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#SNLUK rankings from this twerp, not that you asked. Waxworks Fire Weekend Update One Show Worm Jorts Half Horse How To How Cold open / Monologue Overall, big improvement on last week, first show of this series that's up there with series 1. 7.5/10

020

This is more like it. I think they need to accept it's Fouracres' show now. #SNLUK

170

That lasted about 10 minutes, absolute shite. Now got the England match on oh lovely and it's Matterface and Dixon. Like AIDS teaming up with Ebola.

000

Just flicked that new quiz on Wisdom Of The Crowd. Bloody hell, makes Michael McIntyre's The Wheel look like Mastermind.

000

I've seen (at least an episode of) 50 of these. Understandably a lot of class British telly been omitted here: Utopia, The Shadow Line, The Long Firm, Extras, Inside No 9, Inbetweeners, Friday Night Dinner, numerous iterations of Partridge, Limmys Show. I could go on

It's bang out of order all their cheating and they should be punished harshly especially as Everton got shafted twice just for incompetence. But can I shock you? I don't think they should take any of their Premier League titles off them!

670

If there was any consistency and if the Premier League had any bollocks on them, Man City would be getting relegated at least one division for this. But we all know they won't be.

Snip of Athletic article by David Ornstein. It says: "Manchester City have been found guilty on almost all of the charges relating to breaches of the Premier League’s financial regulations.

The sanctions have not been decided, with all possibilities remaining on the table, and City are expected to appeal.

City have been found guilty on all but one of the 115 charges, according to sources briefed on the matter who spoke anonymously as they were not authorised to do so publicly."

You can't beat a proper old style boozer. This was a relaxed country gaff and my brother and his pals knew the landlord so we got to linger a bit longer. A delightful night in the world of wool.

Anyway, about that pub quiz. We only bloody won didn't we? £3 richer! In your face omens!

080

This is not just pizza-related fuckwittery, it's M&S pizza-related fuckwittery. Pizza was tasty to be fair!

Just accidentally plunged two fingers right into a red hot molten cheese pizza straight out of the oven. How's your evening going? Going a pub quiz later, the omens for success are not good!

140

This bloke gets it. I've been a bit shocked by the Presbyterian streak so many have showed over this mostly non issue. People who want to, get absolutely bollocksed pre-match already. If anyone fancies a pint at HT, instead of skulling it in 5 minutes they can take it to their seat and enjoy it.

150

John Barrymore: No Sense Of Adventure

They just showed the one and only episode of Bullseye where NOBODY gambled and played for Bully's Star Prize. I know, I live quite the rock n roll life!

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Alt: John Barrymore: No Sense Of Adventure

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Athletico Mince is no more. To be honest I thought it was already over, Bob clearly hasn't been arsed for a good while now. But when it was good it was very, very good. It was a little bit different but I LIIIIKED it!

Screenshot of Instagram post from Athletico Mince account. It says they're ending the podcast. For some reason Instagram won't let me copy the post text on my phone so that's the gist of it, I'm not typing all that shite up, sorry!

230

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Has anyone else noticed Brooklyn Pilsner seems to have disappeared from shops? For a few years it was a cheap but reasonably flavourful (by mass produced piss standards) ale in most supermarkets, but now you never see it. Makes you think

Matthew Le Tissier pondering something stupid

040

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Last assembly before Christmas, one posh, theatrical English teacher took up the whole time telling an interminable tale which ended in a kid dying but that was alright cos he got to join his dead ma in heaven or something. Cos he'd well overrun, that's how it ended. Merry bloody Christmas kids!

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

It's alright Tony, you don't have to say it pal. I'll say it for you, yes you are a racist. #70Up

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Cracking game this. Go on the midnight flitting shithouse Colts! #NFL

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Here we go it's Cris Collinsworth commentating on Patrick Mahomes. Take appropriate cover

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Dripping Glaze Donut

Alt: Dripping Glaze Donut

110

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Lol at Man U. Proper Keystone Cops stuff that.

000

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Today I learned that Dock leaves on nettle burns are merely a placebo. Was my entire childhood a lie?

GwedLid (Fisto to my mates) @gwedlid.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Reposted by Phony Clifton

Lovely thread about the RNLI. *Starts looking for RNLI caps online...

2103

For me Weekend Update Why Did You Break Up With Me The Shape CBA with any of the rest. The writers clearly couldn't either. #SNLUK

110

Don't know what yous all thought but that felt like a weak episode to me, even though I really like Jamie Demetriou and he tried his hardest here. Writing just wasn't quite there for me for a lot of the sketches. #SNLUK

140

Still baffled by the rise of Josh Widdecombe. It would be a great compliment to even call him a medium talent.

260

I didn't watch any of the Everton match but, based only on the majority of comments I've seen on here, you'd have assumed we'd got chased. But we won? Anyway up the still unbeaten toffees!

GwedLid (Fisto to my mates) @gwedlid.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

The technique from the Christ child is all over the place here. Having said that, he is half human-half God, so he probably has Superman strength to be fair to him. Jesus by 1st round KO

011

Reposted by Phony Clifton

Still going if anyone wants it?

399

Pop culture Stonks Time Machine 1984 BUY LOW Shoulder pads Big glasses Mullets Snooker Stock Aitken & Waterman SELL HIGH Skinheads Big sideys Bright blue eye shadow Hall & Oates Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Out of all of the famous artists from the Baroque era, who would you say was the biggest fanny-magnet? I'd say CaraVAGgio myself.

The deceased eccentric art critic Brian Sewell. In this photo he was in better times when he was alive.

110

The number for the Virgin Retention Team isn't terribly visible, I found it on Reddit of all places! Anyway it's 020 3743 6947 if you need. The fella was very good I have to say. Also you get straight through to the competent people with authority this way and no call centre queue annoyance.

012

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Money saving tip here if you're on TV plus broadband and you're out of contract. Do 15 minutes research on the competition and ring up the Retention Team. In one call, Virgin just halved my bill and smashed the Sky deal I'd found as if by magic!

140

This man's uncle had most of his brain blown out of his skull in front of a worldwide audience. And yet the late JFK still has more cognitive abilities than this roadkill eating fucking moron.

GwedLid (Fisto to my mates) @gwedlid.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Reposted by Phony Clifton

Anyone after a spare for Saturday? I've got one in the south upper, forty quid. Must be forever blue member.

053

Phony Clifton @stilldavis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Went to Katsouris Deli today for the first time in about 10 years. Man I had forgotten how much scran they give you! If you know you know.

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Get In My Belly Food

Alt: Get In My Belly Food, Fat Bastard off Austin powers