Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel theonion.com/kash-patel-phished-by-… 161378157
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 17/09/2026FOLKS! InfoWars' HogWater is now REAL. It was created by the master swine sommeliers at Marz Brewing Company in Chicago. It makes your bones feel big and hot! Also, if you sign up for a membership at Riotfest this weekend (or are already a member), you get HogWater for free at The Onion tent! 60103087
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression theonion.com/trump-says-recession-u… 252098309
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I saw it on Wednesday. Absolutely everything I wanted. 152
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 06/09/2026Journalism's most heroic moment is back in print. Become an Onion member, and get a reissue of our historic 9/11 edition. membership.theonion.com/totepromo/?… 735024
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Wall Street Journal @wsj.com · 04/09/2026Behind closed doors, John Fetterman dodges constituents, alienates fellow Democrats and shows little interest in the work of a senator.on.wsj.comBehind Closed Doors, John Fetterman Shows Little Interest in the Work of a SenatorThe first-term senator, poised to be a possible swing vote, churns through staff as he alienates fellow Democrats and defends Israel. 171973265
Reposted by Jason RoederMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 03/09/2026"All of our style-forward staterooms offer soft, comfy linens, plenty of closet and drawer space, and personalized vomit basins filled with our proprietary deodorizing coagulant." buff.ly/6an8T6Jmcsweeneys.netAll Aboard Your Disease-Free Late-Summer Cruise“Get ready to create unforgettable memories in a thoroughly disinfected environment deemed inhospitable to the majority of the world’s most deadly microorgan... 0172
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 31/08/2026You should really book now before summer's all gone... 1104
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 25/08/2026I'm not talented enough to LISTEN to Jolene and I Will Always Love You in the same day. 050
Reposted by Jason Roedermtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 20/08/2026i think one of the hidden keys to politics right now is "how can our side make sure that the 'trump is gonna kill a bunch of beautiful wild horses' story gets in front of the millions of otherwise apolitical consumers of social media horse-related content" 411760540
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Hakeem Jeffries is not up for the job. They have got to get rid of him in January. 465138911678
Reposted by Jason RoederLeila Brillson @leilza.bsky.social · 22/07/2026I don't know if people realize that @strle.bsky.social actually produced BANDAGES that you can BUY to keep away DEMONS store.theonion.com/products/dem...store.theonion.comDemon GuardAre demons preventing you from liberty and happiness? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, the wicked often prey on the righteous. Demon Guard is an easy-to-wear patch that secretes holy water and minerals ... 072
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 20/07/2026The fate of the universe rests in the hands of whoever's available. 040
Reposted by Jason RoederMayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 14/07/2026This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE. 10706503120329
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Just spoke to Mitch McConnell. He assured me he was dead. 051
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 29/06/2026White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair theonion.com/white-house-mocks-palt… 321776180
Reposted by Jason Roederderek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Meet Crumb, Button, and Clover. A friend in the Bay Area found them behind a gas station. Unfortunately, she isn't able to keep them, so if she can't find someone to adopt them, they will be going to a shelter. Can you help me find them a home? They are in good health and very tame. 7153341769
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Get a paper so we can keep doing stuff like this: Membership.theonion.com 688978
Reposted by Jason RoederHeadquarters @headquartersnews.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Trump appears to be completely passed out asleep during his 3pm Oval Office announcement 47526271005
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 02/06/2026I don't know what happened, but I saw another ad with the phrase "at the speed of AI" and woke up in a jail cell where the scariest dudes you've ever seen addressed me as "Sir." 031
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 01/06/2026‘Fuck It, A Gig’s A Gig,’ Says Bruce Springsteen, Agreeing To Headline Freedom 250 Concert theonion.com/fuck-it-a-gigs-a-gig-s… 401523110
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 18/05/2026You can read this humor piece I wrote with @mikebsacks.bsky.social in the latest edition of The New Yorker, in print or online. Whichever you'd like. I don't control you. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...newyorker.comRealistic High-School-Yearbook Inscriptions“You will read this once this afternoon and not again until you’re in your fifties, but, by that time, I will have already died, alone in my apartment, totally nude, except for my ankle monitor.” 053
Reposted by Jason RoederCabel Sasser @cabel.panic.com · 11/05/2026this graduation speech moment is notable, and her amazed shock at having failed to read the room feels instructive. when you're inside the bubble, you think everybody else is. but everybody isn't. 992272946879
Reposted by Jason RoederJon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 24/04/2026This photo should be on the front page of every single newspaper in America today. 38514154416666
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 23/04/2026After haranguing our merch guy, looks like the trucker hats are back in stock. We'll see how long this lasts.store.theonion.comOnion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Trucker HatYou don't have to be a trucker to wear this hat, but would it kill you to haul 50 tons of timber from Oregon to Chicago?-Foam Front Mesh Back Trucker Cap -Snap adjustable back closure 481233147
Reposted by Jason RoederAaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 23/04/2026Trump is about to hit REM on camera during an Oval Office event. It's just incredible. 1277101723028
Reposted by Jason RoederMara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 20/04/2026Good news! We found the cats a home! But they still need a foster home for the next month! Please help us spread the word so we can find a good foster home for them! 7640204
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 21/04/2026‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had theonion.com/michael-crit... 12107168
Reposted by Jason RoederErin Fitzgerald @erinfitzbadass.com · 15/04/2026We still haven’t found a home for these two adorable four-year-old kitty cats in Los Angeles If anybody is open to receiving all of this love, please contact Nico ASAP. Their owner has passed away and they need a new forever home. 0146102
Reposted by Jason RoederMara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 16/04/2026LA! These kitties’ human passed away, and they need a new home! Please help them find one! Spread the word! 91175725
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Folks, good news: The Onion is a hundred or so subs away from reaching the long-awaited number of 69,420 paid print subscribers. If you’re that one magic subscriber, we’ll send you a mystery gift box as a thanks. Sign up or regret it forever. We’re on sale for a week. Make sexweed number history.membership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 832402388
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 24/03/2026For god's sake, sign up for The Onion during our Recession Sale! $75 for a year's worth of papers delivered to your door! It's a crazy steal at this price. membership.theonion.commembership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 1127232
Reposted by Jason RoederIndivisible ❌👑 @indivisible.org · 24/03/2026“If there is not a No Kings protest within 30 minutes or so of where you live, you should probably be organizing your own — both to make the point on March 28, but also to start organizing your own community for what comes next.” - Ezra Join us on Saturday: www.nokings.org?SQF_SOURCE=i... #NoKings 221037373
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 01/03/2026What's his plan for Iran? What was Sandy's plan for New Jersey? 0103
Reposted by Jason RoederJason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 25/01/2026Wish I knew more MAGA people to cut all ties with. 1335
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 28/02/2026I can't fucking believe we're doing this again. 108136583298
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/02/2026We are a few thousand subscribers away from being a bigger print newspaper than the Washington Post. We are a mere flurry away from humiliating one of the two Big Space Perverts. Ask not how a Space Pervert can dominate you. Ask how you can dominate a Space Pervert. Subscribe below.membership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 10869661746
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 23/02/2026Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House 394973736
Reposted by Jason RoederBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 23/02/2026*putting on CEO hat* uhhh prove us even more right! Subscribe to The Onion, get a real-life newspaper in your real-life mail. Feel good about yourself. Give yourself big compliments about being morally right. membership.theonion.commembership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 2284360
Reposted by Jason RoederKarl Bode @karlbode.com · 11/02/2026Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground 13474019513644
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 08/02/2026About 3.5 hours away from the sonic boom of 10 million people cancelling their Peacock subscriptions at once. 051
Reposted by Jason RoederJim Acosta @jimacosta.bsky.social · 08/02/2026BREAKING: The Epstein survivors are releasing this ad on this Super Bowl Sunday to send the message that they will not “move on” from the largest sex trafficking scandal in the world. #standwithsurvivors 9494417916775
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 05/02/2026The chronicle of civilization’s collapse now comes in monthly print editions. Become A Member. Get The Paper. membership.theonion.com/?campaign=7… 443538
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 26/01/2026Net proceeds from every "Sinister Minnesotans" t-shirt, hoodie, or onesie go directly to community groups helping out in Minnesota. Visit The Onion store now. Wow! Do it. OK bye. store.theonion.com/collections/...store.theonion.comThe Sinister Minnesotans CollectionStand With The Sinister Minnesotans Against ICE Show your solidarity with the Sinister Minnesotans refusing to back down from the ICE agents currently polluting their great state with brutality, lawl... 032
Jason Roeder @jasonroeder.bsky.social · 25/01/2026Wish I knew more MAGA people to cut all ties with. 1335
Reposted by Jason RoederAaron Stewart-Ahn @badideas.bsky.social · 25/01/2026A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son. 10054690018038
Reposted by Jason RoederCJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 24/01/2026The whole interview is worth it 6055952006
Reposted by Jason RoederThe Onion @theonion.com · 24/01/2026Stand With The Sinister Minnesotans Against ICE store.theonion.com/products/siniste… 191891492