iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Okay so you've never been to a Hawks game, but I bet you've at least seen a hawk. Huh scumbag?

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me when i have to piss worse than any person has ever had to piss in the history of humanity

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they're boosting your ass on doxxsky

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everyone and everything is becoming stupid and lazy

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

assigning benjamin netanyahu an essay about why genocide is bad

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Silicon Valley AI surveillance startup, Lucifer, secures $666 billion in initial funding round

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hypothetically speaking, let's just say these are my monkeys and this is my circus. they're not. but for the purpose of this exercise let's pretend they are.

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the little devil sitting on my left shoulder just shot and killed the little angel fluttering above my right shoulder

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creating a block list simply titled “opps”

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Reconstructionist @unavaleable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The forward pass and its consequences have been a disaster for the game of football

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Reposted by illumi

Every French presidential poll LADY HITLER - 35% JEAN D'AUSTÉRITÉ - 18% CHUD COMMUNISTE - 17%

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

not my fuck around. not my find out.

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The only time I'm Choosin' Texas is when asked which state's senator is the Zodiac Killer

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

muted all the discourse and now my bluesky feed is empty?

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Oh you thought I murdered and ate 36 people? Well guess what? It was only four. Got your ass.

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lizard @lizzzard.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

was going to walk outside and heard my daughter ask my wife “when you really think about it, what is the meaning of life” so i figured i’d stay in and give them a few more minutes to figure that one out themselves

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Reposted by illumi

i’ve actually heard every song (yes, every one) and that makes me better than all of you

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you’re either listening to music with me or you’re listening to music against me

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“Muscular Christianity” and its 13 dudes you could beat up while blindfolded and handcuffed

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can’t even remember the last time i was able to hop up out of bed. let alone turn my swag on.

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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Bringing a pot of chili to my interviewer

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Reposted by illumi

The Intimate Toilette (A Woman Urinating), by François Boucher, 1760s

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Behold, I have invented a Tamagotchi that can get you arrested

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You see it’s different because furbies weren’t the government’s eyes and ears in 1984

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They should invent a social media app that isn’t annoying

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pretending to whip my dick out and piss all over the floor at a job interview

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thinking about how shailene woodley wanted to get dicked down one more time before committing to an orgasmless marriage to aaron rodgers

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inside of you are two wolves. they are both made up entirely of microplastics.

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i'd never show up to an interview with an iced coffee. the caffeine would ruin my high.

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how tf do animals poop without doomscrolling on tiktok

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If I ever went in public like this I'd kick my own ass

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shaking my dick at the urinal for an hour and still ending up with a drop of piss on my pants

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Irrationally angry that Community barely cracked the list

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inventing the first computer that wants to kill itself

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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

posted from my samsung smart vibrating butt plug

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sometimes i’ll just randomly find out. no fucking around to speak of.

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who's even giving candy to all these babies in the first place? hell, i'm doing them a favor by stealing it. saving them from a lifetime of poor eating habits.

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if you're seeing this, the curse has been reinstated

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