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

"I wish people would stop", Pt 1 From the Pretty Painful Griefbook on Instagram #grief #bereft #widowhood #Iwishpeoplewouldstop

Image with text that says "I wish people would stop: avoiding their name like saying it will break me."

Image with text that says "I wish people would stop: expecting me to be the person I was before."

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: getting uncomfortable the second I tell the truth about how I'm really doing."

Image with text that says, "I wish people would stop: acting like missing them is something I should grow out of."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

All the time... sometimes I'm not sure where my brain is at. Of course, it is still better than the time I couldn't find the sandwich press. And, then found it in the fridge. It's a symptom of many things. But, it is also called "widow brain" in the widowhood community. #widowbrain #grief

Meme of man looking at woman whilst holding his girlfriend's hand and his girlfriend looking disgusted. Text over the woman says "The fridge". Text over the man says "Me looking in the fridge for something". The text over the girlfriend says "The thing I'm looking for sitting on the benchtop"

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

Stop avoiding your family member’s/friend’s grief. They need to experience it & they need you to support them. And, sometimes, all that means is being there for them & allowing them to grieve. #grief #bereft #widowhood

Image with the text, “The most vulnerable thing I can do is show you my pain. The most loving thing you can do is to not look away.”

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

Sometimes, things happen in life that have no meaning. Trying to tell yourself that "everything happens for a reason" or something else toxically positive is not helpful. Let yourself grieve. #grief #bereft #widowhood #noreason #griefislove

Image with text that says, "Grief is a form of love - one that needs patience, not positivity. Toxic positivity wants to rush you into meaning-making. It tries to wrap your pain in silver linings before you've even had time to breathe, but grief doesn't need to be inspirational to be legitimate. It needs room. It needs slowness. It needs truth. The kindest thing you can do is let yourself feel what you feel without trying to turn it into something 'useful' too soon."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

I will never get over his death. I will always talk about him, remember him, keep him close, even if it makes others uncomfortable. (Image from the Pretty Painful Grief Book on Instagram) #bereft #grief #widowhood #prettypainfulgriefbook

Image with text that says, "A belief about grief you'd love to erase -- If I have learned anything about grief, it's that my worth isn't measured by how 'over it' I seem. Healing isn't a performance, and grief isn't something you win by hiding it well enough to make everyone else comfortable. Just because I can smile, show up, and keep going doesn't mean the ache is gone. It just means I've learned how to carry it alongside everything else. I don't know how we go there, but the world loves to put timelines on grief - as if the sooner you're 'fine', the better. But being human doesn't work like that. Love leaves marks that don't fade, and loss reshapes us in ways that aren't meant to be invisible. My tears, my missing, my soft spots - they don't make me weak. They make me real. They're proof of a love that never ended."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

You can't get over grief. You carry it with you because you carry the love you have/had for them with you, too. (Image from rom the Pretty Painful Grief Book on Instagram) #bereft #widowhood #grief #griefislove #loveisgrief

Image of a text that says "People talk about 'getting over it' like grief is some mountain you climb and leave behind. But the trust is: you don't get over love. And in that lies the reason you can't get over grief either. Because if you could forget that easily, if you could move on like nothing ever happened, maybe it was never really love at all. No, real love doesn't vanish when someone's gone. It lingers in the way you speak their name, in the memories that leak up on you, in the ache that lives quietly inside your chest. That ache isn't weakness. It isn't failure. It's proof. Proof that what you shared was real. Proof that they mattered. Proof that love doesn't end, even when life does."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

My birthday, today, and I’m celebrating it alone because Julian, my love, is dead. And all the friends I had before his death have seemed to have forgotten or are avoiding me. Apparently, I’m too “negative” because I won’t “move on” and “let him go”. #widowhood #bereft #death #loneliness

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death & taxes.” ~ Benjamin Franklin This quote is only half right. There are plenty of examples in many modern day countries, including Ben’s America & my home of Australia, of individuals that avoid paying taxes. 1/4

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Elias Eells- Bar Cart Bookshelf @eliaseells.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.

GIN & TONIC IS THE LEAST HARMFUL ALCOHOLIC DRINK, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS.-.

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Ali Gundam @aligundam.bsky.social · 17/11/2025

The Salvation Army are a hate group. Do not forget that this winter.

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

I know it can be uncomfortable letting a grieving person talk about their loved one. It reminds you that the death of your loved ones is possible. But, PLEASE don't prevent us from speaking of them. It is the only way we can be with them now. #grief #bereft #widowhood #memories

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MFCarter @mfcarter.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

Do not terrorize people!

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Amy Beth Cupp @amybethcupp.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

I’m fancy like that. 😆

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 20/10/2025

From a support group for widowed people (i.e., wids), here are some that they all agree you shouldn't say. You may think you're being supportive and/or understanding, but you're not when you say these things to us. Pt. 2 #widowhood #grief #bereft #dontsaythat

Image that says "Don't say these things to someone whose person* has died, Pt 2" and the asterisk explains that the person refers to "their spouse or partner".

Image: The next thing not to say "I know how you feel. My pet died" with the explanation, "As with #1, this is not the same. Whilst it is understood that pets are often seen as part of our families, losing a pet to death is not the same as losing your person, the love of your life, the one you thought you'd be together with for decades."

Image: The next thing not to say, "Everything happens for a reason/It was God's will." with the explanation "This is not as comforting as you think. They just lost their person. Their world has collapsed. The life they thought they were going to have is gone. And, you offering this platitude does not make them feel better."

Image: the next thing not to say "Why are you dating already?" with the explanation "The opposite of #3. It is their life and their grief journey. Even if you are a widowed person yourself, remember they aren ot you. Don't put personal judgement on how they handle that journey. They know what is right and best for them."

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 20/10/2025

Image that says "Don't say these things to someone whose person* has died, Pt 1" and the asterisk explains that the person refers to "their spouse or partner".

Image: The first thing not to say is "I know how you feel. I recently broke up with my person" with the explanation "This is not the same. The end of your relationship was a choice. And, your person is still alive. ou could get back together with them. Widowed people didn't have a choice and don't have this option."

Image: the next thing not to say is "It's been [amount of time]. Isn't it time to get over it and move on?" with the explanation "Would you say this to someone who is grieving their dead child? Their dead parent? Sibling? No? Then why are you saying it to a widowed person?"

Image: the next thing not to say is "When are you going to start dating again?" with the explanation "Yes, some widowed people start dating again at some point. But, this question can be seen to be negating the person's grief or the memory of their person. And, again, would you ask someone who has lost a child when they are having another?"

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 16/10/2025

The lack of him in my life will never diminish. I will just find ways to move forward and grow around his absence. #widowhood #grief #bereft #loss

Post that states "His absence is ever present; a hole in my life that will never be filled".

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Jonathan Teo @jonathantoteo.bsky.social · 13/10/2025

It's been 2 years since Julian's death. Two years of missing him every day. Two years of trying to move forward, to find a new path without him. His absence is ever present. I love him as much today as I did then. I will always love him. He will never be forgotten. ❤️❤️❤️ #grief #widowhood #bereft

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