iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

something very funny about the Bayeux Tapestry getting 5 stars after 940 years, as if Bishop Odo of Bayeux has been sat at home all this time waiting for the review, absolutely raging - "I gave that Guardian journalist a press comp on OPENING NIGHT for god's sake"

Poster of The Bayeux Tapestry with a bunch of 5 star reviews

1517650

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Interesting, interesting, I would say one reason not to trust him would be the independent panel finding his club guilty of 114 out of 115 charges, but what do I know

"I've heard everyone else go down every single rabbit hole, every single wormhole, every single discussion," Hart said.

"My honest opinion is I've got no reason not to trust Khaldoon. What he said is enough for me.

"I loved how he spoke. I loved the letter because that was from someone who cared about the club."

451

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Well that answers that question

Hart trusts Man City chair Al Mubarak over ruling: Former Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart believes club chairman Al Mubarak's claims they are innocent of breaking financial rules

250

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

LOOK AT THIS MAN, WHY ISN'T HE PRODUCING AN EGG SOMEWHERE FROM HIS PERSON

A man who is clearly Joel Dommett on Strictly

0230

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"you don't know the completely legitimate legal arguments we're going to use, they go to another school"

On Friday, it was announced City had been found guilty of the vast majority of the 115 charges brought against them and Al Mubarak has responded with a letter to fans on the club's website.

"Following Friday's media reporting, many of you will have spent your evening answering questions and responding to messages from friends, family and colleagues. So have I," Al Mubarak said.

"Here's what I said to my family: The Premier League process still has a long way to run, and our confidence and intent in proving the club's innocence is just as strong as when this began.

"There are so many things that I would like to be able to share with you to help you understand why we feel so confident in our position.

"But the strict confidentiality of the legal process and our determination to respect it means I cannot do that at the moment. Even this letter underwent several legal checks to make sure it complies."

5175

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

why are so many BBC article headlines written like that Simpsons pamphlet

Your child has left home. Here's why it's time to stop checking up on them

15011

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Chris Mason reporting that Hitler has shot himself in his bunker: "this is not what Hitler wanted today to look lke"

Chris Mason: "This is not what Farage wanted today to look like"

1170

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

On my audiobooks bullshit again and I'm currently very much enjoying The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (translated by Jay Rubin), but it might mostly be because the narrator does a voice for one of the characters that sounds exactly like Tim Gunn from Project Runway

Cover of Haruki Murakami's The Wind Up Bird Chronicle

120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I'm aware this is catty but also what the hell is going on here

People responding to them with the OP replying yesss

oh my goodness wouldn't you know it, more responses, more "yesss"

120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Charles defeats Burnham at Stamford Bridge but then gets an arrow in the eye at Hastings, Macron is crowned King of England by Christmas

BBC HEADLINE: King Charles, Macron and Burnham to preview Bayeux Tapestry display

0100

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

me from Week 2 onwards at the Edinburgh Fringe, 2008-2015

"I am damned if I am going to stand on a stage, having won a resounding victory... And be demeaned and humiliated by nobodies," he says.

0260

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

And then finally Metro Land at Pleasance Jack Dome, 9.40pm. Really stupid sketch comedy from some very charming and high energy lads, nice to end with some total nonsense really

120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Then Madeleine Brettingham @littlemaddles.bsky.social at @gildedballoon.bsky.social Teviot, 8.20 - boy this is a special show. Relentlessly funny even when going to some dark places, Madeleine is an amazing storyteller with such a high hit rate, plus easily the best use of a firework at the Fringe

161

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Then Kemah Bob at Pleasance Upstairs, 6.50pm - sensational! probably the most effortlessly funny person I saw today, hilarious stories and gags from the get go but also just had so much fun with the audience, so well balanced between polished gag writing and playful crowd work

120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Then Tom Cashman at Monkey Barrel 5pm. This show features a lot of DATA and VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF DATA and you'll be shocked to learn that I bloody loved that, but also Tom is just packing in gag after gag that just batters audiences into submission, also some great NZ specific flat white slams

260

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Then it was Tom Neenan @tpneenan.bsky.social at Underbelly Bluebell, 3.15. this is Tom's first "pure" stand-up hour after character comedian shows in the past and it's remarkable how effortlessly he's made the switch, a lot of heart with the same number of stupid stupid Tom gags, wonderful stuff

120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

First up was Gareth Gwynn @garethgwynn.bsky.social at @gildedballoon.bsky.social Patter House 1pm. Gareth is the nicest man in comedy and this is such a charming show about his completely bonkers ancestor told with a contagious joy. Some of the best tea towels you'll see at the Fringe.

372

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Trump during the Spain celebrations

0457

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

[Jenny Eclair voice] why would anybody do that to me

The above post, with 8 likes, 1 repost below it

090

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Here is behind the scenes footage of Reece and me trying to be excited

180

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

YOU'VE GOT BRAILLE, a new audio sitcom starring Steve Pemberton, Alison Steadman, Chloe Petts and Reece Finnegan is OUT NOW! it's been one of my favourite things to work on, please please please do give it a listen wherever you get your podcasts! podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/y...

Reece in the studio on the right with Martin Trenaman and Alison Steadman

Reece with Chloe Petts and Kevin KG Garry

4349

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

*pushes glasses to the top of my nose* actually this *is* the first time it's ever entered the UK unless you think the United Kingdom existed 900 years ago, what you mean this is the first time it's entered the landmass currently known as the UK in 900 years, you're WELCOME

Headline: BAYEUX TAPESTRY ARRIVES IN UK FOR FIRST TIME IN 900 YEARS UNDER POLICE GUARD

2262

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

HE'S LOST MASON, I REPEAT, FARAGE HAS LOST MASON

Mason: Farage called by-election from weak position - and it could backfire on him

2305

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

oh no, oh no, sorry everyone, I love this

1133373

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

all of us waiting for footage of Ronaldo crying

I would like to see the baby meme from the Mandolorian

110832

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

i don't think Ronaldo should start trying to kill me as well

"'you've been trying to kill me for 23 years' - should Ronaldo start?"

1527

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

they've turned off quote tweets and replies but I'd just like to say that the UK was the biggest recipient of the 1948 Marshall Plan funds from the USA (yes same year as the birth of the NHS) so saying the US had razed us off every penny to pay for weapons is pretty galling tbh

Cara Ellison: maybe this hasn't sunk in for anyone who should care but the NHS was birthed when the UK *literally had negative money*. The USA had razed us of every penny to pay for weapons to defend ourselves against Germany, Germany had bombed all our industrial sites. We still did it in 6 months. 6.

3120

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

regardless of the Scotland result I'm looking forward to the totally normal way BBC Sport is going to cover it

BBC headline: why Haiti Vs Scotland was antidote to the ills of world football

Flawed but relentless Scotland show themselves as men of substance

2123

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

thank you for finally giving me permission Costa, up until this point all of my sips have been sordid shameful backalley affairs

A Costa advert with the words "cheer loud, sip proud"

1283

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Changed my mind, we should dunk on Will

What are the popular policy views a UK PM ought to hold? Obviously I personally strongly object to a lot of Starmer's views, but it's not clear to me there's some wildly popular alternative that Labour is inexplicably refusing to touch.

1161

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

glad the big news outlets are finally picking this story up

Michael Fassbender says it is becoming harder to know what to trust online

2130

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

The vote is being counted in Makerfield. And it's a vote of real importance. But what is a vote? Well, it's a way of electing officials. Whoever has the highest number, wins. But what are numbers? Well, they can start as small as 1, and can go up to 4. After that though, things get tricky.

Chris Mason, staring down the camera, saying his usual fucking nonsense

1332

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Also interested to know how the Labour Party was forged out of the shipyards of Belfast, given the Labour Party has never stood for government in Belfast

There comes a point when honesty requires action. And for me, that point came last week.

As honourable members know, I came into politics for one reason. That was to enact change.

But to be able to work out where you’re going, we must realise where we have come from. The Labour party I joined is one that was chiselled out of the mines of the north east. It was hammered out of the shipyards of Govan, Liverpool and Belfast. And it was forged in the factories of the industrial revolution.

1420723

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Al Carns, buddy, the entire point of the GFA is to ensure there is a political, nonviolent path to what the IRA were trying to achieve. what do you think happens if you take that away?

Carns suggests Northern Ireland Troubles will help republicans achieve what IRA wanted
In his speech Carns also said he thought the defence investment plans was not sufficiently funded.

But he then went on to spent more time talking about another reason for his resignation – his opposition to the Northern Ireland Troubles bill. On this, he went even further than he did in his resignation letter last week – because he suggested the legislation would help republicans achieve what the IRA was fighting for.

He said:

The IRA failed to achieve its political ends through the use of terrorist tactics. We must be exceptionally careful that we do not help them achieve those ends through other means.

The constant, never-ending legal wranglings that undermine the contract between the nation and those that serve is neither a good use of taxpayer money nor an effective execution of strategy.

Inquests, inquiries and an independent commission create a hierarchy of truth. It will cost us hundreds of millions for 15 years, painting the state as an aggressor, supporting our adversaries’ political objections and causing untold anguish for those that only ever deployed to protect us.

We have neither the political capital nor the resources to spare for this unjust journey.

1636092

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

BBC Sport stop making everything about Liverpool challenge: impossible

Headline: Wirtz, Isak & Diomande shine at World Cup as Iraola plots Liverpool revival

1142

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Currently listening to @feargalc.bsky.social 's brilliant Northern Ireland: The Fragile Peace and it's a really clear and accessible look at the politics of the region, showing how history from 1690 onwards haunts it, while making sense of an often impenetrable sectarian culture

A picture of Feargal Cochrane's Northern Ireland

090

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

ah yes, that untold story. one of the least told stories in sport, I imagine

A Netflix poster for UNTOLD UK: LIVERPOOL'S MIRACLE OF ISTANBUL

290

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

my "this isn't the start of a pandemic" statement is raising a lot of questions already answered by my statement

Hantavirus outbreak not the start of a pandemic, WHO says, as five cases confirmed on cruise ship

2243

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Finished this and then listened to Close To Home by Michael Magee which was excellent but also very painful, you ever get the sense that everything is completely fucked beyond salvation and we never deserve to know peace? Anyway now I'm on a Robert Harris book because I'm a coward

230

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Finished this, it was great and heartbreaking and sadly inevitable, am now listening to The Cold Cold Ground which, despite looking like a book that has an advert on the tube with lines like "Professor Brett McMuscles Has 24 Hours To Find The Lancashire Strangler", is actually really rather good

130

Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

[climbing out of my car which is now embedded in my neighbours' front room, turning to them hands on hips] honestly I'm as mad about this as you are

Somewhat ludicrous BBC headline: "staggering" I was not told Mandelson failed vetting, says PM

318944