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Sweasel von Trapp

@irritatingly.gay
677 followers 287 following 19K posts

Listen, Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.

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Reposted by Sweasel von Trapp
toilet bones @toiletbones.bsky.social · 13h
Found the email I sent when I got accidentally added to the faculty listserv of an orthopedic surgery clinic and nobody would remove me so I sent this email to all faculty/staff/med students and they removed me almost immediately
Hello Bone Colleagues, 
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans. 

--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine 
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 3h
One of the little nylon foot-nubbins on this armoire broke, leaving the nail to gouge trenches into the floor when I slid it to clean behind. So, time to disassemble, deep clean, and replace the nubbins with better quality sliders.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 3h
And spider egg sacs. Sooo many spider egg sacs.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 4h
There's no need for you to subtweet about me like this. If you have something to say about my well known nun killings, just come out and say it.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 4h
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 4h
Oh, Israel… never change 🥰 (Please change)
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 4h
Never, ever look under the furniture near the parrot’s cage
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Alice Ghostley @piegoblin.bsky.social · 16h
Jim Bakker has died.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Blanche was one of the oddest people I have ever met. I met her when she started dating her second husband, John, who was also fairly high on the list of oddest people I have ever met. They were very good for each other. This will be a thread. 😂
millerandketchamfuneralhome.com
Obituary for Blanche Marlene (Rider) Welch | Miller & Ketcham Funeral Homes, Inc.
Celebrate the life of Blanche Welch and join others in sharing memories, stories, and condolences.
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Darren Dahly @statsepi.bsky.social · 15h
They hounded Aaron Swartz to death for downloading papers from jstor but society is now supposed to just accept mass theft because this thing can write that TPS report *for* you. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_S...
en.wikipedia.org
Aaron Swartz - Wikipedia
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 6h
His duplexer don't flip all the way over, if you know what I mean
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jaypea but spooky @jaypea.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
Had a dream they rebooted Hellboy with Ted Danson in the titular role and now it is my life’s mission to get this film made
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 19h
Look at fuckin' Epson over there...
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
“Printer” IS the slur
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
because a toaster oven doesn't pretend to be a person, you under-boiled egg
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
I have to note here that the turkey hadn't been carved yet; she was just pulling meat off with her fingers while it rested after coming out of the oven. I was still busy cooking, but Grampa was watching with amusement as every couple of minutes, she'd walk past and grab another little nibble. 😂
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Joanne Rowling naming a Jewish wizard:
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Honestly, we should all be so lucky as to go through life like Blanche. I struggle to tolerate being perceived at the best of times, and this lady was out there in her bright orange NASCAR truck, one tit flapping in the wind, grabbing fistfuls of turkey, giving zero shits.
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Reposted by Sweasel von Trapp
Nanoraptor @nanoraptor.danamania.com · 05/10/2026
Can you imagine a juvenile parasaurolophus learning how to honk? Just pottering along beside mum or dad practicing along at like six am when the herd rises to move on. Praaaapapapap
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
I have to note here that the turkey hadn't been carved yet; she was just pulling meat off with her fingers while it rested after coming out of the oven. I was still busy cooking, but Grampa was watching with amusement as every couple of minutes, she'd walk past and grab another little nibble. 😂
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
because a toaster oven doesn't pretend to be a person, you under-boiled egg
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
“Printer” IS the slur
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Alice Ghostley @piegoblin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Dennis Hastert has died.
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Alice Ghostley @piegoblin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Colin @colin-fraser.net · 05/10/2026
First of all, usually, no it doesn’t, other than very superficially. But more importantly, the reason it is bad to treat persons as non-persons is because they are persons. It does not follow that it is bad to treat everything in the world as a non-person. Most things are not persons.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Gremlins.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 04/10/2026
Kenny Loggins at the scene of a horrible farming accident: Loose... foot's loose... oh God, his foot's so loose Please, Louise, help me try and find his knees Jack, get back, that beam looks like it might crack
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
You know how Stephen King characters seem unrealistically odd until you've been to rural New England?
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
I read that and chuckled 😂 It's true! They *were* made with care; I just can't vouch for what else they were made with. The scalloped potatoes were so bad that after being quietly dumped in the woods, not even the wild animals would eat them. They remained intact for at least a month.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
She was a real one. Possibly one of the realest!
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
As an aside, Blanche's sister Brenda was in the nursing home with Lillian, so I got to spend a little time with her too. Brenda did not remember that her husband had died. She flirted with me anyway. Shamelessly. I always made sure to give her a hug when I visited. 😂
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
John and Blanche's home was modest but immaculately kept. While he was married to Carol, I once saw John make a large batch of salsa in his barn because the kitchen wasn't clean. Two very odd ducks that quacked the same song.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Blanche either never wore a bra, or never wore one that fit. I'm not sure which. After a mastectomy, Blanche declined reconstruction. She just walked around with a floppy tit on one side, and nothing on the other, completely unbothered.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
When I cooked at camp, Blanche would sample the food before it was officially served. I recall making a full Thanksgiving-style turkey dinner one year. By the time everyone sat down to eat, a noticeable amount of turkey had gone missing. My grandfather claims it was a quarter of the bird.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Her turkey was dry, flavorless, and an unsettling shade of gray. Her scalloped potatoes and their purported ability to kill on contact were a running joke for well over a decade. But they were made with love.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Blanche began coming to our hunting camp. This caused consternation, because it Was Not Done™. Women did not come to camp. She brought home cooked dishes for everyone. They were, without exception, inedible.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
John never learned to drive, nor did his first wife, Carol. When John and Blanche got together, he bought her a new truck. Or rather, an almost new truck. It was bright orange. It had previously been an Indy 500 pace car. It was covered in a genuinely funny amount of branding.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Blanche was one of the oddest people I have ever met. I met her when she started dating her second husband, John, who was also fairly high on the list of oddest people I have ever met. They were very good for each other. This will be a thread. 😂
millerandketchamfuneralhome.com
Obituary for Blanche Marlene (Rider) Welch | Miller & Ketcham Funeral Homes, Inc.
Celebrate the life of Blanche Welch and join others in sharing memories, stories, and condolences.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Update: got my bed put back together. 🥰
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
I have no sense of how I would even price a sweater repair. At my hourly real job rate, it would be cheaper to buy a new sweater than have me mend one. Probably by a lot. But I *want* to practice my mending skills, so I'm grateful for the opportunity. 🤷
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
I'm not sure if this is unusual or not, but money is not a strong motivator for me, especially for "side gig" projects. A project is either something I want to do, or something I do not want to do. No amount of money will turn a "do not want" task into a "want" task for me.
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
(And I do not charge. You can pay for shipping, but that's it.)
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Reposted by Sweasel von Trapp
Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
If you wanted a skeleton in your yard for Halloween, you should've put a body out to decay 3 weeks ago
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 05/10/2026
Somebody needs to check Deniece Williams' hard drive. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI7Y...
youtube.com
Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It for the Boy (Official Video)
YouTube video by DenieceWilliamsVEVO
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 04/10/2026
I started moving furniture around and then I started repairing furniture and now my bed is disassembled and I am out of energy. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight 😂
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Sweasel von Trapp @irritatingly.gay · 04/10/2026
Jesus, are you going for honorary lesbian status? That's some C L E A N framing
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