Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 12/08/2026“Someone playing from home uses more electricity, water, internet, and air conditioning than someone who leaves for an LGS. Maybe if tenants purchased snacks or drinks it would offset these costs, but they don’t. I’ve got a mortgage to pay! With their money!”commandersherald.comNew Rental Trend? Bay Area Landlord Charges Table Fee For Webcam Play | Commander's HeraldWalnut Creek, CA — A Bay Area rental dispute is turning heads, as one landlord plans to charge tenants for SpellTable and webcam gameplay. 0208
Joe DeNoon @joethedumber.bsky.social · 21/07/2026Me marching my ass to Titanbreach prerelease:static.klipy.comGipsy Danger Jaeger in the RainAlt: Gipsy Danger Jaeger going to an LGS 030
Reposted by Joe DeNoonBill Hanstock @sundownmotel.bsky.social · 15/07/2026and the cup, which did NOT come home, 2777169
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 15/07/2026We on the Herald staff took our time examining why certain cards have been banned and whether they should continue to be. With the changes we’ve made, we hope to encourage self-expression, memorable gameplay, and the rapid liquidation of our store’s inventory.commandersherald.comAnnouncing Herald Commander! A New Format With a Ban List Determined By Thorough Review of Our Online Store | Commander's HeraldCheck out our new Commander format, with all unbans carefully selected to be fair, balanced, and also on our list of cards to sell. 1218
Reposted by Joe DeNoonJon Phillips @jowiph.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I would kill or die for Larry 36174953962
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 30/06/2026“How can you organize more than 4,000 decks, but organizing the garage is an insurmountable challenge?” First of all, I have undiagnosed arachnophobia, and I’m unmedicated. I didn’t sign up to be interrogated.commandersherald.comMy Wife Found My Moxfield And Wants to Talk | Commander's HeraldMy wife found my Moxfield, and now I'm in trouble. Sorry, I like to organize my 4,000 Commander decks. I didn't know hobbies were illegal. 0318
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 26/06/2026Reporters could neither confirm or deny the allegations from inside the pool due to the Gleaming Barrier that was quickly assembled around it. Now experts are claiming that the liner was sabotaged. Incredible how quickly they found the damage after no one else was allowed to look at it.commandersherald.comReflecting Pool Maintains 100% Winrate Versus Narcissists | Commander's HeraldWASHINGTON DC – Echoing back to the Greek myth from which it took its name, has maintained a 100% win rate against narcissists. In its most recent test, the narcissist in question maintained that his ... 0218
Reposted by Joe DeNoonMayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 14/06/2026Parade. Thursday. Manhattan. 446372175242
Reposted by Joe DeNoonessencesimmone.blacksky.app @essencesimmone.blacksky.app · 14/06/2026NEW YORK CITY, YOU LISTEN TO ME. IF YOU'RE NEAR A CONVENIENCE STORE RIGHT NOW, ANY TYPE OF 24-HOUR STORE, GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!!!!! 71020287
Reposted by Joe DeNoonRyan Eichten @reichten.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Knicks comeback from down 29 points in the second half and 20 points in the fourth quarter to take Game 4 and a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals Here are the highlights of the key plays coming down the stretch ⤵️ 35411
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommand Zoe🔜PAX Unplugged @commandzoe.bsky.social · 03/06/2026We stand with the union. commandersherald.com/eager-to-pro... @envy.bsky.social @commanders-herald.bsky.social @joethedumber.bsky.socialcommandersherald.comEager to Prove Workplace Is 'Just Like a Family', WOTC Begins Deadnaming Trans Employees | Commander's HeraldThe following is a recounting of recent work done by The Herald’s elite Agents Locating Prominent Harmful Associations/Bigotry, Establishing Tolerance, & Making All Free Information Available (aka ALP... 8538190
Reposted by Joe DeNoonDr. Lucky Tran @luckytran.com · 01/06/2026BREAKING: Mayor Mamdani just signed an “executive order” to repeal bedtime so NYC kids can watch the Knicks play in the NBA Finals! 528170942433
Reposted by Joe DeNoonEmma Baccellieri @emmabaccellieri.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Blanked when I got to the deli counter and came up with “It’s a beautiful day for a sandwich” to have something to say 662285204
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 28/05/2026We don’t get to decide the outcome. All we get to do is decide how to react. The moment we accept that, dear reader, the game becomes a lot more fun.commandersherald.comWe Can't Control The Table, But We Can Control The Board | Commander's HeraldYes we know Sen Triplets is a thing. Shut up. There’s a moment in some Commander games where you look around the table and realize the world is absolutely on fire. One player has a combo engine hummin... 13210
Reposted by Joe DeNoonSIMONE 🩷 @simonee.bsky.social · 26/05/2026KNICKS IN FOUR GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD LETS FUCKING GO 457992
Reposted by Joe DeNoonMayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 26/05/2026@nycsanitation.bsky.social I’d like to report a sweep 134119691748
Reposted by Joe DeNoonDave Jorgenson @davejorgenson.bsky.social · 23/05/2026Colbert guest hosted a public access TV show in Monroe, Michigan a day after the Late Show ended. Guest star: Jeff Daniels Special appearance by: Eminem Musical director: Jack White Genius. youtu.be/jJTXB5uT_C4?...youtu.beOnly In Monroe --- May 22, 2026YouTube video by Stephen Colbert 734285327667
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 22/05/2026“All the breakup clichés came through. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.‘ ‘I just need space to find myself again,’ and ‘I hate your moles. They’re so weird. Why do they smell like licorice? Moles shouldn’t smell like licorice, Richard! Go to a doctor!!’ Cliché stuff like that.”commandersherald.comGuy Tracking Life Totals Clearly Getting Broken Up With Via Text | Commander's HeraldNeglecting their game, three Commander players were captivated by the collapse of a 5-year relationship scrolling by on the guy's phone. 05120
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommand Zoe🔜PAX Unplugged @commandzoe.bsky.social · 14/05/2026Really happy to welcome in the newest addition to the @commanders-herald.bsky.social writer's room. Go check out @envy.bsky.social's first article. Its such a good read! commandersherald.com/wotc-proudly...commandersherald.comWOTC Proudly Displays Mark Rosewater's 'Mood Swings' on Office Fridge | Commander's HeraldRENTON, WA – “Oh, that’s what you’re here about,” says Wizards President John Hight, as The Herald sits down with him to ask about the upcoming release of Mark Rosewater’s opus Mood Swings. “Yeah… we’... 56414
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 11/05/2026Like, sure. I get it. When you were young, your parents let you watch Alien and Hellraiser for some reason, and it permanently warped your perception of what an attractive person looks like. And yeah, you have body dysmorphia. We all do. That’s why we play Magic.commandersherald.com[Opinion] Stop Pointing at Elesh Norn and Going "Body Goals," It's Weirding Everyone Out | Commander's HeraldChicago, IL — Seriously, cut it out. I need you to understand that when I say “You’re scaring the hoes,” I mean us. We’re the hoes that you’re scaring. Like, sure. I get it. When you were young, your ... 25524
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 07/05/2026“It’s getting harder and harder these days to find Felix on things. He used to be the talk of the town, but now everything is Disney or whatever that Pockymocky thing the kids are about these days. It’s good that today’s youngins remember their elders.”commandersherald.comFelix the Cat Secret Lair Appeals to Magic's Key Silent Generation Demographic | Commander's HeraldTHE VILLAGES, FL — Over the weekend, Wizards of the Coast unveiled their latest Secret Lair release, focused around cats from Pop Culture and beyond. And none are more excited for the release than the... 0144
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 04/05/2026He’s thus far given us incredible takes like “what if the five Strixhaven colleges were the other five color pairs, had stupid concepts, and belonged to a different, less well-named university?” and “what if Chandra Nalaar was a fucking cop?”commandersherald.comOPINION: Reality Fracture Proves Straight Men Can't Write Fanfiction | Commander's HeraldIn Friday’s announcement regarding the upcoming Reality Fracture standard set, Wizards of the Coast has presumably unintentionally proven the well-known adage that straight men can’t write fanfiction.... 27618
Reposted by Joe DeNoonKiaayo @kiaayomahkwa.itch.io · 29/04/2026Who would have thought that writing comedy articles about a card game could be so hazardous? commandersherald.com/experts-weig...commandersherald.comExperts Weigh In: Card Leaks Way Too High Quality to Be Real | Commander's HeraldRichmond, VA — A series of images of upcoming Magic sets have leaked, and we’ve asked some leading experts in the field of digital forensics to examine and weigh in. Among their various reactions to u... 041
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 20/04/2026"I was just, like, totally gone. I reached over to grab some buds to grind, but I wasn’t really paying attention, and I… kinda grabbed the wrong bud.” Putting his head in his hands, Waters lamented, “Maaaaan, what a bummer, I really liked that card.”commandersherald.comCommander Player Prepping For All-Green 4/20 Commander Pod Accidentally Grinds Their Bristlebud Farmer | Commander's HeraldDENVER, Co. — Tragedy struck in the home of local Commander player Bogart “Bong” Waters today as his attempt to prepare for a yearly tradition with his friends went terribly awry. During preparations ... 02610
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 17/04/2026Konami apparently had plans to release a life-sized plastic replica of the heart for $300 USD, to be packaged with a random assortment of card packs valued to be around $9.50 usd. Whether it conveyed magical powers was left vague in the fax.commandersherald.comLeaked Konami Documents Reveal "The Heart of the Cards" To Be An Actual Human Heart | Commander's HeraldTokyo, Japan — Internal Konami documents recently leaked to us from an anonymous whistleblower reveal shocking news about the media company’s inner workings and future plans. They range from video gam... 12112
Reposted by Joe DeNoonWes Burdine @wesburdine.bsky.social · 09/04/2026BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms 222103432250
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Following the absolutely stellar debut of GiGi Wellplayed on the Spell Slayers last month, the staff at The Herald has worked tirelessly, day and night and afternoon, to try and come up with a drag name as good as that.commandersherald.comFeds Are Outlawing Drag, So Let's Counterprogram with MTG Drag Content | Commander's Herald %The staff at The Herald tried to come up with Magic-related drag names as good as GiGi Wellplayed. We could not, but A- for effort 1348
Reposted by Joe DeNoonSpice8Rack @spice8rack.bsky.social · 03/04/2026I always knew that commodity production existed to spite me personally. 734538
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommand Zoe🔜PAX Unplugged @commandzoe.bsky.social · 01/04/2026Well now this is fucking awkward... commandersherald.com/commanders-h...commandersherald.comCommander's Herald Designs A New Deadpool Secret Lair | Commander's HeraldTo celebrate April Fool’s Day this year, we at Commander’s Herald decided to walk you through an article that we would write, going step-by-step through the satirical process. We came up with an idea ... 3278
Joe DeNoon @joethedumber.bsky.social · 25/03/2026Whoever pitched Oops! All Olivias deserves an award. Would have also won for family resemblance, but Jane’s in a different color… youtu.be/CRwbUfDIGL0?...youtu.beOOPS! All Olivias: Hard Fronts with Olivia Gobert-HicksYouTube video by Spell Slayers 010
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 24/03/2026" AHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH."commandersherald.comOH FUCKING GODDAMNIT I DROPPED MY FUCKING DICE ALL OVER THE FUCKING GROUND | Commander's HeraldMagic the gathering, like many “nerdy” hobbies can attract individuals who are more reserved in social situations, so it is incredible that so many MTG fans find themselves walking into game stores an... 12811
Joe DeNoon @joethedumber.bsky.social · 23/03/2026I still have nightmares about middle school algebra; when are those gonna stop 010
Joe DeNoon @joethedumber.bsky.social · 21/03/2026I genuinely 100% thought Discord was winning that episode. 000
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 20/03/2026“Unfortunately, in each of those cases, I did not have any open mana,” said Schumer, laying his elbow on the table to cover up his two untapped Islands, which had been gathering dust.commandersherald.comCounterspell Remains in Chuck Schumer's Hand Uncast for 10th Consecutive Turn | Commander's HeraldSenate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is, according to an anonymous Senator with a pair of , currently holding a copy of in his hand, and yet is refusing to play it. “He’s had it in his hand for the p... 3329115
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 19/03/2026"He chose not to attack a Miriam Vehicles deck once because he ‘once saw a homeless guy pee on that Subway Train’. A Ziatora player got attacked into because ‘Unions are robbing our economy blind’."commandersherald.com"Centrist" Pramikon Player Only Attacks Left | Commander's HeraldHENDERSON, NV — The Wednesday Night Commanders games at Flash Bazbo Comics usually run without controversy. “Everyone here is pretty chill, rule zero discussions tend to go smoothly, no issues,” the s... 08236
Reposted by Joe DeNoonKiaayo @kiaayomahkwa.itch.io · 18/03/2026This publication and I by extension to not recommend the cool, cool crime of game piece bootlegging commandersherald.com/carmen-klomp...commandersherald.comCarmen Klomparens This Close To Recommending a Photo Printer | Commander's Herald(Disclaimer: Carmen Klomparens did not actually say any of these things. It’s obviously a joke. C’mon.) Renton, Washington — After Hasbro’s announcement of a multi-year deal with Warner Bros. Discover... 094
Reposted by Joe DeNoonCommander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 17/03/2026St. Patrick’s Day festivities at Murphy’s Game Corner took an unexpected turn for players this year, as they were treated to the sudden arrival of the patron Saint of Ireland.commandersherald.comVengeful St. Patrick Banishes Snake Decks from Boston LGS | Commander's HeraldSt. Patrick's Day festivities took an unexpected turn, as players were treated to the accidental reanimation of the patron Saint of Ireland. Fun quickly turned to terror, as the cleric lived up to leg... 095
Joe DeNoon @joethedumber.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Happy St. Patrick's Day! Enjoy this stupid article. Sláinte ☘️🇮🇪🍻 commandersherald.com/vengeful-st-...commandersherald.comVengeful St. Patrick Banishes Snake Decks from Boston LGS | Commander's HeraldSt. Patrick's Day festivities took an unexpected turn, as players were treated to the accidental reanimation of the patron Saint of Ireland. Fun quickly turned to terror, as the cleric lived up to leg... 022