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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist

@grjohnson.bsky.social
563 followers 812 following 7.9K posts

Surrealist coming-of-age comedy-horror novel A BAD DREAM WHERE YOU'RE BACK AT SCHOOL available in paperback now: www.amazon.com/dp/B0FSMY81PP

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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 17h
Nebula dropping him isn't about accountability or punishment, it's about the women who work/create for Nebula not being comfortable with him on the platform for totally understandable reasons, many of whom know him personally and feel more betrayed than we do as fans.
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Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 21h
People aren't more rude. They're just more frequently in situations were rudeness is tolerated or positively encouraged. People who yell on the Internet become sweet little pussycats when you're privately hanging out.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 19h
Boss: hey did you make that lord of the rings painting? Donato Giancolo: yep, real sexy, just like you asked for Boss: what
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 20h
SERBIAN FILM$
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 20h
BACKROOMS (2026, rewatch): this movie has so much fuckin sauce, man, imagine what kind of movies we'll get when Kane Parsons, Child Filmmaker, grows up.
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Tred @tredlocity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Cartoon wolves used to be horny for human women. But now human women are horny for cartoon wolves. The reason? Woke.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I block so many people on here, over fuckin anything. Soon my experience of this app will be functionally equivalent to a small discord server.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The other one I'm seeing here is "he can rehabilitate but he should never have had a public career," but let's say he was a painter rather than a youtuber; should he not have painted ever again on the off-chance his paintings became popular? He's a public figure because his work is good, no one...
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
My timeline is currently about 50% quote-tweeting this article with high, well-deserved praise. I'm gonna post a thread with some takes, but they won't be as good or as comprehensive as the article, so read the article.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I walk up to the whiteboard and write SALÒ, OR 121 DAYS OF SODOM, the draw a line through the S in SODOM, turning it into a dollar sign.
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Flora 🍓🏳️‍⚧️ @floramerigold.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Yesterday's news about Jacob Geller broke my heart, so much that I couldn't stop dwelling on it all day. In an effort to make sense of this horrific news and my admittedly complicated feelings about it, here is my article on the Jacob Geller situation: epiloguegaming.com/what-do-we-d...
epiloguegaming.com
What Do We Do With Jacob Geller? - Epilogue Gaming
Earlier this week, a friend noticed Jacob Geller’s book, How A Game Lives, sitting amongst my living room shelves. Under almost any other circumstances, this would have been an exciting invitation for...
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It's Last Jedi and it isn't close
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
One thing that stuck with me was how literally no one treats Main Character Guy with any level of respect (including the girlfriend he leaves the emotional voice recording to), until the very end he's just a doordash driver they're annoyed with for taking this long.
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Violet 🐈 Comms on Hold @violetkatart.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i myself will not be keeping up with geller’s work for the foreseeable future, but also: what kind of statement did you people want from him. its like the people commenting read a completely different post
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Jacob Geller @jacobgeller.com · 01/10/2026
Jacob Geller | Sexual Assault or Sexual Violence | Definite suspension for one semesterMany of you have seen the results of my college Title IX investigation. I can confirm that the findings are true. The records were recently shared without the permission of the victim and, without knowledge of their wishes, I do not want to provide any more potentially identifying details. She and I spoke about it the day after and agreed — I had assaulted her. She later reported this to the university’s Title IX office, I cooperated with the investigation, and I was given the (very mild, I concur) sentence of a semester suspension. 

Suffice to say, it is the greatest regret of my life. I traumatized a brilliant person who trusted me, hurt them in a way I can never undo. 

For more than a decade now, I have attempted to reckon, grow, and recover from the version of myself who did this. I think about it every day. I’ve previously shared this history with many of the people close to me, including early in my relationship with my now-wife, and I’m deeply sorry that this has now hurt so many of you. My continued drive to make myself and the world better is closely tied with the pain I’ve caused.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I don’t think there's a single person with any level of celebrity who could have disappointed me more with serious sexual assault allegations than Jacob Geller. Like, that fuckin sucks.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Pumped Up Kicks is easily number one here.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
READY PLAYER ONE (Spielberg, 2018): hoo boy. I think this is substantially better than its reputation, but only because Spielberg directed the fucking shit out of it, as he is wont to do. It's more weird than it is directly bad imo
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Jason Fanhees @jasonfanelli.com · 01/10/2026
Hey this fucking sucks. Makes me sick.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Precious Angel" is a top-tier Dylan song, it beats out any variant of "verse, harmonica solo, verse, harmonica solo for six minutes" any day of the week.
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Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tom Cruise in Magnolia (1999)
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Since i'm almost done with "three bros dicking around make an offbrand amazing race" is there another show about bros dicking around making offbrand reality shows? Surely there's a survivor variant of this.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Look i think the guys writing the iranian propaganda for americans really need someone to cut the many pages of "glory be to the light of islam" stuff, theyre onto something propagandawise but that stuff kills it dead in its tracks.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Latest season of Jet Lag pairs Adam with the guest player (tom scott) rather than the classic ben/adam vs sam/guest. Probably a good call balance-wise; obviously the guest is going to be the worst at it since theyre not a professional jet lag player, and adam has proven himself to be the best at it.
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Sasho Todorov @sashotodorov.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I feel like there's a lot of blind spots about how men encounter this. Sexual assault, like every other crime, is primarily committed by repeat offenders. Most guys aren't around people bragging about violating current norms. (Which does not mean those norms are *good* - e.g. Revenge of the Nerds).
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is true but a lot of people were making more money than they ever had before while sitting at home and watching Tiger King, I don’t think it's crazy to be nostalgic.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The difference is that NFTs don't do anything (or, at least, the explanation of what they do is enormously complicated and fundamentally trivial) while generative AI obviously fuckin does something. The comparison is laughable.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Crazy that there are straight women out there, like y'all get that girls are prettier, right?
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Dancing Mallori Johnson
ALT: Dancing Mallori Johnson
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019): okay, did you know there was a decade-later Zombieland sequel? I didn't. Whole cast returned and everything, even if their fame profiles had all risen (except probably Breslin, who doesnt get much to do). It's fine. Improves upon the original is some ways, even.
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singular locus sarah @scgriffith.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
reading the comments and the QTs to see if anyone knows why he's dressed as bread and so far nobody has even bothered to guess
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Remember Midnight Gospel? Man, i fuckin loved that show, it genuinely gave me a sense of balance that i really needed at that time. The episode with his mom, man, definitely an all-time top 10 tv ep, what happened?
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This is pretty easy imo, no need to over think it To be, or not to fuck, that is the question
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Mikhail Gorbaechev @mikhailgorbaechev.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The output of the American country music industry is, for the most part, utter garbage. Yes I am a snob. I don't care, it sucks.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
ZOMBIELAND (2009): i enjoyed this kore as a time capsule than as a movie in its own right. This has gotta be the 2009est movie ever made, from its irreverent parody of an extremely mid-late-00s genre to its weird-in-hindsight gender politics.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The next Star Wars trilogy should be Episode XIII-XV and then they should fill in X-XII as prequels
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Still pretty gigantic undecideds here, gonna doom about it
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I'm getting pretty annoyed at headlines that are worded specifically to get memed on social media. "Therapists say these four words are the key to maintaining a healthy relationship" come on now
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Tilly Norwood.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Don't boo him he's right. I mean, I know that I'm not voting because of "material conditions," I'm voting because I see the republicans and ICE as moral evils, and I don't see why that's so hard for people to believe.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
This one actually has a very simple explanation. Walt, the protagonist, is a bad person who does lots of crimes, but his adventures are very fun to watch. His wife often wants to stop him from going on the adventures (because the adventures are evil and hurt people).
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Oh boy. I liked king kong 05 when I saw it when i was thirteen, it was a bunch of effects sequences but like, they're dinosaur effects sequences. Too long, but so is batman 22. Kong
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
THE BATMAN (2022): I can't really articulate why this doesn't really work for me. It looks great, the interpretation of the characters is good, the score is easily the best batman has ever had, and yet this is my second time attempting this one and my second time being bored by it.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Might be mistaken, but I think Great British Baking Show and Rupaul are the only reality shows on here? Not counting Fielder or Bourdain shows. Not saying those are bad shows, but I do think there's some recency bias in that category. Like, Baking Show over American Idol?
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Now seeing some people complain about the lack of Better Off Ted as a guy who likes the episode where the motion sensors can't see black people as much as anyone ("diversity: just the thought of it makes these white people smile"), come on now
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John @johnlk.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
As with all prequel shit there are themes that you can draw out of it that the movies themselves are extremely bad at doing
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I've seen some people comment on Bluey being absent. Now, i have never seen Bluey, can't comment on its quality, but it is shocking that there are zero examples of children's television on the list.
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Gabriel R Johnson, novelist @grjohnson.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
After seeing the full list, i think i'd swap out midnight mass for succession, that was a brainfart, and midnight mass is a miniseries anyways and should not have been counted, my b
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