iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 13h

Bag of cunts. I'm shouting at the TV. They're all giving it the victory cries and "WE GOT HIM!". HE got him you bunch of helmets. There was hardly any fucking clever detective skills or psychological profiling going on.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

He's going to be 5 at Christmas 😮

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I've been coveting Lanx boots for years 😍

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

That's how he rolls. His nursery teacher "you can tell he's a middle child".

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Crotch Goblin 3.0 got carjacked by a lad with no clothes on. Most likely a junkie. Mad times we're living in.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I was telling Joe to fuck off through the TV screen.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

No but in all seriousness, if Richard gets banished I will burn this shithole to the ground with everyone in it.

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Reposted by HolyCrayons

Shahan Miah @shahanshahan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I've just declared myself as a traitor by mistake #CelebrityTraitors #TheCelebrityTraitors

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Reposted by HolyCrayons

Matt Massarella-Gill @3788mg.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

*Ross Kemp everytime somebody says hello to him #CelebrityTraitors

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Ohhh that sounds like a bit of me. I've had to have the air con on the last two nights! I'd already retired the summer dressed and dug out the jeans. Absolute chaos it's caused me.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I think they're all showboating for Nigella.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

It's literally October next week. It should not "feel like" 24 degrees on the north east coast.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Someone on Instagram just unironically/completely sincerely said Toploader's 'Dancing in the Moonlight' would be their 'wake me up from a coma' song and I can't.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

You've just shone a torch through your ball bag, haven't you?

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

The Italian holiday episodes of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' are running again, just incase you want to do something better like swallow a carrier bag or or staple your nipples.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I have to forego a cheeky post-lunch nap today to attend a phonics meeting at school.

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Reposted by HolyCrayons

GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Human anatomy has always been ny Achilles Rectum

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Plus, it's nice to have something to look forward to, isn't it?

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

See also, rise and recline armchairs, ear wax treatment, Wiltshire Farm foods and vaginal dryness.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Fuck. Forgot to take part in the Great North Run again. That makes 22 years in a row now.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Absolutely for CG1.0's year. Still the one on year round shades in the corner. CG2.0's nursery/reception school gate scenario is VERY different. I've had to.....integrate 🫣😨🤢

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

My new toxic trait is judgmentally watching videos of strangers plating up their Chinese/Kebab takeaways and then wanting their takeaway. Apparently.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Look at that Robot's naff shoes.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

This is reminiscent of when I realised I could buy After Eights at any time of year and they didn't have to be locked away in the "Christmas cupboard". Dizzyingly freeing.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Someone keeps stealing my pills.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

SO MANY. Richard has taken Toby up the hill next to our house armed with holey shoe boxes. Losers.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Message received off one of the nursery mums just now - "hope you're enjoying the summer holidays!" Me, reading said message -

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Thought I'd lost them, but pleased to report I've located my binoculars for tomorrow's eclipse ☀️

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Exactly! Another prolific Twitter/Bluesky arsehole was suggested last week, WHYYYYYYY?!

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANO

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Oh the constant policing of who you should and shouldn't like on here is dire. Primary school bollocks.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

How can anyone have any beef with Jacqui?! I was a mutual too, she even went as far as to make some calls with famous friends to help an old friend of mine complete a dying a wish before he passed, all off her own bat. We need more Jacqui's on social media tbh. She's a big miss.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Ah. I'm rarely online so have pleasantly avoided any discourse.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

I've just aggressively booted Toby out of the room. This is mummy and Alexander's alone time.

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HolyCrayons @holycrayons.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Oh I didn't realise it was originally a book!

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Reposted by HolyCrayons

Neil @enanem.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

When you bump into an ex and they don’t look that great, and it makes you feel a lot better about yourself. One of my exes is currently experiencing that.

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