iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 2m

My dyslexic mate wants a sporty hatchback He's looking at a VW Golf GiT

Reposted by Graham Bretman

Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 14h

I never realised how unfit I was until one time I had to run for a bus. I was out of breath within seconds and that was the wake up call I really needed to finally change my ways and buy a car.

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I bought an Eskimo a housewarming present and now he’s homeless.

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

It’s important to have friends who keep you grounded. Thats why all of mine are French baggage handlers.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

My Uncle started a business making religious figures on his wood lathe, but it's not going well He can't seem to turn a prophet.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

When our carpentry teacher let us build a trebuchet he got fired.

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Catapults were banned at school apart from in woodwork where you could always rely on Mr Jones to turn a blind eye.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

My latest show, Late Bloomer, that I toured around the world 2023-5 is on E4 Extra tonight at 10pm (and on catch up for a limited period of time). If you’re outside the UK, you can watch it on Netflix any time.

It’s me in my ABBA museum Winner takes it all T shirt. I’m sitting in a restaurant with my elbows on the table and my fingers locked under my chin. There is text and it says Late Bloomer is on channel E4 Extra tonight at 10pm.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

It's Halloween soon, and the kids will be banging on my door asking for sweets They're so demanding,next they'll want to be let out of the cellar. #LunchPun #Humoursky

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Knighty @knighty.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Due to a typo in a training manual. I have been doing 100 Crunchies a day! #LunchPun

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I worked on a programme at NASA to see if men could live on Mars But I was sick after the tenth one.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Tin foil hat conspiracy time, you've got to wonder if this was a Trump/Putin plan to ease sanctions.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Day 4 of a hair wash. Dry shampoo is doing some heavy lifting. Peri menny has thinned it right out. So if you want the rest of my hair, it’s in my brush. Hope Friday is treating you well.

My hair is short and various browns and blondes. It needed washing yesterday but I couldn’t be arsed. Ditto today. I’m also wearing glasses and a black and white striped top. I have ‘house’ make up on. As in, a bit. I’m sitting in a blue checked armchair with my cardigan hanging over the side.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

@stilldavis.bsky.social Thanks for following. I've got some jokes so rubbish that even the bin men refuse to take them.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

As Roy Castle sang on the show (or misquote) If you want to feel your best and you want it off your chest Medication is what you need.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

If you love Nandos as much as Gary is it the Peri Peri menopause?

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Are they going to rename it Blacksky in your honour?

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Agreed Boothby, each time I see the price increase at the pump I make a mental note to look up their profits. Similar with water companies when they talk about us saving water, yet they don't spend profits on repairing/upgrading infrastructure.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The Greengrocer says he won't let my Gran in his shop if she throws fruit again Ban Nanna? No, it was an orange.

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Apprently we’re supposed to eat bananas upside down like monkeys but when I tried it I nearly passed out.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

My friend is in a band that plays River City People covers It's a Tributary act

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

That explains videos I've seen. Some men must have very hot willies 😉

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It’s hard work being a David Van Day tribute act. Still another day, another dollar.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

My mate does a tribute act covered in aftershave He's 50 scent

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

@markreckons.bsky.social Thank you for following. Mainly comedy here, politics can be so depressing.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Take care, we'll be thinking of you.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Walkers have also released a flavour for lovers of strategic board games Chess and Onion

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My Nan loves hearing gossip about who has arthritis It's her rumour-tism.

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Gary Delaney Comedian @garydelaney.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Doctor, Doctor my joints hurt when I stand on the cracks in my bathroom tiles. - I’m afraid you’ve got grout.

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Graham Bretman @gbretman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I think it's like Deliveroo, but without the courier.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Hey guys, does anyone know what ‘envelope gravy’ is? Photo taken in a Real Canadian Superstore in Toronto. I previously assumed it was your arse crack when you’ve had a wet fart. ‘Oh no, I have envelope gravy!’ sort of thing.