Sign in

Jake Varn

@jakevarn.bsky.social
232 followers 318 following 247 posts

Working on internet policy at Pew. Elsewhere writing fiction: jakevarn.wordpress.com

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Jake Varn
Steve Mullis @stevemullis.net · 05/10/2026
[car dealership waiting room] Me: [chanting] knobs, knobs- Other car buyers: knobs, KNOBS Car salesman: [pounding desk] KNOBS, KNOBS, KNOBS!
forbes.com
Knobs Returning To Some Automakers’ Vehicles, To The Relief Of Many
Auto companies are listening to the complaints of consumers, who want their knobs and buttons back.
20686991587
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The "dumb birds" bit really got me. Why do these bird scientists gotta do us like that bsky.app/profile/jake...
040
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Man, the wave gets me choked up every time. Absolute kryptonite
020
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The real modern adaptation of East of Eden
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
There had to be easier ways to volunteer to fill Macklemore's spot on Ed Sheeran's tour, no?
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Taylor Sheridan, I'm coming for you.
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Hot take, almost every guest-written forward in reprinted books should be an afterword. The spoilers are out of control.
110
Reposted by Jake Varn
rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
shirley jackson you tell em www.newyorker.com/books/page-t...
ar and away the greatest menace to the writer—any writer, beginning or otherwise
—is the reader. The reader is, after all, a kind of silent partner in this whole business of writing, and a work of fiction is surely incomplete if it is never read. The reader is, in fact, the writer's only unrelenting, genuine enemy. He has everything on his side; all he has to do, after all, is shut his eyes, and any work of fiction becomes meaningless. Moreover, a reader has an advantage over a beginning writer in not being a beginning reader; before he takes up a story to read it, he can be presumed to have read everything from Shakespeare to Jack Kerouac. No matter whether he reads a story in manuscript as a great personal favor, or opens a magazine, or—kindest of all—goes into a bookstore and pays good money for a book, he is still an enemy to be defeated with any kind of dirty fighting that comes to the writer's mind.
13677136
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I love to leave future me a "Fix this."
011
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'll admit it, I was also at this "Hawks" game
000
Reposted by Jake Varn
rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
'this AI agent can do all your tasks for you' so now i gotta sit here and write a list of all my tasks for a robot to fuck up. why. why wouldn't i just keep to the current system where i fuck up my own tasks
191662257
Reposted by Jake Varn
Rabbi Ariel Stone @rabbiariel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“We have built a world with flawless logistics for war and broken logistics for food.”
016858
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
KIRK IS CRYING, IM GONNA RUN THROUGH A WALL
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
WE'RE STARTING THE CAR AND DRIVING TO IOWA CITY, GET IN
110
Reposted by Jake Varn
Micah @rincewind.run · 25/09/2026
I unironically love these lists because it gives everyone something to be incandescently furious about with zero stakes hell yeah let’s take a break from The Horrors and get mad about television rankings
5452440
Reposted by Jake Varn
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Ok that's 3 minutes, keep moving, got a lot of sad teens here.
Just 3 minutes with a mini horse or donkey improves teens' moods, study says
1535798668
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Sad beige toys for sad beige children
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The least realistic part of Lanterns so far is being able to navigate an FCC website that quickly.
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Chicago should build a second Bean. Bigger and beanier.
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Me, wiping down vegetables circa March 2020
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I'd also nominate The Eternaut for this category, trapped inside with their pod, wrapping up in gasmasks and gloves to go outside, etc.
210
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
First a Gulf and now a Lake, I fear we are moving into smaller and smaller bodies of water. Pond of America coming soon.
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I'm less of a "see heaven before the devil knows you're dead" kinda guy and more "eat another serving before my stomach knows its full."
000
Reposted by Jake Varn
DC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Tim Curry is survived by his frequent co-star, a big spooky mansion
63961596
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Checking in on the Freedom 250 takeover of DC's streets for an IndyCar race...
021
Reposted by Jake Varn
lizardbreath 🦎🪦🎃 @spindlypete.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
widows bay notepad "old woman possibly damp faster than old woman should be"
0545
Reposted by Jake Varn
Sean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
So embarrassing when people think the point of reading a novel is to know the plot, so a summary is just as good. The plot isn’t important, you rube. You absolute simpleton. The point of reading a novel is to find out what the characters are eating and start thinking about what you want for dinner.
734050832
Reposted by Jake Varn
aaron 👻🎃💀 @hillenjoyer.myatproto.social · 11/08/2026
you don’t understand. i’m not trapped in here with you. you’re not trapped in here with me. we’re not trapped. i’m on my phone and i can just do something else. in fact i think im gonna. rip to you if ur trapped but im built different
17910
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Just getting back from a week at the @barrelhouse.bsky.social Writer's Camp. Gonna be hard to go back to the email factory tomorrow after spending the last few days star gazing, writing by the creek, and talking shop with so many smart, kind people.
081
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Some would say it's broken but I think it's perfect
000
Reposted by Jake Varn
Seth Rosenthal @sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
oh god oh fuck i clicked on ONE mens fitness youtube video and now the whole app is ruined. fuck fuck fuck every video is lifting tips. every ad is for a training program. there's a whey merchant on my doorstep. lean men are crawling in the walls
2335920
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Scrolled by this while donating. If you can, you too can take a few minutes to sit and scroll on your phone guilt-free
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
You can laugh but referees only do this under severe stress
091
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Tom Cruise jump scare
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Did a data center write this?
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Those renaissance paintings of weird looking animals are starting to make more sense
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
"Cough up a lung and blow out your pants" is our version of Keep calm and carry on
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I'm about to go full Liver King (and start making credible threats against Joe Rogan)
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Been messing around with some B&W film and naturally went to my favorite sandwich shop in DC.
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Honestly surprised they kept woke roundabouts
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
It's cøming hømæ
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
The last image I see when the final whistle is blown
010
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Good band name.
010
Reposted by Jake Varn
Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
one thing that’s dying out in the next generation or so is knowing roads. my parents will ask me shit like “how’d you get there? 178? 232?” buddy i went where the computer told me.
1924152299
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
This Messi guy, pretty good
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Spoilers for Widow's Bay Season 2
000
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Colin Jost and Pete Davidson strike again
000
Reposted by Jake Varn
Brian Floyd @brianmfloyd.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
when fifa corruption breaks your way it’s good, actually
41107
Jake Varn @jakevarn.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
What did you just call me, bruv?
010